#1
you poke holes in my theories
for the fun of it
and with laser precision, somehow
yet undiscovered.

what i pine over, it lays
mostly dead, decaying
into purple slush, which
puddles and is stepped in 
accidentally.


		( all this agency
				for what?)

and our manners become less prepossessing
and we relax into old age
and it becomes interminable
and i am a single candle 
burning low, 
casting soot everywhere;


exactly what you said.


sorry to mods for posting a lot this week.
#2
I feel like you are trying too hard with this. I really like your sense of rhythm and metaphors, but it's lost in the pretentiousness of the piece as a whole. But thats just my opinion. I hope to read more from you! 6/10
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96