The device you'll love soo much, you can't wait to get your hands on it

#1
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/27/charge-your-phone-by-um-wanking.html

Indeed, no one need ever leave the house again thanks to Pornhub’s Wankband, a wearable that powers up your phone with each self-loving stroke. The bracelet is embedded with a weighted valve that measures each movement up and down, generating energy it then stores for use on your charge-less electronics.


Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#2
We gotta buy that in bulk. Every Pit user benefits
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#3
SHouldn't it be no one needs to go home cause we can just jerk it on a bench to charge our phones?
#4
how did i know this would be something masturbatory before even clicking the thread
pinga
#5
"What are you doing, boy?"
"Just charging my phone, officer"
"Well, carry on, thought you were masturbating"
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#6
Quote by icanhasgodmode
We gotta buy that in bulk. Every Pit user benefits

I think we've solved the worlds future energy problems in one quick stroke.
#8
embedded with a weighted valve that measures each movement up and down, generating energy it then stores for use on your charge-less electronics


so people with big dicks will have no trouble charging their phone and people with small dicks need to keep wanking?
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#9
Quote by BjarnedeGraaf
so people with big dicks will have no trouble charging their phone and people with small dicks need to keep wanking?

Just another gross example of big dick privilege.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#10
is this for real?
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#13
Quote by primus182
a fuc**king Fender telecaster american WHITE LEFTY



What even is this post? Are you trying to start a new in thread in a current thread?
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
How do you prepare tea?

Quote by theogonia777
thrown into the boston harbor

Quote by Crofty89
Only if you boil the ocean first



JUST BOUGHT SIKTH DEATH OF A DEAD DAY ALBUM FROM THE US AND IT CAME WITH THE 6 YEAR OLD SIGNED POSTER (30/4/12) WIN
#14
It really is optimal for the pit, because it should work while playing guitar too. Just sucks for them sweep-picking f*ggots because alternate picking charges your phone much more effectively.
Quote by Anthropocentric
Your balls. You lost the right to them. Hand them over.


Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
What kind of person needs to have a Flying V shoved up their vagina?



Join The 7-String Legion! Now!
#15
will the average person be able to top off before getting off?
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#16
now it's a race to fap fast enough to keep your phone charged while you look at porn on your phone.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#17
Quote by henrihell
It really is optimal for the pit, because it should work while playing guitar too. Just sucks for them sweep-picking f*ggots because alternate picking charges your phone much more effectively.


Alternate picking=/=sweep picking.

Two totally different things for two totally different sounds/techniques
ayy lmao