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#1
So I was out buying some groceries today after work. I had already paid and was putting the stuff I had just bought in my bag. There was a lady behind me who was hoping to buy some juice boxes, among other things, and she was just handing over her discount card to the guy behind the register. He had so far only rung up the juice boxes and was holding out his hand for the discount card, but he dropped it on the floor behind the till. Meanwhile the juice boxes were slowly sliding towards me. The woman turned away from me to put the rest of the stuff she had in her shopping cart on the till, and the guy had at this point ducked behind the till to find the card. The juice boxes had already reached the pile of groceries I still had to put in my bag and no one was watching me.

A thought struck me. I could so easily take the juice boxes and put them in my bag. No one was paying any attention to me, and the lady would likely not notice until she got home. She had a shopping cart full of stuff she was still unloading and no one could possibly notice which item was missing from them without checking the receipt. I could pack up, walk out the store, and no one would know what happened.

I didn't take the juice boxes. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing I had denied some poor kid his chance of taking a juice box with him to school the next day. I could just see the child crying tears of pure salt because he had no more liquid in his body. His lips chafed and his eyes receding in their sockets, he was sure to succumb to his dehydration any time now.

I walked home feeling ashamed of my thoughts, leaving the juice boxes behind. But the temptation was so sweet. I could have taken them so easily.


Tell me about your evil and twisted thoughts.
#2
is that some kind of metaphor?

did you not tell the lady or cashier that they'd forgotten the juice? that's almost as bad as stealing it
Eat your pheasant
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Last edited by Bladez22 at Feb 23, 2015,
#3
How do you know it was for a kid? Or that she was gonna let a kid drink it?

Maybe she went home and waterboarded some cat with that juice.
You could have saved a cat from delicious torture.
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Quote by Momentosis
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#4
No, it's not a metaphor. I was basically packing up my stuff and went 'lol juiceboxes'. I may have dramatized the story a bit.
And they hadn't forgotten the juice. The juice was the only thing the cashier had rung up so far. All her other groceries were still to come.
#5
oh okay, i thought you were behind her in the line, not about to walk off, my bad

those kinds of thoughts are common actually, they're called Negative Intrinsic thoughts or something like that. Stuff like "what if I just punched this person I've just met in the mouth?" or "what would happen if I just let go of this baby?"

I get them frequently and some of them are just hilarious
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#6
the thing I'm interested in is if that cute cashier from the other day gave you another smile?
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#7
^That was in the Blokker unfortunately, and I hardly ever need anything from there

But yeah, I have to admit that while they are often disturbing, most of these thoughts are also ridiculously funny
#8
Quote by ultimate-slash
^That was in the Blokker unfortunately, and I hardly ever need anything from there

But yeah, I have to admit that while they are often disturbing, most of these thoughts are also ridiculously funny

She will probably be fired soon given that they are letting people go there.
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#9
Well, knowing cashiers she was probably 17 or something anyway, so it's probably best not to pursue it.
#10
The worst part of this story is the fact that you have to bag your own groceries. Here in MERICA we pay kids to do that for us.
#11
You'd go to jail for rape.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
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#12
Quote by ultimate-slash
Well, knowing cashiers she was probably 17 or something anyway, so it's probably best not to pursue it.


sounds ideal
i don't know why i feel so dry
#13
Quote by Wormholes
The worst part of this story is the fact that you have to bag your own groceries. Here in MERICA we pay kids to do that for us.

Kids don't know how to bag groceries properly. Little ****ers will always do stupid shit like put bread in the bag first, and then soda on top, because they should have been aborted.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#14
The kid died of diabetes, you could have saved him.

What the hell TS !?
- - - - - - - - - - -
#15
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Kids don't know how to bag groceries properly. Little ****ers will always do stupid shit like put bread in the bag first, and then soda on top, because they should have been aborted.


Only time I've run into bad baggers is at walmart where they are all old and so damn slow. Grocery stores hire cute high school girls who like to impress older boys with their pro bagging skills.
#16
Quote by Wormholes
Only time I've run into bad baggers is at walmart where they are all old and so damn slow. Grocery stores hire cute high school girls who like to impress older boys with their pro bagging skills.

I wouldn't be impressed, I'd just despise them a little less.
Quote by Diemon Dave
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#17
That poor saver card. :-(

I always accidentally pull out my Walgreens one at the grocery store and my grocery store one at Walgreens. It's slightly awkward, but mostly just a silly mix up. I like to think it makes the cashier's day just a little more interesting.

Also, I often just use the self checkout. It's lovely. I'm a Mr. Speedy at that.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#18
I don't even need to use my cards cause they just scan their own if anyone doesn't have one. I really don't care about saving a dollar in gas per $1000 spent in store.
#19
Quote by Wormholes
I don't even need to use my cards cause they just scan their own if anyone doesn't have one. I really don't care about saving a dollar in gas per $1000 spent in store.

I save up the points, and spend them in store at Christmas. I usually manage about £60-70 worth of stuff on points.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#20
None of the places I go to do anything like that. It's just save like a penny on gas per $10 spend or something. They also make it so there's no point buying their brand stuff unless it's on sale(which you "need" a card for). Which I'm sure is normal business practice.
#23
Quote by Tempoe
cameras are always watching



Not really. Not even at big chain stores. They delete all recordings weekly and the only time they are looked at are


a. There was some huge crime commited, like someone came in with a gun.

b. someone stole alcohol or hundreds of dollars of meat. Even then as long as you don't come back to the store you are fine.

c. Someone steals medicine that is used to create meth and shit, then we have to hand over the recordings. And usually only when it's a place where that happens all the time or the authorities already are tracking someone cooking meth or something.
#24
Quote by Eastwinn
sounds ideal

In Wisconsin, you need to be 18 to sell alcohol of any kind so it's a good litmus test if they need to call someone else for a liquor scan.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#26
Quote by snipelfritz


Also, I often just use the self checkout. It's lovely. I'm a Mr. Speedy at that.


And other things...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#27
^I can't spend all day ****ing bitches. I have important drinking to do.

Using my savings card makes me feel like I'm a part of a special club. I feel loved then.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#28
Quote by snipelfritz
Also, I often just use the self checkout. It's lovely. I'm a Mr. Speedy at that.


I dislike self checkouts

It's the lack of human interaction

and the lost opportunities of stealing juice boxes

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#29
But the shorter lines are great when there is barely any registers open.

Was gonna use one yesterday but I didn't have my wallet, so no card, so I had to wait in line for like 10-15 minutes for a bag of dog food.
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#30
Quote by snipelfritz
That poor saver card. :-(

I always accidentally pull out my Walgreens one at the grocery store and my grocery store one at Walgreens. It's slightly awkward, but mostly just a silly mix up. I like to think it makes the cashier's day just a little more interesting.

I used to work at Walgreens as a cashier. People would try to hand me CVS cards at least 3 times a day.
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
#31
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM
I dislike self checkouts

It's the lack of human interaction

and the lost opportunities of stealing juice boxes

This one knows what's up

We don't actually have self checkouts here, that's some fancy stuff for the big city folks
#32
Quote by ultimate-slash
We don't actually have self checkouts here, that's some fancy stuff for the big city folks

I live in a big city, no self checkouts at any of the stores near me. My parents live in a really small city / big town, they have self checkouts. So maybe you really should be the one with self checkouts.
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
#33
Quote by snipelfritz
^I can't spend all day ****ing bitches. I have important drinking to do.

Using my savings card makes me feel like I'm a part of a special club. I feel loved then.

"What have the Romans ever done for us?"

"Teach us how to bone AND drink at the same time!"

Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#34
Quote by Wormholes
Not really. Not even at big chain stores. They delete all recordings weekly and the only time they are looked at are


a. There was some huge crime commited, like someone came in with a gun.

b. someone stole alcohol or hundreds of dollars of meat. Even then as long as you don't come back to the store you are fine.

c. Someone steals medicine that is used to create meth and shit, then we have to hand over the recordings. And usually only when it's a place where that happens all the time or the authorities already are tracking someone cooking meth or something.


I imagine the policy regarding theft and video storage and review varies by company. the company with which I have specific experience keeps video on file for 90 days and is reviewed frequently. Petty theft results in no action unless the thief is apprehended in-store, but anyone suspected of being a repeat offender is watched, and video is used to determine whether they get a tail when they enter the store. It is also used constantly to monitor internal thief (read: scumbags who work for the company instead of walk in off the street) as well as any accident claims against the company, customer or employee.

Nice avatar, btw. that movie was ****ing nuts.
Dude, I play bass. I don't get paid for anything past the 4th fret.
#35
Quote by ultimate-slash

We don't actually have self checkouts here, that's some fancy stuff for the big city folks



In a town of 5,000 we have self checkouts and touch screens to order our food at sonic. Moving on up in the world
#37
Quote by ultimate-slash
This one knows what's up

We don't actually have self checkouts here, that's some fancy stuff for the big city folks


I live in a small town and we have it lawl
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#38
Quote by ultimate-slash
Actually, I think my city has about 80,000 people in it, so something fishy is going on here guys

Why, do you want them foreign computers, comin' over here, and tukkin' yer jerbs?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#39
Seriously what the **** is up with this?

I demand self checkouts or cute girls who won't get me in trouble!
#40
self-checkouts are awesome until you get in line behind the same type of old person who still writes checks for their groceries. Then you'll be there UNTIL YOU DIE.
Dude, I play bass. I don't get paid for anything past the 4th fret.
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