#1
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who was bored and decided to suck it,
so he removed 'bout two ribs,
bent his head to his jibs,
got stuck and resigned with "ahh **** it"

thought this up in the shower and decided to share
anyone got any funny ones they'd like to contribute?
#4
There once was a guy named Steven,
Who read the OP and thought "what even,"
I don't care enough to finish,
Not even this sente
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#5
I wrote this in a sleep-deprived drug-induced haze a number of years ago.

So one day I sat in my room
Bored, in the middle of June
What I thought would be nice
Would be to add spice
And help chase away this foul gloom

So I thought to myself, 'but what
Could be enough fun to shut
To door to the dull
And end this sad lull
And get me back out of this rut?

I was tired of watching TV
And there was no place that I had to be
So I took up my pen,
Pondered, and then
The answer came so suddenly

I must have been blind not so see
The solution I now saw clearly
To write a limerick
Would sure do the trick
And make for a quick blog entry
#6
There once was a young man named Shaun
Who had a great liking for porn
He'd grab the tissue and lotion
and make a quick motion
and keep himself busy 'til dawn
#7
There once was a place called the Pit
where many a dumb post was writ.
With nothing to do
they each took a poo
And then they took turns eating shit.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#8


There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,

and found that his dream had come true!
Free Ali
Free Lard
#9
There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
#10
There once was a user named Chris
Who was 'bout to receive a mad diss.
His clothes look like hell.
If you gave him a smell,
You'd swear he was covered with piss.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#11
there once was a man at his desk
who desperately needed some rest
he worked really slow,
but his boss didn't know,
and even exclaimed, "You're the best!"
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#12
There once was a user named Bryce.
He only has kissed a girl twice.
He wanted to score
and went to a *****.
When she saw him she doubled the price.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#13
at work there's a guy who is fat
he'd lose his breath just like that
he'd huff and he'd puff,
like the air wasn't enough,
just to come over for a chat
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#14
the guy whose desk is behind mine
has a laugh like a pathetic whine
i restrain my own jokes,
for fear that he chokes,
yet he does it to himself all the time
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#15
There once was a user named Mike
To whom everyone took a dislike
He asked out a lady
But he seemed so damn shady
She said "I just remembered I'm a dyke"
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#16
There once was a user named Brian
whose username always was lying
His concept of meter
would stutter and peter.
He left this limerick battle crying.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#17
Quote by snipelfritz
There once was a user named Chris
Who was 'bout to receive a mad diss.
His clothes look like hell.
If you gave him a smell,
You'd swear he was covered with piss.

There once was a user named snip
Who recently got the pink slip.
So he sits on his arse
Playing drums at some bars-
A whole night, just a twelve dollar tip.
Free Ali
Free Lard
#18
the management here is a joke
sometimes i laugh like a bloke
they call countless meetings,
and waste much time bleating,
i know not how everyone copes
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#19
Quote by chrismendiola
There once was a user named snip
Who recently got the pink slip.
So he sits on his arse
Playing drums at some bars-
A whole night, just a twelve dollar tip.

BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#20
The cremation was about to start
When an old man initiated a fart
Confusion made people follow his lead
Laughing so hard that they all peed
A will has never been this thorough
#21
Vonnegut, anyone?

There was a young man from Stamboul
Who soliloquized thus to his tool:
"You took all my wealth
And you ruined my health
And now you wont pee, you old fool!"
Quote by ElMaco
My last pay check was £0 working 0 hours. I can't believe how easy it was
#22
There once was a user named Foster
He had a sweet girl but tossed her
Took up her sister
And gave her a blister
And on a walk he purposely lost her
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
Last edited by SFosterS at Feb 27, 2015,
#23
There once was an ErikLensherr,
For whom posting spam was fun, yeah!
He possessed a dwarf phallus,
Responded to Fallas,
And JamSessionFreak was his pet bear.

Then there was young snipelfritz,
Fondly endeared 'nippletitz',
He came from Milwaukee,
Dreamt of being a disc jockey,
But instead played with bands in the skits.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#24
DisarmGoliath is dumb
His dick is the size of his thumb
He speaks of my phallus
With incredible malice
But it's still good enough for his mum
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#26
Quote by ErikLensherr
DisarmGoliath is dumb
His dick is the size of his thumb
He speaks of my phallus
With incredible malice
But it's still good enough for his mum

Free Ali
Free Lard
#27
Quote by ErikLensherr
DisarmGoliath is dumb
His dick is the size of his thumb
He speaks of my phallus
With incredible malice
But it's still good enough for his mum


When I read Disarm's limerick it was so embarrassingly bad that I actually felt the same way that I would feel if I was with a guy and he pulled it out and it was three inches, so if his limerick is any indication I would say that your limerick is accurate.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#28
bumping because

there once was a man from socket
who went for a ride in a rocket
the rocket went bang,
his balls went clang and
his dick ended up in his pocket.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day