#1
She woke up in the backseat and asked me where we were
All I could say was "going nowhere fast"
Truth be told I didn't know, but we were on the run
Too strung out to read the signs we passed

We held up some convenient store a couple counties back
Stole some old Toyota and headed west
The habits I'd fallen into had taken better men than me
I couldn't think and I sure as hell couldn't rest

Howl at the moon
The Coyote cries
Catch me if you can
I'll tell you all my lies
Howl at the moon
I'll never die
Take me away
Don't ask me why I'm here...

Ninety days in jail I'd served not quite a year before
To this day I don't know where I went wrong
Made uneasy small-talk with the filling station clerk
A few dollars in the tank and we were gone

Racing down these city streets, my eyes began to close
She jumped into the front seat and grabbed the wheel
It was then that we decided we could probably use the rest
No idea the law was on our heels

Howl at the moon
The Coyote cries
Catch me if you can
I'll tell you all my lies
Howl at the moon
I'll never die
Take me away
Don't ask me why I'm here...

We holed up in some motel that'd been vacated for years
Busted down the door and closed the shades
Lying in the darkness, we thought we had it licked
We didn't even have to worry about a maid

Early that next morning we heard a voice outside
A megaphone demanding we give in
I reached into the nightstand and grabbed my .45
Peered out the window and new I couldn't win

"Come out reaching for the sky, we promise we won't shoot
But this has gone on for far too long"
I tucked the gun away and I kissed Irene goodbye
Stepped outside whistling her favorite song

Blinded by the sunlight as they told me not to move
Sheriff said I'd be locked up for some time
Not about to let them take me, I reached for my gun
The last thing I remember is the sky

Howl at the moon
The Coyote cries
Catch me if you can
I'll tell you all my lies
Howl at the moon
I'll never die
Take me away
Don't ask me why I'm not here...
#2
Hey! This was a good read and an interesting new version of the kind of classic modern-western outlaw story. The only problem I could point out to you is that some of your imagery is a little bit lacking, and I think it would become a much more interesting read if you focused on the old cliche "show, don't tell" when re-writing this or beginning your next piece.

Here's a line for example, that I thought could have had so much potential if you did more with it:

A megaphone demanding we give in

This moment when you wake up to a megaphone outside your motel door is probably terrifying and surprising, but those words don't really do anything to convey that. What does the megaphone sound *like*? It can be a metaphor or a simile, or you can just use a different verb other than "demanding", which is very matter of fact. There are ways you could describe the sound of the megaphone that might give the reader a more definite feeling of how Coyote is feeling as the cops are yelling at him outside his door. I would go through and think about how you can represent the verbs in the piece a little bit more vividly.

Good work!
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black