#1
ITT, we take adbots' threads and craft them into narratives (with their OP's for citation). Here's the first - of hopefully many to come!


Quote by wallderCharles
Adrenalast Yobo edifice tip* 1: Do not over
take: it is rattling measurable to improve a practical training rgime.
This does not beggary to be many than 20-30 proceedings 3 nowadays a
week. This Adrenalast
* gives your muscles instance to recou p and grow. When grooming,
especially with weights never do much than your embody can really do.
This faculty termination in casualty to yourself and unmake your
neutral. Musculus construction tip* 2: Eat properly: fast is historic
when you teach hardened. It is also primal for reaction embody fat.
You give not be healthy to impart off that rocklike body


The Adrenalist
Yobo's 1st Contact of the Edifice Tip

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do not overtake...

It is rattling. Yobo stood shivering on the cold precipice-----marveling Edifice's Tip. Tis a rattling measure... No practical training regime could improve on this!---- one of valour and courage to climb!

Yet Yobo had only just begun climbing such mountains. And the cold shunned him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20. 30. How many precedings has it been? Nowadays snowblinded Yobo.

"3 miles a week!!" He yelled towards the Tip. "WHEN WILL IT END!!!"


And after that last snowflake landed - from that day's sudden storm - it had all happened. Yobo entered ADRENELAST

Recouped. Grown. Groomed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Never had Yobo felt such determination. Determined to terminate Edifice at last; to unmake the casualty within himself, and claim the Tip his neutral zone... Yobo pulled his last pull; reaching the Tip. With one last heaving, muscular contraction, Yobo had conquered - and collapsed in bliss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"EAT ME PROPERLY!!!" He exclaimed, fast echoing through the vast expanses of Edifice Range. Twas a historic day! A primal moment, an embodied reaction.

Yobo was no longer fat----his body, rocklike-----as if Edifice's Tip had imparted within him


THE END
#2
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#3
Upon hearing the good news, Vance knew he had to spread the good word to everyone. "Cheap *******s! are available! "Cheap *******s! are available", Vance cried joyfully to the people of Ultimate Guitar dot com. All the pit dwellers clapped and rejoiced cheerfully upon hearing the news of affordable cooking.
Last edited by MeTallIcA313 at Feb 17, 2015,
#4
Best adbot/spambot was the one that used to constantly copy anvil's post saying he wanted my dick in his ass in the mlp thread.

It doesn't even need a story to go with it.
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Feb 17, 2015,
#5
Pedro sighed a little as he finished his post. Though he had tried to learn english since he purchased a computer, he found himself having difficulty fully grasping a language bizarre enough that words like "Close" and "Close" or "been" and "bin" can have completely different meanings in spite of identical spellings and pronunciations, respectively. In spite of writing it to the best of his ability, even he knew staring at the screen in front of him that the post he had created was barely understandable.

"Pedro!" A hoarse voice called from down the stairs. "I can't find my medication!"

"Coming, mother!" Pedro replied. He got up from his desk chair, running through the workshop in which his projects sat in varying stages of completion. Diagrams and illustrations of various official documents clung to the walls as vainly as an old man fighting to keep his grip against the tide, many of them peeling off. He made a mental note to re-paste them once he helped his mother. As he rounded the corner to descend the stairs, Pedro slammed the door behind him, still resolute that his poor mother would not know of his illicit work.

The elderly woman was bent over on the couch, dark black glasses sitting on her face, and a cane in her hand. She felt around the floor for the small pill bottle, which was in-fact located on the table nearby.

"Mother," Pedro started. "Your medicine is just on the table. Let me get it for you."

"Thank you dear." The elderly woman replied. "It warms my heart that you still care for this frail old woman."

"Always, mother. Always."

As Pedro dumped out two of the circular white pills, tears began rolling down his face. The affliction his mother had been struck by had robbed her of her sight, and though the local doctors had no ideas what it may be, they believed it would soon rob her of her life as well. With no idea what illness they fought, all they had given him was this bottle of placebos. She would never know the difference, and if they provided her some solace, then all the better. He had refused to give up hope though. Deep down, Pedro had hope that, if he took his mother to America, doctors there would know what ailed her, and would be able to save her. Maybe they would even be able to restore her sight.

As his mother swallowed the pills, he slowly marched back up the stairs, walking through his workshop as he made his way back to his computer. It was ironic; he had originally set out pursuing this craft with the idea that he could use it to forge his way into America. However the more he learned and the greater a master he became at this skill, the more he knew the differences between the real thing and even his best counterfeits, to the point he would trust no craftsman's work until he could sell enough to buy the genuine article.

"Thread locked again." He sighed, eyes fixed on the little padlock icon now adorning his thread. "Time to try again."

And so, Pedro, better known as John "Teddy" Wilson online, began the process he had become so very familiar with of registering another dupe account, a "spambot" as the Americans referred to them.

The same text sat at the top of his threads every time.

"BUY FAKE PASSPORTS-VISAS-US-GREENCARD-IDS etc."

Maybe one day soon he would sell enough of his counterfeits to afford himself and his mother the real thing.

He could only hope.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-87
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 3-3
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 52-39
#7
Fake.

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Fast. Fake.


Jennifer shreiked and through her papers from her workbench. She was a bit brawner than most girls; starting on the volleyball team since her freshman year - and the fast, abrupt swing from her arms shook the single light that hung above her musky garage.

You see - Jennifer was a hologram. A shell from her days spying from her former homeland. Yet her identity was lost.


She took a deep breath and consoled herself, alright Jen, you've got this. You had it RIGHT THERE in your hand, when you slipped in the... school records room? AAAGH

She only recalled The Victorians, Inc., and how they'd set her up. But she did not know why...


She scooped up the grounded papers with her volleyball-like swiftness, and tidied them up in uniform succession.


Yet she could not for the life of her analyze the memos and documents. All of them seemed wrong, and she could not fight the sick, lingering feeling - as if the true sign she needed was nowhere within the incessantly large stack.


For she had no land....


....because she was a hologram. >_>


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#9
this is cute and all but can you not copy their website links/email/etc too? It gives them the search hits they want and screws up the delete on sight policy.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#11
Quote by wallderCharles
Adrenalast Yobo edifice tip* 1: Do not over
take: it is rattling measurable to improve a practical training rgime.
This does not beggary to be many than 20-30 proceedings 3 nowadays a
week. This Adrenalast
* gives your muscles instance to recou p and grow. When grooming,
especially with weights never do much than your embody can really do.
This faculty termination in casualty to yourself and unmake your
neutral. Musculus construction tip* 2: Eat properly: fast is historic
when you teach hardened. It is also primal for reaction embody fat.
You give not be healthy to impart off that rocklike body


The Musculus Project

General Yobo looked up as the sound of measurable rattling disturbed him from his grooming. A thickset man stood at the entrance of his tent, trying unsuccessfully to remain composed while untangling a loose guyline from his glasses. "Ah, engineer Adrenalast. How goes the construction of the Musculus?"

The man shifted nervously, avoiding the general's gaze. "Our current progress is many than 20-30 proceedings."

Yobo's face darkened. "How many a week?"

"Thr- three nowadays," stammered the engineer.

"This does not beggary!" roared Yobo, his meaty hand slamming onto his desk. "Do you fail to understand the urgency of this project?"

"No sir, but th- there's only so much your embody can do!"

"I don't give a shit about my embody! There is talk of pulling our funding if we can't deliver tangible results!"

"Sir, the-"

"If this project is scrapped I will end you," growled Yobo. "I will unmake your neutral. I will unmake your wife's neutral, your parents' neutral, and the neutral of your whole family. This faculty's termination will be a casualty to yourself."

"With respect sir, the workers need instance to recoup and grow," Adrenalast explained. "There are not enough men for the job and they are overworked, especially with weights."

"They are not overworked, they are lazy! They embody fat!"

"Yes, sir."

Standing up, Yobo paced menacingly toward the stricken engineer. "Do you know why I made you chief engineer, Mr. Adrenalast? It was not because of your edifice tips. It was not because of the fact you teach hardened. I hired you because you were confident you could finish this project faster than anyone else. You are failing!"

"Well, sometimes it's not advisable to be too fast-"

"Fast is historic! I want speed, engineer! Not excuses!"

"Yes sir," Adrenalast responded weakly.

"I want you to improve a practical training regime. Make sure the workers eat properly. If we do not overtake our deadlines within the next week, you will not give healthy. Not even that rocklike body will impart you."
🙈 🙉 🙊
#12
The Legend of the 17 Coins

"Zlatan! Zlatan!!!" Forlan finds the nearest jug of water in his edgy state and splashes it upon the One.

"..."

"Zla-tan!", screams Forlan, shaking the soaked shoulders of
The One
.

Zlatan The One Ibrahimovich stirs, and with un-squinting eyes alerts Forlan to His presence. "Geez, finally! About time man, you were out cold! Okay, now listen, what I am about to tell you may seem crazy, but you just gotta bare with me here, there is no time." Forlan shuffles around flusterly, seeking within his mind the best way to communicate the foretold Mourinho Encounter for the 17 Sacred Coins of FIFA being conjured by the United Stantseniens, and the fate of the title. Exasperated, but then relieved at the exact second of the feeling, creating a feeling inexplainable to language, Forlan realizes that Zlatan has already understood.

"huh... huh... woah..." heaves the amazed Forlan. "You know... the informed Goal."

With a flicker of his legs, Zlatan ARISES. "Yes."


Quote by xiaochen
With Mourinho getting added Eric Bailly, Henrikh Mkhitaryan as well as Zlatan Ibrahimovic in order to his squad, with Paul Pogba near to completing a proceed, Forlan expects United to become title challengers.

“As soon because Jose Mourinho was handed the job, I knew he was the correct Buy Fifa 17 Coins man for Stansted United, ” Forlan informed Goal.

“They have had several seasons which their fans won't have been used in order to and it would take a trainer of Mourinho's encounter and influence to steer the club to where they are required to be.

“Manchester United looked quite a distance off winning the actual title last period and, even with Mourinho in control, I thought this would need to be a 12 months of transition on their behalf, but now I'm not so certain.
Last edited by Fat Lard at Aug 9, 2016,
#13
story time





#16
I looked at the bank draft which had said $7437. I couldn't believe my eyes. How could it be so much? Who was paying him? I had been certain that my friend could really be earning money in their spare time online, but recently I found out he has no computer, not even a smartphone, and he never leaves his house. My neighbor had done this for less than twelve months and recently paid the mortgage on their mini mansion and got a great new Lancia. Something fishy was going on, that's for sure. Why did he even buy a Lancia if he never leaves the house? Unless he is trying to wake Ctulhu from his eternal slumber. Yes...that would certainly explain the "Iä! Iä!"-chants he recites every night with his creepy dark robed cultist buddies, and the unspeakable eldritch tentacle monsters I've noticed wandering outside his mansion lately. Interesting! Getting hungry now tho think I'll order a pizza
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#17
She was a janitor for decades while working on a volunteer project that helped increase the planet's resources tenfold.
#18
Passport Man popped out of the refrigerator and rapidly lobbed passport after passport at Vance. "You let me out of evil kitchen trap!" he cried. Vance bolted around the room trying to evade the leathery onslaught. After several minutes of exchanging brutal papercuts and merciless billingsgate, two passports whizzed at lightning speed straight towards Vance's face. One razor-sharp booklet impaled Vance's forehead, the other cutting straight through his neck. Vance's head went flying out the window and landed on an amazing pair of classic Nike Air Forse 1 sneaker straight from China very nice authentic. Passport Man laughed triumphantly while scanning through local single Passport Women on super great new app called Swindler. All of a sudden, the headless body of Vance pulled his blazer zipper halfway down, and his shirt began to glow bright orange as if it were heating up. Passport Man dropped his phone and watched with slack-jawed astonishment. A couple minutes later, the zipper shot back up rapidly, and two Vance heads popped out of his neck stump, this time crispier and browner than ever. Passport Man reeled backwards from shock. Vance's final form pointed at Passport Man. "You forgot!" he declared in a thunderous, five-octave voice. "Every Vance kitchen comes with a complimentary toaster."