It's been a busy year and not a lot of song-writing. Just been jotting down ideas here and there when I get the chance.

This is something a bit different to my typical style of writing - less metal.

It's not finished, although I don't have long to go with it, but I'm not keeping the transition between the first chorus and second verse. I need to work on a way of bridging those two sections.
rock 413 v4.gp5
Last edited by Seb1uk at Apr 13, 2015,
Very cool, I like it alot. If this was recorded with real instruments I would pay money for it. Reminds me of Protest the Hero.
Pretty standard Seb1uk song, with that I mean it's good as usual. DO you by any chance listen to ttng? Or Chon?

The verse is kinda strange, like the 7/4 feels natural and all but the two guitars feel very disconnected. It's almost like a short solo, I don't really know if that's what you were going for. The bridge feels more like a verse than the verse does.

The rest is good. I like the change to Intro, feels fresh or something. Very upbeat and nice. The next verse is good too, albeit a bit short. I guess it's fine if this is going to be instrumental? Might be a bit short otherwise.

Clean has some sexy progressions.


If you wouldn't mind writing down a line or two on any of these



Cheers for the feedback guys. I'll have to get this recorded soon then!

CheesyMozarella: I'm a bit of a Chon fan, and have listened to TTNG before although I wasn't huge on them. If you're into them, I would recommend listening to Plini, especially his latest release , The End of Everything.

As for the first verse, yeah it's pretty much a solo. I wouldn't pay too much attention to the section names though, they're just there for easy points of reference. But yeah this one is meant to be instrumental.

Will return the crit later tonight, if not tomorrow.
fantastic stuff overall, as usual!

i agree that the little "solo" for the verse doesnt really fit. theres nothing inherently wrong with a lead there, but id recommend using a little bit of repetition/patterns, especially if you plan on adding vocals to it

which brings me to my next point: theres not enough repetition in the song (or pretty much any of your songs haha). too much repetition is bad for obvious reasons; but not enough and the song can feel directionless and the listener can get lost (not to mention it must be a bitch to memorize your own songs haha)

you could really benefit from collecting your (musical) ideas. your songs kind of sound like a collection of riffs. the riffs themselves are great and they flow reasonably well, but that might just be because theyre packed in there so tightly. that gives me another idea: try leaving some "breathing room" in your riffs so that it doesnt sound like a flurry of notes for the whole song. no matter how great, theres only so much of these note-storms i can take

overall i really did like the song, despite all my criticisms. youre still one of my favorite musicians on here (maybe even in general)
Last edited by pAWNlol at Apr 18, 2015,
Cheers for the feedback man. Appreciate it.

Because this one's supposed to be instrumental, the verse needed a 'voice' which is what the solo's for. But if people are still finding it odd then fair enough.

Can agree with the lack of repetition though ha. I always mean to return to some themes in my songs but it never really happens. But for this one, I want to go back to the second chorus at least. A lot of the stuff I used to write had a lot more structure with repeating verses and choruses and I think I've done enough of that, but these days I'm just writing as I go with it and never know where it's going to end.

Will definitely keep in mind your comment about leaving some breathing space in future. I only feel it's justified in this case because it is an instrumental one.