#1
Hey guys, I made a song. This is something I could muster in a little over four hours. Hope you can find something to constructively criticize or compliment. I'd be more than glad to C4C.


Cheers!
Attachments:
28.4.152.gp5
#2
wasnt expecting dj0nts haha. the 1st bridge on 13 feels a bit unorganized, but thats probably because of the odd-times drums. not sure if you were purposely going off-kilter, but its hard to listen to/feel the rhythm. plus the acoustic guitar over it got a bit annoying after a while.

the verse certainly doesnt have that problem though. djenty groove goodness. not a fan of that other bridge though. it has potential, but it feels forced into the song; it just comes and goes, no transition into or out of it

the chorus also had potential, but i feel like you could do a lot more with it. also the rhythm is odd. im not trying to say that youre a noob or anything, but the rhythm feels like a try-hard djent groove

i like the part on 85. odd yet groovy. if you want to make it a bit more melodic, id recommend changing the bass note from measures 89-92 to a 1 instead of a 2. but if youd rather keep it weird and proggy sounding, keep it as-is

the interlude up to 132 has a lot of potential, but the odd rhythm again feels forced

all in all, i feel as if the song has a lot of potential, but isnt currently being utilized. sorry if im being harsh, i realized this is probably one of my most critical reviews. just trying to help
#3
I'm a huge Deftones fan and generally just a fan of alt metal. This was good. As a lover of most things prog, I think the drums were slick. There are just times when it's cool to let the drums go to strange places instead of spoon feeding the listener the downbeat. The intro/first bit of verse got me pumped. I dug the rhythm 13-16 in the bridge, but not the actual notes themselves. That could very well just have to do with the fact that it's GP and not really guitars, but I feel like it should be a tad lower. I like 17-20 though.

The bridge with the steady eighths on the drums sounds EPIC. I think the chorus is good as is. I LOVE odd rhythms. I don't think of them as just a djent thing. It's a music thing. African village members hit their drums at odd, polyrhythmic intervals, but that does not make them djent. Also, I imagine a Maynardy/Chino-y voice soaring over this chorus and it's pretty awesome.

I view alt metal as something more feel based and rhythmic in terms of guitar work, typically with basic chords. You capture that style well, and get a lot of emotion out with those basic concepts.

77 was a neat ass part. I'd usually ask more of a bass line in that sort of situation, but that sort of droning bassline had a nice flavor. Also, I can't complain with the drums grooving that hard over it. I really liked your choice of intervals of 5 sixteenths for your melody in that section. I dig those sort of over the bar phrases. 101-124 just goes really hard. Measures like 128 & 132 actually ARE a bit too djent for my tastes. But the section containing those measures is really heavy and I enjoy it, overall. That last bridge and chorus kill me when I think of the vocals that could compliment them.

I thought this was a fun listen, overall.