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#1
Hey guys. I really REALLY need your help here. Im so confused...


Basically this is the story; So a week ago, my girlfriend rang me up, and told me to come to her house.


As I arrived, I found her sitting and crying in her bed. I then asked her what's up?


She then told me she wanted/needed a break from our relationship, as her final exams are really doing her head in.


At this moment we have been together for 8 months.
She is barely eating, drinking or sleeping
Wow...


I didn't quite know what to say or think there.
She had already found some of my stuff for me to bring back home.
Her mom would then text me a few hours later saying that she had a chat with my girlfriend (her daughter), and that she had said various things.


She had said that she would like to talk to me again, after the exams, and that she wasn't looking for anybody else.
As the week went on, I texted her a few times, as I was so confused.
I got very short replies, and they all seemed very "stressed". Short, brief replies.


I did however ask her if I should send her stuff back to her, she replied no.
She also told me what she would NOT throw away the pictures we had framed of me and her away, or
any of the cards she had sent me.


Then on sunday (24th of may) she texted me saying. "Hey John. I just wanted to say that from the bottom of my heart; I love you.
I know things are pretty rough now, but they will get better."
I replied with stuff like "Yep. I'll be waiting right here for you, if you want me to?" She then replied yes, and i felt joy. Oh the joy.


The day after, I was just wondering...
Why she all of a sudden would just change like that? So I texted her saying: Annabell, are you sure you want me to wait for you?
She then replied: "I don't know "


So here I am now... clueless.
Was it wrong of me to ask her about that, they day after she wrote to me?
All my friends, my "girlfriends" parents tells me just to wait, as she is very stressed, and that she will come back to me. I just need to give it time..
What do you guys think?
#2
What a strange conversation

Nothin you can do but that really you can't really bombard her with emotion atm, just gotta try to chill and see how it plays out and prepare for either side
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#3
You need to stay on her case so she doesn't drift away. Complain a lot about her absence so she knows you care. Give her an ultimatum, it's me or your exams, and she'll respect you.
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#4
this is really one of those situations where waiting it out might seem like it's hard, but it will probably be worth it. Don't push it though, an occasional nudge in the form of a "How are you <pet-name>?" isn't too bad but occasional is operative.
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#6
I think your friends and everyone else are right and you should just wait for her exams to get over. a lot of people aren't too good at handling exam stress, myself included (I've never wanted to break up with anyone over it but I start going a little crazy)
cat
#7
so the answer she gave me yesterday when I asked if she wanted me to wait, as she claimed the day before. I shouldn't really think to much about?
#8
sounds like a chick who doesn't have the guts to tell you straight up that she wants to see other people and wants to have control over you and have you as an back-up option if her plans don't work out.

doesn't make sense that you two need to break up over her stress and exam, does it? if you were in her position wouldn't a simple 'hey, I'm gonna be really busy the next few weeks so we unfortunately won't be able to hangout for the time being' suffice?
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#9
Quote by ErikLensherr
You need to stay on her case so she doesn't drift away. Complain a lot about her absence so she knows you care. Give her an ultimatum, it's me or your exams, and she'll respect you.

I hope this guy is kidding.

Just give her some space. School has stressed her out, let her have some pressure-free time to deal with it and think about things. If she's around after and still wants a relationship then great. If not, whatever, she's not worth it.
#10
Give your lady some time. If you have everything figured out, thats great, but if she is preoccupied she needs to gain herself back on her own. If she is actually stressed about finals she isnt gonna hook up with anyone else, so dont worry about that.
#12
Quote by Gingerlocks
Annabell, are you sure you want me to wait for you?


Sounds like you aren't too sure whether you want to wait for her yourself.
#13
Quote by Ssargentslayer
I hope this guy is kidding.

Yeah, duh >_>
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#14
Quote by Godsmack_IV
Sounds like you aren't too sure whether you want to wait for her yourself.

This is the kind of answer I imagine being given by some calm, old dude in a movie who listens to a confused teenager ranting on and venting about all his problems, only to let the teen come to a conclusion on his own, followed by a sympathetic smile and something along the lines of 'I knew that, but would you have believed it unless you found out yourself?', after which the teen runs off excitedly to solve whatever trouble he was in. The old man watches the teen run away, and when he can barely see him anymore, he smiles and mumbles to himself: "The answer was inside him all along."
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#15
just never talk or think about her again and if she calls you after exams yay
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#16
Quote by Wiegenlied
sounds like a chick who doesn't have the guts to tell you straight up that she wants to see other people and wants to have control over you and have you as an back-up option if her plans don't work out.?


This is exactly what I thought. Seems like way way too big an overreaction for having exams. Not eating and sleeping and shit, being bipolar as ****. Yeah, I don't buy the exams thing. I don't know though, it's not my relationship. Don't go accusing her of that though, I'd say play it super chill for her exams period and let her be the one to initiate things. This is the part where you just act very passive in my opinion. I think being overly attached and responsive to her is a bad idea during this kind of rough patch. Give her the space she wants. See what happens after exams are over.

How old are you two anyway? Have either of you been in proper relationships before?
Last edited by vayne92 at May 26, 2015,
#17
I don't think she's necessarily overreacting though. I know some people who have had real trouble with exams and stuff in the past, and that generally included stuff like not eating and sleeping from being too stressed out. Stress can do some weird shit to people.

My advise to TS is wait it out for a bit, don't jump to conclusions and have a good talk once exams are over. How long will the exam period be? A few weeks?
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#18
hmmmmmm.......EATDAT PUSSSAAAAAYYYY
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#19
Quote by ultimate-slash
I don't think she's necessarily overreacting though. I know some people who have had real trouble with exams and stuff in the past, and that generally included stuff like not eating and sleeping from being too stressed out. Stress can do some weird shit to people.

My advise to TS is wait it out for a bit, don't jump to conclusions and have a good talk once exams are over. How long will the exam period be? A few weeks?


Yeah, it's over in a month
#20
I never really got the whole taking a break thing, like just because you're going out doesn't mean she has to make a big fuss over you or anything, especially if you understand that she's going through a stressful time, so the whole basically breaking up for whatever amount of time seems odd or like they're not really into it in the first place. People in couples go through hard times all the time without having to cut ties with their partner.

But being positive you could just wait the month and see if things pick back up.
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#21
Ah right. Well, it's completely up to you at this point. I doesn't seem like forcing a conversation about it will do much good, and if you think it's worth waiting a month to discuss it, you should wait.
I would strongly suggest having a serious talk about it at some point though. It's nice of you to take a step back when she's very stressed and needs some room to breathe, but if she's going to need that every time she gets stressed out, you two need to ask yourselves if that's going to work for both of you. There will always be stuff to stress out about, and if you want to be in a healthy relationship, you have to find a way to deal with that together.
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


Last edited by ultimate-slash at May 26, 2015,
#22
Capitalism kills love
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#23
Sorry from last post. My syntax isn't the best at times.


A quick text to reassure her you'll wait might help her stress levels. After that, wait a month.
.
Last edited by Fat Lard at May 26, 2015,
#24
If she's putting important exams before you she clearly isn't worth your time, TS. Find yourself some nice school-dropout instead, one who cares about you and you only.
I have nothing important to say
#25
What a bunch of bullshit. Do yourself a favor and break up with her now before she breaks up with you. Exams and stress are no reason to "take a break" from a relationship. Think about what that even means. Like, why would you not want someone you supposedly are in love with to be there to support you if your exams are so stressful? It would've been fine if she said she just might not be able to hang out as much until exams are over, but "takinga break" really just means she doesn't value you enough to tell you the truth which is that she is questioning your relationship.
Last edited by MeGaDeth2314 at May 26, 2015,
#26
Personally it would bother me. Just tell me that you'll be busy, and we won't be able to see each other as often, or talk as much as normal. It's no reason to entirely put a relationship on hold as far as I'm concerned.

But I don't know what your relationship has been like. Everyone is different. Maybe your girl really can't handle any outside distractions right now.
#27
What I love most about the pit is how judgemental a bunch of nerds on the internet can be. If she is worth it just wait for her. Stop texting.
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ಠ_ಠ
#28
Quote by The Judist
Capitalism kills love

What is love?
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#29
Quote by ultimate-slash
What is love?


Baby don't hurt me
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#30
Quote by Wiegenlied
sounds like a chick who doesn't have the guts to tell you straight up that she wants to see other people and wants to have control over you and have you as an back-up option if her plans don't work out.

doesn't make sense that you two need to break up over her stress and exam, does it? if you were in her position wouldn't a simple 'hey, I'm gonna be really busy the next few weeks so we unfortunately won't be able to hangout for the time being' suffice?


+1.

You're getting dumped bro, absolutely no doubt.
ayy lmao
#31
Quote by Neo Evil11
What I love most about the pit is how judgemental a bunch of nerds on the internet can be.


right???
i don't know why i feel so dry
#32
going on a break during exams seems far too extreme lol doesn't bode well I'd say
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#33
Quote by chookiecookie
+1.

You're getting dumped bro, absolutely no doubt.



Yup.

If it was just stress due to exams, She would have just said "I'm swamped with exams, not going to be able to do anything until they're done." and left it at that. There wouldn't have been any calling you over, crying on the bed and giving you your stuff to take back home.

She's going after someone else, and just keeping you around as a fall-back position if the new guy doesn't work.
#35
Quote by Eastwinn
right???

Is this a question or an agreement but with general disbelieve of the attitude of the pit?

I doubt TS is getting dumped. Sounds more like the girl is in a really dark place and instead of opening up about it she is choking and closing herself up. Problem is that neither letting her do that, nor trying to force her not to, seem like good options.
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I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#36
Clingy teenagers, if I was you I would just stop contacting her and see if she contacts you after her big "stress" period. Even then I don't know if I would care unless she gives me one of them slurpy sucky session.
#37
Quote by burk3
Clingy teenagers, if I was you I would just stop contacting her and see if she contacts you after her big "stress" period. Even then I don't know if I would care unless she gives me one of them slurpy sucky session.

Get out. You have to be 12 years or older to join this site.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#38
Quote by Neo Evil11
Is this a question or an agreement but with general disbelieve of the attitude of the pit?

I doubt TS is getting dumped. Sounds more like the girl is in a really dark place and instead of opening up about it she is choking and closing herself up. Problem is that neither letting her do that, nor trying to force her not to, seem like good options.


i'm agreeing
i don't know why i feel so dry
#39
Quote by Neo Evil11
Get out. You have to be 12 years or older to join this site.


Just sounds like the pit has the emotional background of a teenager in general. This whole situation is just the type of thing I refuse to deal with as I think it's totally useless.
#40
Quote by Eastwinn
i'm agreeing

I thought so,
but I was afraid, so afraid
to assume that my interpretation was the correct one.
Because maybe,
just maybe
my own biases and heuristics were flawed
and the conclusion that I took, may have been the wrong one;
therefore I asked,
I asked you.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ