#1
Felt like posting another old song so I did. Let me know what you think and as always C4C. Also there is a slight variation at ~4min and I was wondering if anyone can actually hear it hahaha.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4rNMZa4eIk
And everything that once was
infinitely far
and unsayable is now
unsayable
and right here in the room.


- Franz Wright
Last edited by NougatOfficial at Feb 28, 2015,
#2
NougatOfficial,
Thank you for the reviews! Now your music: very nice guitar playing/finger picking (I can't finger-pick worth a dang). All of the melodies are quite good. The vocals are rather good and heart felt. Part of me wouldn't mind more of a studio recording, though watching you in action made it more engaging & emotional. Very good job!
#4
Your voice fits well with the song and is good on its own as well. Good fingerpicking too. The song itself is written well, but since this is a one man one guitar thing i would like to hear more variety in the sections. For example, the last section with the extended main finger picking riff being sped up would be replaced with a new progression. One that could be fingerpicked as well if you want to go for it.
Sigs are for salad tossers.
#5
Quote by BoneBroke
Your voice fits well with the song and is good on its own as well. Good fingerpicking too. The song itself is written well, but since this is a one man one guitar thing i would like to hear more variety in the sections. For example, the last section with the extended main finger picking riff being sped up would be replaced with a new progression. One that could be fingerpicked as well if you want to go for it.


There is a slight change at 4:00 minutes but it isn't too crazy of a change so I'll work on spicing it up a bit more. Thanks!

Also thanks to everyone who has commented on it!
And everything that once was
infinitely far
and unsayable is now
unsayable
and right here in the room.


- Franz Wright
#6
Love your voice man, suits the style of music.

excellent guitar playing as well, nice and clean. Lyrics are well written as well.

I think an extra progression would help add variation to this, like bonebroke said, with the outro instead of being extended and sped up, perhaps a variation of it being strummed whilst you belt out "I never want to see, your amazing ending"

It's a well written song, good job man

If you fancy C4C'n you can find one of my songs here - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1671469
#7
Thanks and I'll be happy to check out your song! Also you guys really don't hear a change at ~4 minutes?
And everything that once was
infinitely far
and unsayable is now
unsayable
and right here in the room.


- Franz Wright
Last edited by NougatOfficial at Feb 28, 2015,
#8
There's such an honesty to your guitar and voice.

Was that recorded in the doorway of an en-suite? I'd love to hear this song properly recorded with a nice electro-condenser mic and studio ambiance.

Great work
#9
Quote by andyrooj
There's such an honesty to your guitar and voice.

Was that recorded in the doorway of an en-suite? I'd love to hear this song properly recorded with a nice electro-condenser mic and studio ambiance.

Great work


Funny story it was recorded in a bathroom hahaha. I had/have no where else to record and it seemed like the best option.

I'll be sure to check out your tracks and leave a few comments some time tomorrow.
And everything that once was
infinitely far
and unsayable is now
unsayable
and right here in the room.


- Franz Wright
#10
This sounds really nice. Very gentle and smooth. I do wish a bit more variety in the progressions, but overall really really nice. Though its very different, it reminds me a bit of ROMA by Vincente Amigo. The warmth of the guitar is similar.
#11
Hey man, not too many comments I can think of, but I would just see about making this a little more melodic. There wasn't a solid hook for me, but your voice sounded nice and there was a nice mood here.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#12
Awesome fingerpicking! Kinda reminds me of Alter Bridge. Just be careful with the timing/phrasing of the vocals over the guitar at that point. Beautiful riff, though! I can hear this song being played with a whole band. I can understand the fairly limited range in vocal performance, but in another context I would think to reach some higher notes wouldn't be a bad idea! The transition between the finger picking riff and the chords seems a little odd? But that might just be me.

Nice work though, dude! Keep it up.

C4C https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=33304332#post33304332
#13
phenomenal man! picking and singing like that takes great skill. nice melodies too, as someone mentioned above I would love to hear a studio take of it. No complaints man, vocals and guitar were flawless for live play.
C4C: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1672558
#14
hi man, I like your lyrics to this track and great guitar skills too! Cant really say a bad thing about this track tbh, I do feel that you could work on that melody a touch and give it a bit more feeling your vocals are nice as well and great emotion in them! this does remind me a little of Nick Mulvey.

Please C4C my track here dude! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=33306114#post33306114
#15
what everyone else said. i guess.

vox seem like they could be stronger at time. i guess that's probably a product of recording using a webcam.

you've got a great voice but at times i heard it as unsupported (not enough air - creating pitch and tonal inconsistencies). you gotta be more confident when you sing. or more focused on what you're singing. does that make sense?

guitar work was good. nice, tasteful. really cool pattern. don't be afraid to go a bit farther with the variation stuff. that was the 1st fret to 3rd fret on the b string, right? as apposed to 1st to open previously? why not trying something like 1st fret 3rd fret 1st fret open on the first chord, then maybe (and this might be a bit tricky) replacing that note with 2nd fret e string, open e string, 3rd fret b string, open e string. or i dunno, maybe only incorporating that every second time you play the second chord. i guess a little more variety would make the variation a little more visible? er... audible, that is. or, if you're really looking for a challenge, try threading notes mimicking your lyrical lines into the finger-picking pattern. that's one of my favourite things to do (because i don't sing much). lol, thats probably not what you meant by variation but it's my 2c for what its worth.

a really beautiful song though. i liked it. keep it up.
by the way, i stole this riff.
#16
Thanks for the critique on my song!

This is awesome man! I know how hard it is to play guitar and sing at the same time, let alone fingerpicking and singing, you have my respect. The song was great, the chord progression is very moving yet original. Your voice adds a certain quality to it that makes it very emotional. Great job all around, keep doing what you're doing!