So, let me explain the question...

When I was a little younger (probably up until I was 16 actually) I took great pride in being able to crawl though really tight places - between the rungs of a ladder for example.
It just so happens that I have this wooden stepladder in my kitchen, as my housemate is quite short and needs it to reach the upper cabinets.
In my (now apparent) ignorance, I decided I could probably still fit between the steps of the ladder.
The wooden stepladder that once lived in my kitchen is now buried in a garbage container.

Do you ever have moments like these?
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.

i was at the Civil War memorial in Gettysburg a few times.

one time i was sitting on the edge of one of the monuments/statues looking down at the ground 10 feet below me.

i decided i should jump off.

so i slid my ass off the edge straight down and landed on my feet.

immediate severe pain in both my ankles.
solid thread, would read again

and yeah all the time. for instance a few days back in uni i decided i could throw my water bottle from the very back of the classroom onto my seat which was at least ten rows down. it didnt work out and it bounced off of the desk and hit my m8 in the head

tbh it was kinda hilarious but the thought process behind it was not one of my greatest moments

Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
me and a friend stuck a bunch of tape to fly paper, then stuck the fly paper to a ceiling fan. we covered the tape/fly paper amalgam in axe, lit it on fire, and then turned the fan on when we were like 14
One day I was over at a friend's house after school. We were in his backyard playing with gasoline and lighters. His mom didn't come home until about 5:30 or so everyday, so we had plenty of time to do all sorts of things we weren't supposed to. Having done this pretty much everyday, we had a bit of experience and felt pretty comfortable with what we were doing. (yep lol)

This particular day, my friend was pouring a little bit of gas onto the ground about 4 feet from the side of his house. There was no grass there, so we could get a bit of a puddle there and see what's going on. He tried a match and dropped it in- nothing. Tried a bit more gas- nothing.

So then, he takes the jerry can and pours a shitload into the puddle. He tries that.


The flames were about 10 feet tall, and right up against the side of the house. I had a hose ready to go, but it took about a minute or two to put out because gasoline floats on top of water. The siding (particleboard X90 type for those who know what that is) had some scorch marks, but it wasn't too bad and just looked dirty. Actually, I think we would have been fine if the gas lit the first time- the fire wouldn't have been big enough to reach the house with the flames we were used to.

We were both terrified, so from then on we stuck to lighting fires in the middle of the backyard, on the grass instead lol.

I was 10 years old.
Quote by Jesus
Gaza Strip- home. At least it was before I fucked ereythang up...
remember that time when Bret got his head stuck in the chair? Oh such a bret thing to do.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

Speaking of fires, one time me and my friends found a dirty-looking bra hanging on a tree branch.

We decided to make a campfire and burn it, and after much anticipation, finally it was time...
As it started burning, it released one of the most horrible stenches I've ever experienced.

We made fires a couple times after that, and one of those times my friend lit his boot on fire when he tried to put it out (his dad was coming, and he probably wasn't too keen on having a fire close to his front door).
Speaking of fire related incidents, when I was younger (one year younger) I was at a mates howse for his birthday. He decided he wanted to try making Hadoukens. (Blue Curacao, vodka, everclear + FIRE!)

So he mixes the shots lights them and then all of a sudden realises that he's poured vodka into a plastic shot glass and lit it on fire. So he's rushing everyone "Quick drink em before the plastic melts"

So a mate and I grab one, and because we're rushing blow into the glass, which spreads burning liquid across the tables plastic cover. I then drink whats left of the shot (now extinguished) out of the half-melted plastic receptacle (because I'm a dumbass) and then try to put out the table fire, with my lungs.

It's funny now, but I still wonder whether I'll get cancer because of it

Also, I did a similar thing in chemistry class, where I over-boiled a test-tube of ethanol, so it spurted out the top and started burning on the table-top. Luckily the teacher wasn't around to see it.
Made a bonfire and like a idiot put a paint can in it. The paint can exploded and landed on my neighbors roof. I had to climb up and put it out.
when i was 2 i pushed my thigh up against a nail gun and pulled the trigger
i don't know why i feel so dry
oh my gosh, just earlier this morning i turned the coffee pot on

without any water in it!
actually i have a better story.

i was making mac n cheese at a friends house, and decided to prep the butter pan by turning the heat to 11 while i was doing something else

when i put the butter in the pan, whoosh went the butter and i almost caught my friend's house on fire.
Quote by snipelfritz


I was just thinking how this was extra humorous because I was imagining TS as a bear getting stuck and then I saw your post
Last edited by USCENDONE BENE at Mar 8, 2015,
Tried to burn magnesium metal over a Bunsen... with a heat proof mat in between Took the teacher and I 40 minutes to realise why it wasn't burning.
when i was 12 or 13, i came out of my room in one of these weird outbursts of energy i get that lead to me annoying family members or doing something stupid.

so i took a big ******* knife out and started swinging it around like a katana or something until my leg caught it.

thought i stabbed myself in the leg, but Levi's jeans saved my life.

another time when i was around 8 or 9, i took my dad's cane and started twirling it around like some kind of fighting staff thingy and ended up thrusting it straight up into one of the light fixtures on the ceiling fan and broke it, raining bits of glass all over the living room.

my dad then calls us from near the back door that we're leaving to get something at home depot. my brother and i just looked at each other and silently agreed that we wouldn't say anything.

so we go to home depot and come back. my dad finds the broken fixture and glass all over the floor.

i spent a good 15 minutes pretending i didn't know how it happened before i finally confessed.

my dad says "i'm not even mad that you broke it. i'm more annoyed that you didn't tell me and just let me take a trip to home depot where i could have bought a new one."
I used to pick my nose and eat the boogers up to the age of like five.

I remember this like it was yesterday: One day one of my kindergarten teachers told me not to do it anymore, mid-pick. I had no idea there was something wrong with what I was doing and ended up putting the booger under my desk. It felt so strange not to eat it because it was so natural up until that point.

I actually remember liking the taste of boogers and enjoying the feel of it as I used my two front teeth to nibble on it.

Sadly, this is a true story.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.