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#1
I'm not exactly a great person, secret's out. I know that everything that goes wrong in my life is a result of me not thinking things through. Well I almost ****ed up bad this one time in the fall. Guys, don't do the things I do.

So, our story begins. Me and my buddies were hanging out sometime in mid-October 2014. We saw on Facebook this douche (Let's just call him Travis) we went to school with thought he could rap, and he signed to this indie record label called "Do or Die Records". We checked out their website, and it was totally non-legitamate. It was ran by a man, we'll just call him "Adam". My buddy Andrew was a wannabe rapper back in high school, so we thought it would be funny to send him his old Bandcamp on Facebook just to see what happened.

Adam messaged back roughly 10 minutes later saying "dude your friend has some MAD potential bro!! I wanna speak with him"

So I gave him Andrew's name and he added him on Facebook, and it continues... Adam just reaked of scam artist. He was obviously trying to lure him in with stuff like, "just imagine where you could go with a professional studio with top notch recording equipment. I can make it happen!"

We eventually scheduled a meeting for the following Saturday because we wanted to see how far we could go with this. He was driving back home from Chicago but agreed to come meet with us before going back to his house. Me and Andrew decided to go full out on douche clothes and wear saggy shorts and sweatpants and aviators and hoodies. Andrew's catchphrase for the meeting was "Namsayin'?" and mine was "Furreal, dawg". It was perfect.

We went to our local McDonald's and waited. Our buddy Thomas came with us, but he was too embarrassed to be seen with us so he just sat at a nearby table and watched. He said this was hands down the stupidest thing we've ever done.

Adam showed up late, and holy shit his appearance just screamed methhead/tweaker/whatever. He had long greasy hair, he didn't look like he'd showered in weeks. Holy shit he smelled too.

Anyway, we sat there and talked for about 15 minutes. We talked about Andrew's music and his "fanbase". Adam went on to tell us that he's had some legal troubles with his record label that landed him in prison 10 years ago, but he's finally starting his record label back up and needed our help to build it back from the ground up.

Just as things were wrapping up, out of the blue, TRAVIS walks in and sees us! My heart dropped. Thomas just burst out laughing and left the building. We were so ****ed. He recognized us from high school and was like, "You guys are in the rap game now? Really?!"

I shook my head and pointed at Andrew and said, "No, but he is."

They then insisted we go outside and have Andrew spit some rhymes at them and "see what [ya] got". There was a problem though. Andrew hadn't rapped seriously in like 5 years! I advised him to come up with some material incase some shit like this happened, but he's an idiot and ignored me.

We excused ourselves to the bathroom and told them to meet us outside. We were freaking the **** out! Adam was about to find out we were ****ing with him this entire time! In the bathroom we realized how ****ed we were and decided our best course of action. We made a run for it. We ran out out of the bathroom and dashed out the other side of the store to our car and drove off. We made our Facebooks private for the time being, Andrew deleted his bandcamp and that was the end of it.
Last edited by APileOfDeadCops at Jan 26, 2015,
#2


this is legit hilarious


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#3
that was the dumbest thing I have ever read

'nuff said.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#5
Thats a real great story.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#8
Quote by cha33 armstrong
No TL;DR

Can you come up with one for me? I spent a long ass time typing this story out and I don't wanna
#9
ooooooooooooh goooood


i reaaaaaaaaallly wanna post the pear right now......


I mean......

lolwut
I won't slave for beggars pay, likewise gold and jewels. But I would slave to learn the way, to sink your ship of fools.
#10
Our buddy Thomas came with us, but he was too embarrassed to be seen with us


Tom is to APileOfDeadCops what APileOfDeadCops is to lesbian transsexual A7X guy.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#11
sounds fresh, dawg.

Epiphone Hummingbird
Epiphone Futura Custom Prophecy (Twin EMG)
Vox Valvetronix VT20+
Vox Wah
Boss MD-2
Danelectro Cool Cat Drive
Boss EQ


#12


I don't even care that that shit was totally made up.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#13
Quote by deadsmileyface
its actually spelled "4real dawg"

Not if he's referring to a fursuit made of real animal fur.
#15
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE


I don't even care that that shit was totally made up.



Yea
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#18
alright, he's the new 'is he troll or not?' of UG
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#19
Quote by Pastafarian96
that was the dumbest thing I have ever read

'namnsayin?


FTFY
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#22
are you doing this for a creative writing class of something?
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#23
Quote by BjarnedeGraaf
are you doing this for a creative writing class of something?

prolly. i'd give him an A


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#24
Quote by JamSessionFreak
prolly. i'd give him an A



I wouldn't.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#26
This is basically the exact same as your last story. You were a douche and then ran away from your problems.


Give us something new next time.
#28
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
This is basically the exact same as your last story. You were a douche and then ran away from your problems.


Give us something new next time.

... well how else was I supposed to deal with this situation? Just have Andrew walk out there and humiliate himself trying to freestyle when he can't?
#29
Quote by APileOfDeadCops
... well how else was I supposed to deal with this situation? Just have Andrew walk out there and humiliate himself trying to freestyle when he can't?

Ask Andrew to write up another bullshit story for us to read while you're still arguing.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#32
No, then someone could get ahold of him and tell him I was ****ing with him the whole time. Then he'd send his street team after me and I'd be ****ed. That would be a careless mistake on my part.
#33
Quote by Neo Evil11
So you ditched your friend and drove away? Why do people keep doing that in the Pit?

Wait which friend did I ditch? Those wiggers weren't my friends lololol
#34
Just ditch the street team then
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#35
Quote by APileOfDeadCops
No, then someone could get ahold of him and tell him I was ****ing with him the whole time. Then he'd send his street team after me and I'd be ****ed. That would be a careless mistake on my part.

Nice fake story with no proof then
#36
I don't care whether the story was fake or not, it was still pretty funny
"Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones."
#38
Quote by Neo Evil11
You described Andrew as your friend. Plus you are a pussy for running away.

Pretty sure I implied Andrew came with me when we bailed?
#39
Quote by darkcheef
Nice fake story with no proof then

Well hey, The Rev told me to post more "douche stories" and I thought this one was particularly funny, so I decided to post it. Besides, go on r/AskReddit, none of those stories have proof, but people still believe them.
#40
Quote by APileOfDeadCops
Pretty sure I implied Andrew came with me when we bailed?
Ok then. This is the second time you invited a stranger and then ditched them. Better?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
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