#1
Hello guys,

So this is a new track ('Anesthetized') I recently recorded by myself. Would be only too glad if you could point out the weak spots in terms of structure, dynamics and whatnot.

I understand that the vocals are a bit sloppy in places but that's just a home demo to get the feel and measure of the song.

Thank you very much in advance!

https://soundcloud.com/s1ckandt1r3d/anesthetized-electric
#2
I dig the intro progression. Tasteful note choices. The vocals aren't the best indeed, but they do the job for now.

I think that the dynamic shift from the intro calm to the first distorted part is nice, but the shift back to the calm is extremely abrupt. I'd really work on that, there's a very noticeable pop between the parts. The transition to the next distorted part is really freaking cool, I love the change in the clean part right before the distortion comes in. But again, the change back to clean isn't done well. It happens too fast and doesn't really flow. I like the solo tone, but you had some weird note choices there, sounded like you hit some wrong tones.

I think that even though the structure is very standard, it works for the track. The changes in dynamics are nice, however both times when you switch back to the calm part the transition is more or less awful, I'd try to make it smoother.

As a song, I quite liked it. Nice composition and atmosphere. Get it recorded properly and it'll be an amazing track.
Quote by Jet Penguin
Theory: Not rules, just tools.

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*note that by fan i mean that guy who wants his friends to know he knows this totally obscure hip band that only he knows about with 236 views on youtube. lookin' at Kev here
#3
Kevaturi thank you very much, mate!

I think I'll buy some studio time to get it properly recorded cause I've exhausted my ipad Garage band resources and the whole project is bursting at the seams.

all comments are just spot-on! Any idea on how to make the chorus-verse transition less abrupt? To let the ending chord ring out or throw in a quick distorted riff?

Thank you very much once again! Do you have a topic where I can comment back or something?
#4
Yeah, things like letting the chord fade out or adding a repeat for the riff with the transition in mind might make it smoother. Maybe just recording and producing it with better quality might do the trick. A surefire way is to simply listen to songs that you like and comparing them to your song, and borrowing some ideas. Our influences are the best teachers
Quote by Jet Penguin
Theory: Not rules, just tools.

Quote by Hail
*note that by fan i mean that guy who wants his friends to know he knows this totally obscure hip band that only he knows about with 236 views on youtube. lookin' at Kev here
#5
Full of angst and bottled tension, this track sharply expresses a kind of existential alienation. The clever arrangement of sudden changes, raw strumming, tortured singing, and the awesome opening into the full band sound, the soaring release, make this a uniquely brilliant song.
My only problem with this is the rough production. Although the organic immediate feel is entirely appropriate, some of the sounds, engineering and performances are just a bit too loose. But really because this song and the conception are so strong these weaknesses do not distract too much, especially from the cutting emotional impact of this penetrating piece.
However, the lead vocal is excellent, absolutely perfect passion and tone for this style.
Although not a professional standard recording, this is a perfect demo of a tremendous talent. This song and band have a serious, although somewhat left-field, commercial appeal judging by this offering. And personally I love it!!!
C4C here.
#7
Hey brutha, thanks heaps for your review! Really glad to hear you liked my thing

The nick is because thats been my internet on things like Wolfenstein MP and CoD II for gaming so I thought, meh, Ill use that here haha.

Anyways, your track;

The acoustic guitar part sounds really nice and the tone is good, sounds like nice new strings, it keeps good time as well. The only problem with regards to it is that its too loud in the mix in my opinion. It almost takes attention away from the vocals. Its not by much, but its noticeable.

When the distorted guitars come in with the drums, again I feel like its a bit too loud. A bit of a volume increase is good, but you need to be mindful of the mix. You will find that if you make the distorted guitars the same volume as the clean/acoustic guitars before they came in the effect they have on the listener is that they appear to be louder and more powerful, but they in reality arent any different in volume and so they dont mess your mix up.

The vocals sound raw and a little pitchy, but I think it fits the song really well. Its not an opera after all haha I think it adds to the grungey element.

The solo I think was cool, the only issue was with the bends, and thats that they didnt quite hit pitch. You gotta be careful to bend the whole semitone or the whole tone, whichever youre going for. A good way to practice that is to play the note you want to bend to, which is normally two frets in front of the one youre going to bend, and then bend to that note.

Overall, the track sounds very grungey, atmosphere suits it really well.

Thanks again for your crit dude

Keep making music!!