#1
Same old, same old,
going through the motions
on the waves of someone else’s sea.

Breaking backs with breaking bones,
shuffling the papers on a desk
full of other people's miseries.

Dig, dig, dig your grave
six feet in the ground.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream

dream
dream deeply, my love.
Sombre summertime sadness


i dont walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i live there, counting souls and feeding crows. i dream of something far away, a beast, a flick of tongue on my brow, hot dark breath kissing the nape of my neck, a dogtooth in my ventricle. even though i walk through the valley of the walkway of light, i will fear no hope, for i am alone; your inconspicuousness comforts me.
#2
When I first read this I immediately thought of someone working at a desk job. Same routine everyday just watching life drift by, only dreaming of better. A very gloomy image. However, I'm not sure if that was your intention or not, based on the first line of the second stanza, "Breaking backs with breaking bones". I couldn't interpret how this line fits in with the message. Overall it's a decent piece. 7.5/10

Crit mine CDO
Quote by cpt_pimp
my last fail was breaking up with my gf.

that's going to suck for a while


Quote by leg end
Well, not really haha!