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14 61%
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Voters: 23.
#1
On the way home from uni, a mid-20's looking man asked me if I could spare some change for a train ticket, because he was desperate to attend a Magistrate's court that afternoon, and didn't have the money to get to where he needed to go.

I felt bad for the guy because he did look genuinely stressed out and worried, even mentioning that he had asked dozens of people already and nobody has helped him. But I chose to say no.

I do feel guilty about saying no, but the guy had no proof that what he was saying was true. There was nothing to say that he wasn't just lying about the whole thing, and he was really an opportunistic and manipulative thief, who would steal my wallet the moment I got it out of my pocket. I've actually seen this happen to some poor charitable bastard on the exact same street this guy was begging me. And it has caused me to be very cynical towards the needy in general ever since.

Was it okay that I said no? Is it reasonable to expect people to prove that their story is genuine, even if they seem genuinely desperate? Is it even practical to do so?
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#3
If I have money to spare then I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I will almost never pull out my wallet in front of them though. Like say I have no money then come back with bill in hand saying I found it in a different pocket or something.

If I really need the money then I'll keep it but I try to be generous to people who might actually need it.
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brot pls
#4
dont be a **** mang
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#5
Quote by BladeSlinger
If I have money to spare then I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I will almost never pull out my wallet in front of them though. Like say I have no money then come back with bill in hand saying I found it in a different pocket or something.

If I really need the money then I'll keep it but I try to be generous to people who might actually need it.

Yeah, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt too, but seeing that poor guy get robbed for his act of kindness still pisses me off to no end. I hope that thief dies in a fire.

I suppose for next time, I should keep a £ in my back pocket, so I don't need to take my wallet out.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
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Shindeiru



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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Mar 23, 2015,
#6
Quote by BladeSlinger
If I have money to spare then I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I will almost never pull out my wallet in front of them though. Like say I have no money then come back with bill in hand saying I found it in a different pocket or something.

If I really need the money then I'll keep it but I try to be generous to people who might actually need it.


Pretty much this. I give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time, although in my case I've never had people come up and ask me. I've seen people in the city sitting on the streets while on my way to sporting events or concerts or whatever, and I try to have a dollar in hand before I get to them.
#7
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Yeah, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt too, but seeing that poor guy get robbed for his act of kindness still pisses me off to no end.

I suppose for next time, I should keep a £ in my back pocket, so I don't need to take my wallet out.

charity is always good but you do have to watch out for yourself. I've had a couple people stop me when I was leaving a store and ask for gas money because they were out. I said all I had was my card so I could drive off and actually get my wallet out. If someone wanted to be a dick and rob me then getting my wallet out while in my car would be a good chance. People on the side of the road are easier cause you can get money out beforehand.
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brot pls
#8
should've asked him what court it was, the courts here never make you attend one far away for a laugh

as for that kind of thing, I'd like to think that everyone like that is genuine, I never want to be so cynical as to believe that anyone asking for help is a liar and out to get me

Had a lad do a similar thing to me, but asking for some change for a bus. We were in a bus station, and I actually did have a few quid spare which I gave him, and lo and behold he actually got on the bus and did the appreciative wave as it pulled away. But keep in mind it was midday in a busy bus station, so I felt pretty safe in doing so

I always go with my gut, if I get a weird vibe then I bail asap. Obviously a lot of stuff factors in, like time of day, where you are ect
Last edited by Bladez22 at Mar 23, 2015,
#9
you aren't obligated, especially when there's risk to you i would say. but you definitely should if you can and there's not much to lose other than a little bit of money you can spare if you ask me
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#11
I help strangers or I don't. Depends on if I am actually able to help without it being an inconvenience.


I don't need to look for justification.
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#12
Quote by behind_you
i'll help out strangers but not in the giving them money sort of way

Always willing to give a hand, eh?
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#13
Quote by BladeSlinger
charity is always good but you do have to watch out for yourself. I've had a couple people stop me when I was leaving a store and ask for gas money because they were out. I said all I had was my card so I could drive off and actually get my wallet out. If someone wanted to be a dick and rob me then getting my wallet out while in my car would be a good chance. People on the side of the road are easier cause you can get money out beforehand.

Yeah I see what you mean. Unfortunately the Liverpudlian stereotype of the working class being a bunch of thieves isn't an inaccurate one.
Quote by Bladez22
should've asked him what court it was, the courts here never make you attend one far away for a laugh

as for that kind of thing, I'd like to think that everyone like that is genuine, I never want to be so cynical as to believe that anyone asking for help is a liar and out to get me

Had a lad do a similar thing to me, but asking for some change for a bus. We were in a bus station, and I actually did have a few quid spare which I gave him, and lo and behold he actually got on the bus and did the appreciative wave as it pulled away. But keep in mind it was midday in a busy bus station, so I felt pretty safe in doing so

I always go with my gut, if I get a weird vibe then I bail asap. Obviously a lot of stuff factors in, like time of day, where you are ect

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



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#14
The change thing I typically don't do since the money is better given to charity. Although, I did give like $0.75 recently to a guy since he was actually asking me to buy him something in the store.

Generally, being nice to strangers is good. A guy helped my put air in my tire the other day. It gave me warm fuzzy feels.
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#17
I didn't know Guthrie Govan was a comedian.
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#18
Quote by behind_you
bestBear pls

I didn't mean to imply you give handjobs to the homeless if that's what you're thinking

No, I didn't. I'm sorry
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#19
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
There was nothing to say that he wasn't just lying about the whole thing, and he was really an opportunistic and manipulative thief, who would steal my wallet the moment I got it out of my pocket.
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#20
I don't give people money unless they're putting on a nice show, like this one old Chinese man back in Queens who plays the erhu on the subway.

If somebody pulls that "I don't have money for x thing" that's just bad planning mang sorry.
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#21
Quote by ErikLensherr
I don't give people money unless they're putting on a nice show, like this one old Chinese man back in Queens who plays the erhu on the subway.


See, most of the people asking for money around here have a shitty acoustic with 5 strings that they can't form a chord on. Just smashing away on open strings like it was epic.


Old dude with an erhu?


That = take all my money
Quote by zgr0826
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#22
i wouldn't beat yourself up over not giving a guy some change.

it's not like you were a dick about it like some of my family or like Michael Jordan supposedly is about tipping.

i'll usually throw some change if someone asks and i have it (not literally throw it. you know what i mean) unless i'm in a rush or something.

i think i'm a little bit too nice though, but i genuinely like helping people when i can, so...
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#23
I bought a homeless guy food once and then he wouldn't leave me alone. He'd always ask for money every time he saw me.
One time a guy asked for money to buy food right after I walked out of a takeaway. I offered him my meal but he refused.

You're not obliged to give them anything. It just makes them feel like they have the right to exploit you.
#24
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
See, most of the people asking for money around here have a shitty acoustic with 5 strings that they can't form a chord on. Just smashing away on open strings like it was epic.


Old dude with an erhu?


That = take all my money

street musicians are my weakness. like I can't pay any attention to them or I want to give them money. I had to really control myself in Seattle.

don't know what it is. It could be the shittiest musician ever but I'd still want to kind of give them money.
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#25
Quote by BladeSlinger
street musicians are my weakness. like I can't pay any attention to them or I want to give them money. I had to really control myself in Seattle.

don't know what it is. It could be the shittiest musician ever but I'd still want to kind of give them money.


I mean, if you play an instrument, I think some people feel a sort of kinship when they see another person playing as well. Especially if they're struggling. Sometimes I think if things didn't turn out well, that could have easily been me so I feel some sympathy for street musicians for sure.
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#26
nah, I give out to the disabled here begging because there is no government support for them, the able bodied, no.
#27
Quote by Tempoe
nah, I give out to the disabled here begging because there is no government support for them, the able bodied, no.

What about mental disabilities that aren't clearly visible?

but yea, I'll give money to a musician because it might mean new strings or something to keep their instrument going.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#28
Outside of Boise, panhandling in Idaho is a rather passive activity. Even in Boise, the active panhandler is so super rare, you're almost surprised when you stumble across one. Typically, people just get a piece of cardboard and write a pathetic and brief story and sit on a corner. They say the same stuff: "Traveling, out of gas." "Hard times, need work." I often direct them to the nearest staffing agency, where you can get paid by the day for doing stuff like clean-up on construction sites or parks. Twin Falls is only about 5 miles across, and even without gas, they can hike over there, earn $9/hour, and be on their merry way by sundown.

These people typically do not get money from me. They're sitting...with a sign. They're not even trying. Shit, collect cans or something. Do SOMETHING.

I spent several months in Phoenix over the last couple years and there, I've given quite a few folks my spare change or a couple bucks. These guys I've watched rove the parking lots of shopping centers, asking people for money, and I see them walk away dejected. Then they get to me, and the question is almost always, "Man, can I have like 80 cents? I'm just shy of bus fare and the bus is gonna stop in like 15 minutes. I guess nobody carries change anymore."

That guy gets a couple bucks. I dunno, maybe he does it every night and hasn't paid for public transit in years. But at least I see him trying and getting shot down. And what's two bucks? I got two bucks.

Life is tough and we all hit rough patches. But my sympathy dries up fast if you won't help yourself.
Dude, I play bass. I don't get paid for anything past the 4th fret.
#29
I always have a chain wallet. Sure it could be stolen still but it makes it much harder.
Some have friends....

... others have guitars....


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Thought you'd like to know is all.


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#30
I probably would've given him some cash if I had some. I don't ever carry cash though.
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#31
I still feel bad than when I was at Captain D's this guy asked me to buy him a sandwich and my aunt answered for me before I could say anything with a "No" and then he walked away

I should have still bought him a sandwich. He like stood beside the line to order for like the rest of the time we were there.


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#33
I don't carry change on me unless it's for transit.

On the off chance that I do have any on me and I'm heading home after a show/game I usually just give it to any of the people asking for it.

What gets to me are the people who open a door to the train station and have a cup for change. Especially when it's the door closest to the place I'm headed. I WANT to take that door, but sometimes my conscience can't take it and I go to the other door and open it myself. Other times when I've had change I have caved in and given it to them.
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Last edited by RGallagherFan at Mar 23, 2015,
#34
i once met a stranger on the beach in algiers. it was a hot day. a very hot day. the glare from the sun reflecting off the sand and the water was unbearable. my forehead especially was hurting me, all the veins in it throbbing under the skin. my eyes were blinded behind a curtain of tears and salt. all i could feel were the cymbals of sunlight crashing on my forehead.
banned
Last edited by deadsmileyface at Mar 23, 2015,
#35
Quote by BladeSlinger
What about mental disabilities that aren't clearly visible?


Yeah, I know who most of the mentally challenged people are in this small town, again they get no assistance from government, so I do help them out if I know they are good people.

If I don't know, at least I don't feel guilty
#36
I don't know what it depends on. Sometimes I'll have change in my pocket when I'm in the city. Sometimes when someone asks me for some I'll say yes, sometimes no. Maybe it depends on what my first instinct is when they talk to me.

If I ask them for directions and they ask me for change, I'll definitely give them some
#37
I just go with my gut on things like that. There have been times I gave someone change or a couple of bucks, and other times I told them "sorry, I don't have any money on me right now". In those cases I think that whatever feels right is the right thing to do, and anything from the location, to their demeanor, to the time of day, or even just getting a bad vibe can effect that.
#39
Quote by sashki
I bought a homeless guy food once and then he wouldn't leave me alone. He'd always ask for money every time he saw me.
One time a guy asked for money to buy food right after I walked out of a takeaway. I offered him my meal but he refused.

You're not obliged to give them anything. It just makes them feel like they have the right to exploit you.


This actually reminds me of a time I was on vacation; I was walking with my buddy back to his apartment with some leftovers from Chili's. A homeless guy asked for them and I gave it to him without really thinking about it. He said thanks and left me alone after that.

tl;dr I think every situation is gonna be different so just because one guy was an asshole/thief doesn't mean they all are. And of course the opposite is also true.
#40
I try not to let their reasoning infuence my descision too much. If they want a dollar or two, I'll probably give it. Not like I'm losing an arm or a leg.

Granted, if I have reason to be sceptical like that, I'm probably going to hold on real tight to my wallet when I do.
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