#1
So here it is, the song I posted some days ago, more or less finished. This is the first song I've written with vocals in mind. I've come to the conclusion that it's really difficult to write sensible vocal lines.

There's quite a few sections that should have vocal lines (the chorus for example lol) so just imagine there's something cool there. No lyrics yet, and no idea what title it should have.

I'm also not quite sure about the chorus, if it feels epic/chorusy enough, that might change. XVI might be wildly out of place, I'll leave that for you to decide I guess. Not sure how to end it. On one hand I want to fade it out because it's easy, but on the other hand I always fade out so it feels cheap.

Enjoy!
Attachments:
dt.zip
#2
Assuming the file name is an abbreviation for Dream Theater, then you nailed it. Definitely got a Train of Thought/Systematic Chaos feel from this song. It's been a while since I've listened to the genre so some parts may seem odd to me that really aren't for the genre.

The Chorus is good. I can imagine some James LaBrie-esque intense high notes a la the Chorus in his song Crucified.

Middle eastern riffs are really played out in prog but you used them effectively here by not having them wear out their welcome or being too obvious. The part at 113 kinda made me groan but it's a typical prog thing to do so that's just a personal gripe of mine.

One prog cliche I DID enjoy was the rhythmic displacement used in X.

I assume XI is meant to have vocals? Really good bridge to calm the song down regardless.

The piano solo in the following verse felt a bit...odd. A call and response may work better but idk it just felt weird to have one vocal line interrupted by the solo, and then have it return like nothing happened.

XV sounds like it would work with some Mars Volta-esque vocal effects used in a swirly kinda atmospheric way. Otherwise maybe add a single note melodic line to the piano starting at bar 256. Just to kind of build up the transition, which is kind of flat.

I can't really offer any suggestions for endings becuz I usually don't even finish my pieces lol

Anyway, this is good and stuff and it didn't bore me so


(btw the riff at the very end (VIII) is awesome and you should definitely use it somewhere.)
i see your girl
G A Y
she leavin wit me

F O R
I'm playing wit her booty
in the back seat
M A D D E N