I, agreeing with vocoderboy, think it is very pop-ish; but it's good track. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the track. It's very raw (not professionally mixed,etc.).
Overall, I would listen to a whole album of songs like this. I hope you keep recording and updating with new music.

Here is link to my latest track. https://soundcloud.com/dirtychain/visual-snow
I'd appreciate if you at least hear it.
Oh for sure....super rough mix. Thanks so much. I LOVED your track btw, DC. I'm a fan
David Bowie is my spirit animal