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#1
I have to watch my nephew for half a day. He's 3 months old and can't do shit. Give me ideas what to do that makes it enjoyable for the both us?

Star Wars references are appreciated as he is a young skywalker.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#2
Draw eyebrows on him in marker pen



the only amusing thing about babies

kids only get bearable when they're 4-5 imo, when they're actually concious
Eat your pheasant
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#3
Just watch TV or something and make sure the baby doesn't hurt itself. I'm sure they would also appreciate the occasional funny face or baby-talk.


Quote by Bladez22

kids only get bearable when they're 4-5 imo, when they're actually concious



**** no. when they can walk around and talk they become total assholes.
#5
Quote by Pastafarian96
hypnotise him to sleep for that amount of time

How does this work?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#6
Just put them down for a nap. Or put them in an area with toys and then watch tv and go on the computer. Checking in every few minutes to make sure the thing is still alive.
#7
Quote by Wormholes
Just put them down for a nap. Or put them in an area with toys and then watch tv and go on the computer. Checking in every few minutes to make sure the thing is still alive.

He is too young to play on his own.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#10
Quote by Wormholes
Then just put him within arms reach of his chewtoys.

Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#12
get out of it any way you can.

infants scare the shit out of me. it's like, if i trip and knock over the carriage/car seat/stroller i might kill them. D:

and when they start crying i don't even know where to begin.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#14
Quote by Fat Lard
snapchat you breastfeeding him

mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#15
Just watch some tv or browse the pit while holding him or something

Unless he starts crying
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Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#16
I hope someone leaves me with their baby some day just so I can get them into Black Sabbath at the earliest age possible.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#17
Quote by snipelfritz
I hope someone leaves me with their baby some day just so I can get them into Black Sabbath at the earliest age possible.

One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#18
i actually have a goddaughter (because i didn't know how to say no without feeling like a dick when the parents asked me) and i asked her mother if i could buy her a Nirvana children's lullaby cover album.

she looked at me like i had 10 heads.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#19
Quote by jakesmellspoo
i actually have a goddaughter (because i didn't know how to say no without feeling like a dick when the parents asked me) and i asked her mother if i could buy her a Nirvana children's lullaby cover album.

she looked at me like i had 10 heads.

I guess start them (I mean the parents) out slow with They Might Be Giants' kids albums.

Doesn't the pit hate babies?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#20
Isn't a godparent like the person the parents think should raise their kid if they die?

Always wondered if that was something the state actually cared about or not.
Never felt like looking it up.
One of the third friendliest users
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Quote by Momentosis
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Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Mar 18, 2015,
#21
I think godparent might be a whole legal thing, might actually be called something else idk.


As hard as it may be to believe everyone who's seen me around a baby thinks I'd be a great father.
#22
nah, godparents are a Catholic thing. i had to swear to uphold the light of Christ and lead her to salvation or some shit. (don't take this the wrong way, pls. i'm not trying to make a mockery of anyone's religion, i just kind of told myself that i'd be like another uncle to her because i'm not religious)

i really need to visit soon. i haven't been around much and she probably doesn't remember me anymore.

it does feel kind of good to have passed on some of my favorite children's books to her, though. She loves my old copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends and the other Shel Silverstein books i gave her.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#23
I have a godfather which is kinda the reason I always wondered (Mom's side was catholic, so makes sense that it's a catholic thing) She never talked about it and I never learned anything about Catholicism though.
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Quote by Momentosis
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#24
yeah, same with my godparents. (oh and my godfather is actually the father of my goddaughter, so that made me feel a bit obligated to say yes, too)

neither of them ever really did anything religious with me. they were just like a really cool non-blood aunt and uncle. used to take me to do all kinds of cool stuff when i was younger.

godfather actually bought me all kinds of gifts my parents hated. slingshots, pocket knives.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#25
i would say watch movies with him that meant a lot to you when you were around that age and still have a special place in your mind. he'll probably have similar reactions.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#27
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i would say watch movies with him that meant a lot to you when you were around that age and still have a special place in your mind. he'll probably have similar reactions.

it's 3 months old. it doesn't have a mind.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#28
Quote by jakesmellspoo
yeah, same with my godparents. (oh and my godfather is actually the father of my goddaughter, so that made me feel a bit obligated to say yes, too)

neither of them ever really did anything religious with me. they were just like a really cool non-blood aunt and uncle. used to take me to do all kinds of cool stuff when i was younger.

godfather actually bought me all kinds of gifts my parents hated. slingshots, pocket knives.

That sounds cool, I never even met him, and he didn't even send me any knifes
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
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#29
The kid's three months old. Whatever you do, it'll be boring.
Free Ali
Last edited by chrismendiola at Mar 18, 2015,
#30
Quote by jakesmellspoo
it's 3 months old. it doesn't have a mind.

oh shit i thought it was 3 years

yeah 3 months =
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#31
you can help him figure out how to move his legs lmao
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#32
smoke some weed and get really baked.

just feed the kid first and let him watch some cartoons.

hell, try teaching him how to talk?
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#33
what a dummy
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#34
I would read him stories, talk to him, just do my own thing but involve him in some way. If you're cooking something bring him to the ******* so he can see what you're doing. It will be much less boring for both of you and he might learn something from it. Babies are people too, regardless of what some people here seem to think.
cat
#35
A better answer
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#37
Your life will be officially over.

Hopefully the kid will sleep.
But you probably aren't that lucky.

Playing "Lets swallow the stuff under the sink" isn't the best game to play, despite what others may tell you.

If he cries, feed him.
If that doesn't work, it may be diaper change time.
If that doesn't work, then you can become a duet.

And he's 3 months old?
He poops, sleeps, and eats. In that order.
Thats 100% of his schedule.

I used to baby sit my GF's, daughter's son once in awhile
You have any other questions?
#39
He probably isn't familiar with you and will cry his lungs out the entire time. Have his mom show you how to hold him properly, supporting his head etc... so you can maybe rock him in a rocking chair, some kind of slow and steady motion works magic (unless he is hungry, has to burp, or dropped a deuce.)
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#40
You live in the Netherlands so take it to a sex show and then hire a prostitute for it. It's never to early to learn about the birds and the bees.
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