#1
A moment to savour in a lifetime of forgetfulness
And I still can't get you to spend my time and money
After all these years of longing and misery.

Try as I might, I can't get you to see how I really am,
Not as a boring, faltering acquaintance,
But as a carer, a protector, a chivalrous knight, a lover.

Still I dream of you and all your consequences,
That happiness in times of desperate darkness,
That nervous hand in mine when the world starts bearing its weight down.

Maybe I just look like a cunt through your eyes,
A fuckwit with nothing interesting to say
Except a parameter of pleasantries to verbalise and disregard.

Maybe I should just leave you behind,
Find a home in the clouds no one so much as glances at any more,
Look down and watch you oblivious to my vanishing.

I could disappear if you wanted me to;
Just say the word and I would fuck off forever
And wander in a desert of my own fatalism.