#1
Hello guys, Here is a tune I put together a few days ago. Since I'm new to the craft, I would really appreciate it if you would spare a couple of minutes to share any songwriting comments you have in mind. ALso, some musical pointers would be of particular help.

I know the actual recording is a long way off being perfect, so comments on production are also very welcome.

I sense this piece could benefit from having a few guitar fills here and there and, maybe, a second melody line for the 2nd chorus but what I'm more interested in is the structure/composition mistakes that I've made.

Thank you very much for your time and effort!

Here is a soundcloud link
https://soundcloud.com/s1ckandt1r3d/f-sharp-minor-song
#2
Hi dude!
Hope you don't mind if I criticize! I guess not, otherwise you wouldn't have put it here...

First, the mix could be a lot better. I have really good headphones and you seem to have to much stock in the high frequencies. Do the test and listen to you mix after on a cheap mono speaker like a cellphone. That'll help figure out which instrument needs EQ (those you don't hear, mainly the vocals in the beginning).

Apart from that, the song itself is really good. I like the vibe, it sounds garage/jungle-ish. A bit like The Black Keys You might need to end it differently though! Perhaps another solo with a fade out?

All in all, I love it! Keep on writing!
#3
Hey Fragmatyc!

Thank you very much for your answer. I couldn't agree more with you because I totally screwed up the EQ part. I don't even know how to balance frequencies out (if that's the word I need) on Garage Band. I did the whole thing using my ipad-mini and I barely know my way around it

The vocals turned out to be overdriven only because I sang too loud for my ipad mic to capture the sound properly

Fade-out solo! Spot on! I've been toying around with this idea but never got to record it though!

Thank you ever so much, kind stranger. If anything, you made my day!
#5
The song has a great groove to it, sounds nice!
The ending, has stated, was abrupt yet caught me totally off guard, was expecting something else. A fade out would be nice or perhaps the right ending note? Anyway, good job!