#1
coming
down
frown
me
I drown

its not so simple, is it?
or is it?
i must admit it.
my head has spitted.
a guitarist artists the farthest thats losing hope almost heartless,
I'll die the day I'm artless, **** the chart list, stardust harvested.
magic in my blood, I'm ecstatic,
But I guess its tragic in a manic plastic world,
feeling something not existent, a habit?
well if you don't get it again
thats okay,
I forgive you or myself...
.
#2
Quote by ILoveGuitar07
coming
down
frown
me
I drown

its not so simple, is it?
or is it?
i must admit it.
my head has spitted.
a guitarist artists the farthest thats losing hope almost heartless,
I'll die the day I'm artless, **** the chart list, stardust harvested.
magic in my blood, I'm ecstatic,
But I guess its tragic in a manic plastic world,
feeling something not existent, a habit?
well if you don't get it again
thats okay,
I forgive you or myself...


I've been wanting so badly for written poetry to start with this whole excessive rhyming, multiple rhymes in one line, using lots of slant rhymes, thing that you see in rap music and the occasional slam poem. I have seen so many poetry magazines make it a point to say "No poems that rhyme" when requesting submissions, and it's the most inane thing ever to require that somebody not rhyme in their poem. I hate this aversion to rhyme, it's like why wouldn't you want to add that extra dimension to your writing if you have the chance to do it? Most people read silently nowadays and it's a shame because language is supposed to be rhythmic and musical, but I think even the silent word can have some appeal in itself if you make a point to try.

I like that aesthetic and you did it well. Magic/ecstatic, plastic/habit are particularly savory. To me what rhyming does is project confidence and artistry; coming up with a particularly good rhyme has always been the poet's way of showing off. I think that's why it became such a huge part of rap music. So when you do it and are ambiguous, it's a strong statement. Your lack of confidence throughout the piece, repeating questions, etc. is an interesting theme to pair with that device.

Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
Quote by Ganoosh
I've been wanting so badly for written poetry to start with this whole excessive rhyming, multiple rhymes in one line, using lots of slant rhymes, thing that you see in rap music and the occasional slam poem. I have seen so many poetry magazines make it a point to say "No poems that rhyme" when requesting submissions, and it's the most inane thing ever to require that somebody not rhyme in their poem. I hate this aversion to rhyme, it's like why wouldn't you want to add that extra dimension to your writing if you have the chance to do it? Most people read silently nowadays and it's a shame because language is supposed to be rhythmic and musical, but I think even the silent word can have some appeal in itself if you make a point to try.

I like that aesthetic and you did it well. Magic/ecstatic, plastic/habit are particularly savory. To me what rhyming does is project confidence and artistry; coming up with a particularly good rhyme has always been the poet's way of showing off. I think that's why it became such a huge part of rap music. So when you do it and are ambiguous, it's a strong statement. Your lack of confidence throughout the piece, repeating questions, etc. is an interesting theme to pair with that device.



interesting comment.......and like your signature. =)

truth is, I'm just being me and doing what I like to do....i like to create.
if its not popular or people don't like it......thats okay.

I know what you mean about wanting things to take a different direction.
I've been wanting art/music to take a different direction for a long time now.....but still it hasn't.........so I'm taking things into my own hands........I want to change it myself.
time to record and create the things that I wish were out in the music world that I just can not find anywhere else!
.
Last edited by ILoveGuitar07 at Feb 27, 2015,
#4
Quote by ILoveGuitar07
time to record and create the things that I wish were out in the music world that I just can not find anywhere else!


Yeah that's exactly what I think is so awesome about writing and making things. You get to make what you would like to see made, and sometimes you find people who are ready to see the same things but didn't even know it yet. One of my favorite lines from Emerson is "In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts".

Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black