#1
This is such a mish mash of random influences. SOUNDS REAL GUD THO. Might record it if can think of lyrics and find a vocalist

(file too big, needs zip)
Attachments:
McChing.zip
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#2
First, I want to say something: There's a Hebrew saying that goes something like this: "The baker does not testify about his own dough". An English analogous I've found was "Don't blow your own horn". Seems quite applicable in this musical context; I can see both in here and in your other thread that you boast your creations a bit too much. Doesn't mean you should think less of them, but it's annoying to see.

Now, regarding the piece:
I actually like most of it rather much; you got a pretty damn cool psychedelic sound through that delaying arrangement. But I do have a couple of problems/suggestions regarding the arrangement/structure:

A. You had some strange choices for the time signatures that don't seem to adhere to the rhythm of the melody correctly, including the way you chose to accentuate the drum beats. I made a suggestion for three parts that felt really off; maybe there were more towards the end, but I didn't want to go through every bit.

B. I think that during the change into the heavier section at bar 53, you should still retain at that point the psychedelic reverbing guitar, in a slightly different form, so it would still hold to its "airiness". Then drop it from 64 to 71.

C. At the part from bar 121 to 136, I didn't think the melody guitar at track 11 worked very well. The whole thing is very dissonant, though that's probably your more obvious intention, but that guitar line doesn't add much to it other than overburdening even more on the cluster of sounds. Maybe use again something more twangy akin to the guitar of the opening section but with a more compressed/powerful sound, and with a rhythm more interesting than a sequence of quavers.

D. The transition from bar 156 to 157 doesn't sound too good, in my opinion. I really like where it goes after bar 160, but again, the rhythm during the connection from the previous section doesn't flow the way it should when going all quavers. You might go around it by breaking the strumming into a contrasting bass/treble one of some form. I added a suggestion for this part as well; all I did was using a more interesting pattern for the clean strum in Track 2 and underlining it with a bassy overdriven part with the Track 3's (and a bit of the bass guitar to retain more of its fullness), and I think it worked pretty well. I also changed fret-12 on that guitar riff at bar 155 to fret-9 as it felt like a better preparation for the forthcoming change of sound. Basically, the connection as it is sounds too "opaque" all of a sudden, so I'd say you should aim at lingering some of the sound from the previous bar into this section (though considering this is Guitar Pro sound you can't tell too much of a recorded sound quality from it). Either way, you can use my suggestion if you like it.

Other than these suggestions, as I said, I really like it and it would work best as an instrumental in my opinion!
Attachments:
TimeSigs.gp5
Transition.gp5
#3
First of all, I think it's perfectly okay for you to think that your own work is good and compliment it as such. Your art is for you, first and foremost, after all. Briefly saying that it sounds good hardly qualifies as boasting in the first place, let alone too much boasting. Especially when it does indeed sound really good. If someone legitimately feels bothered by it, they need to relax.

The intro was great. Loved the textures you established with the guitars and key effects in the beginning. Those reverb-y guitar parts were very well put together. The drum writing here was fantastic. I really enjoyed the soaring transitions into and within the heavy section. Concerning the heavy part, I don't typically like my chuggy riffs to have bends in them, but you pulled it off very nicely. The drums are consistently excellent here. I absolutely loved 97-104. Extremely groovy and infectious. 121 sounded muddy in a way that I appreciate. The chords were very heavy and the simple melody was a welcome addition. 157 was pleasantly atmospheric. Very nice sounding chords. The guitar and bass at 161 supplement the overall sound of the section well. When the big chords hit, it sounds very epic, as I'm sure you intended it to. 197 was another section that I loved. The drums, guitar, and bass to make a unique and groovy soundscape. When tracks 10 and 11 hit at 205, it kills me. I love the harmony so much and the melody itself dances in a very, very interesting way. I hate you for coming up with that before I could lol. That and the outro gave a very cathartic feeling. Altogether, the song is excellent. Thanks for sharing and I hope to hear more from you.

It'd be awesome to get a critique on this if you have the time: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1663406
Last edited by Million Dead at Feb 6, 2015,
#4
i thought the intro was really cool. but then the djenty riff or whatever you wanna call it seemed kinda goofy to me, for the lack of a better term. also i like some of the chromatic lines or when you'd jump out of key, but i feel like the song never really settled on a harmonic backdrop. it doesnt really have an identity because of that.
cig
#5
yeah the time signature pattern of the intro riff is not what you wrote, but 3x 7/8 + 1x 6/8. Regardless, the whole bit up to bar 44 is fantastic. I loved it. Hella interesting chord shapes all throughout the song. The djenty riff that follows is a bit low profile but it's kind of necessary for your structure. In bar 78 the djent starts feeling a bit too empty, maybe introduce a keys fill with some very dim chords in the background? Cool harmony in 113 though.

The harmony in 121 is a tiny bit too muddy in my opinion, too much going on at the same time note-wise.

then the whole thing evolves into some sort of... ambient black metal? chorus thingy, but I'm kind of missing the toned down aspect of the beginning parts. oh there it is. Some of your transitions could use fade-outs or ins. Probably the part I like the least is 197, it's just kinda... nothing special about it. arpeggios in 3/4 with kinda iffy drums. Outro is fine, but again kind of an abrupt ending.

but overall strong song with some aspects that can be worked on, good listen
#6
I thought it was really cool, but i agree... The 11/8 is off-putting and doesn't really flow very well into other parts. However, when the heavy part kicked in I was like \m/ Really cool melodies and phrasing.
#7
*sees new tab uploaded by epi*
*knows he is in for an experience*
*gets snacks*
*takes shrooms*
*listens*
*experience intensifies*

XD but in all seriousness, this is good. some of the chords, especially on the dist. guitars, make the song feel a bit muddy and overbearing at times. sorry i cant give any better input, this is really unique and hard to fully grasp (ps i still use your wacky tuning haha its fun)