#1
i wanna do things with this cute girl?

wat do i do?

pit?

you've never failed me before?

give me your best pickup lines?
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#2
Marry her.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#3
"Do you go to Penn State?"
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#4
i'm against sex after marriage.

marriage is for people who want to be miserable and celibate.

^
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#5
Offer her money, it's your best (only) chance.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#6
"Hey girl are you horny because I am horny and I really want to stick my dick in you. Please respond."
I have nothing important to say
#9
Quote by metal4eva_22
I'd tell you to **** off and die, but I'm not that mean.

oh... well...

thank you?
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#10
baby, would I lie to you just to RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH YOUR PUBES?
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#11
pick up lines are great esp if you stumble over yrself as you approach her and completely botch the delivey shit always works trust she gon think yre adorable and bold at the same time maybe she'll even draw you a chart of how out of yr league she is and let you down easy >:^)




#12
>get basket of limes
>drop them right next to her
>pick them up but keep "dropping them"
>when she helps you, say "Im sorry, I'm really bad at pickup limes"
>???
>marriage

Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#13
Quote by MinterMan22
pick up lines are great esp if you stumble over yrself as you approach her and completely botch the delivey shit always works trust she gon think yre adorable and bold at the same time maybe she'll even draw you a chart of how out of yr league she is and let you down easy >:^)





that's a sad stack.

i don't need any pickup lines anyway cuz i'm a smooth-talking, mysterious, handsome mother****er.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#14
Quote by jakesmellspoo
i'm against sex after marriage.


So no sex after marriage?
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#15
Quote by Bladez22
>get basket of limes
>drop them right next to her
>pick them up but keep "dropping them"
>when she helps you, say "Im sorry, I'm really bad at pickup limes"
>???
>marriage


yoooooooooooo lmao




#16
Just give her the same look as your profile pic.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#17
Quote by Momentosis
So no sex after marriage?

yes.

i'm also against marriage.

unless the girl will only do it after, then i'll put a ring on it, put my thing in it, pull it out and run away.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#18
Quote by MinterMan22
pick up lines are great esp if you stumble over yrself as you approach her and completely botch the delivey shit always works trust she gon think yre adorable and bold at the same time maybe she'll even draw you a chart of how out of yr league she is and let you down easy >:^)

BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#19


Always works.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#20
Quote by jakesmellspoo


i don't need any pickup lines anyway cuz i'm a smooth-talking, mysterious, handsome mother****er.


Oedipus, is that you?
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#21
legit problem:

all the ones i think of involve wordplay surround "giving a tip" because i'm still a 12 year old on the inside.

Arby's attempts at humor are unsurprisingly unhumorous.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
Last edited by jakesmellspoo at May 23, 2015,
#22
Quote by jakesmellspoo
oh... well...

thank you?

It means a lot to me, that you recognize the restraint it took for me to not bitch you out
#23
Quote by jakesmellspoo
legit problem:

all the ones i think of involve wordplay surround "giving a tip" because i'm still a 12 year old on the inside.

Arby's attempts at humor are unsurprisingly unhumorous.

forget the tip

it's all about the smooch




#24
Quote by MinterMan22
forget the tip

it's all about the smooch


something something that little guy
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#26
Quote by jakesmellspoo
Arby's attempts at humor are unsurprisingly unhumorous.

How many other people are referencing Sophocles in the chirping game right now, my man's a legend.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#27
Quote by K'Nuckles
I quadruple in size


so.... 4 inches?

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#28
Quote by jakesmellspoo
legit problem:

all the ones i think of involve wordplay surround "giving a tip" because i'm still a 12 year old on the inside.

Arby's attempts at humor are unsurprisingly unhumorous.


Arby's does have "the meats" though.
Gear: Gibson Les Paul Studio, Gibson SG Special, Fender Stratocaster, Fender Telecaster, Fender Jazzmaster, Gretsch Pro Jet, Carvin C350, Epiphone ES-339 P90, Epiphone ES-335 Pro. Peavey 6505, Sovtek MIG-100, Vox AC30, Peavey XXX.
#29
Quote by ThunderPunk
Arby's does have "the meats" though.

A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#32
I'm single but I refuse to be called a virgin for reasons that will not be revealed until I know I can trust someone with that information.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#33
Quote by Pastafarian96
I'm single but I refuse to be called a virgin for reasons that will not be revealed until I know I can trust someone with that information.


You can trust me with that information. I won't share it with anyone apart from people I share it with.
I have nothing important to say
#34
"Nice shoes. wanna f*ck?"
Has shown to be at least 2% effective, so you only have to say it, at most, 98 times before you get laid.
Last edited by CodeMonk at May 24, 2015,