Poll: Is licking envelopes gross
Poll Options
View poll results: Is licking envelopes gross
yes
18 64%
no
10 36%
Voters: 28.
#1
i mean seriously who the **** invented this shit

i had to deal with cash money $$$ today and the lady in the bank gave me one of those older envelopes that needed to be licked shut

i looked at her and was like "biiiitch if you were so desperate for some tongue action then maybe you should pull up some porn or some shit cuz i aint dabbin' a folded sheet of paper" but then she looked at me as if i was in the wrong

SPOILER i am not, licking envelopes is barbaric, thank god for the internet and its emails

i mean seriously can you imagine if you had to lick the edges of the keyboard every time you wanted to send an email you would all be carrying STDs i guarantee it

look at this



i mean what's the difference between an envelope licker and a prostitute

talk about gross things that blow your mind
ggg1 ggg3

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Last edited by behind_you at May 15, 2015,
#2
Envelope adhesive and gin taste the same
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#3
i lick envelopes when i send people important businessy letters in the mail. then they have to touch my lick-residue and i think from that point on there is an unspoken bond.

i also appreciate it when envelope manufacturers have the courtesy to make the lick strip taste sugary. that's cool.
#5
^the realest

Quote by TV-Casualty
i lick envelopes when i send people important businessy letters in the mail. then they have to touch my lick-residue and i think from that point on there is an unspoken bond.

i also appreciate it when envelope manufacturers have the courtesy to make the lick strip taste sugary. that's cool.
you deserve to be burnt at the stake you disease spreader
ggg1 ggg3

.
#6
I sincerely like the taste and am happy to oblige whenever anyone in my family needs an envelope licked. #FuckYouIDoWhatIWant
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#7
I love licking envelopes, I'll always lick them before posting them even if they're not the licky kind. Sadly I don't get the chance that much anymore, not since losing my job as mailman.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#8
It's the worst when you're doing a million of them and your tongue gets dry and then you get cuts on your tongue


never again. I only dab them with a wet rag now
#9
y'all need help


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#10
If I encounter a basic one, I'll use some tape. If I can't find tape, I'll lick my thumb and wipe the edge. Since these sorts of envelopes are cheap shit now, that rarely holds so I end up needing tape to finish the job anyway.

Fortunately, most envelopes are self-sealing these days, either peel 'n' seel or press together and are pretty much the same price as some basic wet seal shit.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#11
In fact I'm going to remove access right now for ordering that stupid wet seal shit where I work (I manage the ordering system)


edit: the correct term is "gum" not wet seal. whatever it's done. Literally like a few pence difference in a pack of 250 compared to a self-seal thing.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#12
After a night with your mum, licking anything else is a pleasure.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#13
Quote by necrosis1193
I sincerely like the taste and am happy to oblige whenever anyone in my family needs an envelope licked. #FuckYouIDoWhatIWant
But you voted yes on the poll

Perhaps all the adhesive you've slobbered up over the years has resulted in permanent brain damage

rip necrosis

Quote by theguitarist
In fact I'm going to remove access right now for ordering that stupid wet seal shit where I work (I manage the ordering system)
\o/ SAVED \o/
ggg1 ggg3

.
#15
-> delete:
Q-CONNECT ENV GUM C5 70G MANILLA PK500


Bye!


(there were two others left but they get used in letter stuffing machines which are some old ass ones that still can't deal with press seal envelopes)
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#16
Quote by ErikLensherr
After a night with your mum, licking anything else is a pleasure.
biiitch i know this is a lie because ostriches have sex standing up and you're obviously lacking the vertical inches needed to reach her cooch
ggg1 ggg3

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#17
Quote by Ichikurosaki
people like you are the sole reason i lick on and chew the entire envelope into a sloppy mess before sending anything, in hope i ruin your day
i-i wouldn't mind so much if it were you cirLewd

Quote by theguitarist
-> delete:
Q-CONNECT ENV GUM C5 70G MANILLA PK500


Bye!


(there were two others left but they get used in letter stuffing machines which are some old ass ones that still can't deal with press seal envelopes)
whenever someone tells me that my threads are shit ill link this

who else on ug can claim that a thread in the pit has brought meaningful change to someone's life

well maybe that ug couple that got married
ggg1 ggg3

.
Last edited by behind_you at May 15, 2015,
#18
Quote by behind_you
But you voted yes on the poll

Perhaps all the adhesive you've slobbered up over the years has resulted in permanent brain damage

rip necrosis


#FuckYouIDoWhatIWant

#EvenIfWhatIWantIsToMisinterpretAPoll
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#20
Quote by AllJudasPriest
OP: Mad that envelopes get more oral tongue action than he does.
more =/= better

as a connoisseur of all things related to the fruity duty, or 'sex' as you youngins call it, i realize that simply spreading my flaps/sheets to any willing tongue will not yield the best experiences and will only leave me unsatisfied, frustrated, and vulnerable to various diseases

would you like to learn more? classes start next month, pm me to enroll
ggg1 ggg3

.
#21
Quote by behind_you
i-i wouldn't mind so much if it were you cirLewd

whenever someone tells me that my threads are shit ill link this

who else on ug can claim that a thread in the pit has brought meaningful change to someone's life

well maybe that ug couple that got married



well like 400 people use the ordering system to order supplies for the few thousand that work here, so it prob trumps one couple.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#22
Quote by theguitarist
well like 400 people use the ordering system to order supplies for the few thousand that work here, so it prob trumps one couple.
holy crap

so you're saying i basically deserve a nobel peace prize
ggg1 ggg3

.
#24
Quote by CrossBack7
someone just make the ostrich a mod already, he already has much better shitposts than all the other ones.

especially baby joel (even tho he's just a fake mod)
sir you seem to have been mistaken, this thread is 100% serious

also, the poll results are surprising. i suddenly feel so dirty every time i visit the pit
ggg1 ggg3

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#25
Why don't you invest in some kind of enevelope opening device? Or you could wear gloves whenever you deal with envelopes so that you never get lick germs on your hands.

If people shouldn't lick envelopes then why do they taste so good?
I have nothing important to say
#26
First, how no Seinfeld reference yet?

I'm down to lick an envelope. It tastes kinda yummy even.

They also make kinda like glue sticks especially for envelopes.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#27
Quote by eGraham
Envelope adhesive and gin taste the same

nice




#28
op has never went down on a girl
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#31
i don't like licking anything let alone used up fly paper
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#32
Quote by CrossBack7
someone just make the ostrich a mod already, he already has much better shitposts than all the other ones.

especially baby joel (even tho he's just a fake mod)

ayyyy my man :y:
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#33
gross thing that blows my mind: too many to list

this, however, is not one of them


one thing I find gross is bathtubs
cat
Last edited by guitarxo at May 15, 2015,
#35
Related: You can hear 18 different UG members pronounce the word envelope in this thread.
Quote by guitarxo
one thing I find gross is bathtubs

Baths are pretty gross. You're essentially soaking in your residual filth.
Free Ali
Last edited by chrismendiola at May 15, 2015,
#36
Quote by chrismendiola
Related: You can hear 18 different UG members pronounce the word envelope in this thread.

Baths are pretty gross. You're essentially soaking in your residual filth.


Yeah, and also i think it's gross that dust and insect bits etc can just float into your bathtub and you have to wash the whole tub before you take a bath except i have NEVER seen anyone do that which means they're gonna have all this stuff stick to them. I'd rather take a chlorinated bath and then take a shower to rinse all this crap off but i currently just take showers in a separate shower area and wash my hamster's cage in the tub and let her run around in there because she doesn't know what gross is.
cat
#38
It's kinda gross but like really who licks envelopes anymore. Get the ones with sticker stuff you peel off.
#39
Quote by seanlang01
It's kinda gross but like really who licks envelopes anymore. Get the ones with sticker stuff you peel off.

Who even uses tangible mail these days? Lol, imagine going into your mailbox and finding that somebody wrote you a letter. If this person was feeling so old-fashioned, you'd wonder why he didn't have a courier deliver it on horseback.
Free Ali
Last edited by chrismendiola at May 16, 2015,