#1
https://soundcloud.com/thiscountsforeverything/tip-of-my-tongue

Yesterday the dawn broke like an earthquake.
I rolled over and went back to bed.
No one told me what I has at stake,
so I lost my head.

I never knew how quickly everything changes
Now I'm forced to live with this regret
I'm sinking swimming and i can't turn the pages
i'm hanging by a thread

What I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue, you know
what I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue

lonlieness is my latest love
she doesn't give me room to breathe
she has the highest view from above
and never strays from me

What I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue, you know
what I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue
But sometimes secrets are better kept
behind the walls of
bated
breath
so what i want to say stays
on the tip of my tongue

my broken words may never be found
my speech is slurred just damaged sound
i'm going to have to live, to live with what i've done
the truth live and dies on my lips
locked somewhere tight beneath my skin
i'm going to have to live, to live with what i've done

What I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue, you know
what I want to say... is on the tip of my tongue,
the tip of my tongue
But sometimes secrets are better kept
behind the walls of
bated
breath
so what i want to say stays
on the tip of my tongue
#3
As I listen: Very tight intro sound. The backing vocals make the verse super-full, very well used.

I think at 1:08, you have a little spot where you could let some of the extra vocal tracks shine. Either that, or you should have some sort of transitional fill or fade-in to the chorus.

At 1:59 you have another section that could be used to transition; I think a higher, ascending vocal part could repeat "never strays from me" and hold/build off of it to bring in the chorus.

I like the build-up to the distortion, and the change is very welcome. I think once you get to the second distorted section "my broken words" I think you could have a little more going on; some held out vocals, or maybe a single-note piano melody. I really like the change in feel/groove here, and the way it becomes more active, but I think it could be stronger if there were more tracks contributing to the energetic vibe.


This is very, very well-mixed, and I love all the extra vocals you use.


C4C? Links are in my sig.