#1
I may have made this thread before but I can't find it.

This thread is about optimistic people who love life, meeting people, having new experiences and "living in the moment", whatever that means. Every day is a new adventure and every stranger is a friend you haven't met. You probaby know someone who is like this. Maybe you are like this yourself.

I am not one of these people, nor could I become one even if I really wanted to. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing some crucial aspect of life, and this keeps me from appreciating the world I live in.

If you're a happy person, are you naturally inclined to be that way, or does it take a huge effort?
Do you try to improve your outlook for yourself, or for the benefit of those around you?
#4
“The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right."

- Henry Ford


This sums up my feelings on this matter.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#6
I'm too boring to find exciting people that will accept me into doing their fun things.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


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#7
Quote by Xiaoxi
“The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right."

- Henry Ford


This sums up my feelings on this matter.

But is this something you have control over?

Do I have to pretend to be a happier person, even though I find it difficult, until people start to believe the act is the real me?
Or is it better to accept the way I am and not bother trying to be something I'm not?

I can be happy with my life, but I won't necessarily become more extroverted/optimistic/outgoing/adventurous/interesting. The question I'm trying to ask is, is this "mindset" the result of a natural predisposition, or an effort to avoid sinking into depression?
#8
I'd love to live in the moment and when I do just let things go I have a good time but usually I'm too focused on the future and the consequences of my actions like spending the next morning hungover or being tired for work the next day which is a bad attitude but its how I am

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#9
I need to be more Mexi-can and less Mexi-cant but then again i'm not even Mexi.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


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What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#11
I'm pretty happy with my life but most people describe me as a pure phlegmatic, I don't really get excited about doing new stuff and meeting new people.

Brotip though, trying to 'improve' yourself by putting on a fake smile and suppressing your negative emotions with some bullshit motivational attitude / carpe diem approach won't make you optimistic, it's gonna make you have problems.
#15
My life right now is in a pretty dark place. I do really admire people who think in the moment though. I really want to be like them. I think they're the sort of people the world needs more of and I take the process of attaining that level of fulfillment very seriously. Being like one of those people takes a huge amount of effort in my circumstances, but what that tells me is that it's more important than ever.
Quote by sashki
But is this something you have control over?

The vast majority do have the potential ability of gaining control of their emotions.
Do I have to pretend to be a happier person, even though I find it difficult, until people start to believe the act is the real me?

You may have to. But what other people think should never take precedence over what you think.
Or is it better to accept the way I am and not bother trying to be something I'm not?

Whatever would make you happier is the correct answer.
The question I'm trying to ask is, is this "mindset" the result of a natural predisposition, or an effort to avoid sinking into depression?

Nature and nurture are both significant.
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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jun 23, 2015,
#16
I'm an optimistic person, and it reflects in my music...so since it reflects, does that mean I'm shiny?

It doesn't take effort, once you realize that most people you meet don't care about your mishaps or whatever, just act normal and don't let that affect your present...in terms of optimism, your worst enemy isn't necessarily the world but yourself. So keep on looking forward, and love you.

I used to be a depressed, but I figured that nothing will ever come out of sulking and the best course of action with be to act on to it to feel better.

One time I felt like there was a glasswall with me and my school, I'm an excellent student, very involved, and I take on tasks no one would ever do but sadly no one recognizes me. I know it's selfish, but I feel like I deserved some praise. When I talked to a guidance councilor, she said, "just help for the sake of helping, don't chaise for recognition." Yeah, easy for them to say cuz they get paid and won't care what happens to you.

I'm mostly afraid of getting unnoticed, because I'm a hard worker and I try my best. But you know what, I said, "f*** my school, they don't deserve me." That's when I really realized that the secret to happiness was doing things for you, and not necessarily for others.

That's how I became optimistic...eh long rant but yea.
#17
Quote by Hence My Name
Yeah, easy for them to say cuz they get paid and won't care what happens to you.

Counsellors mostly do what they do because they enjoy helping people and empathising with other people's stories and situations. Not because it pays well; since it doesn't.
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#18
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I'd love to live in the moment and when I do just let things go I have a good time but usually I'm too focused on the future and the consequences of my actions like spending the next morning hungover or being tired for work the next day which is a bad attitude but its how I am


Why would the prospect of a hangover stop you having a good time? Its so minor.

I enjoy meeting new people and it comes fairly naturally to me, even if I'm not the most confident person in the world. But I still wouldn't say I'm this super-optimistic person who totally lives in the moment or whatever. Life is pretty boring a lot of the time, so when I do go out/go on holiday, I make sure I do as much as I can.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
Last edited by SMH07 at Jun 23, 2015,
#19
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Counsellors mostly do what they do because they enjoy helping people and empathising with other people's stories and situations. Not because it pays well; since it doesn't.


Sadly, not my experience I wish I had your guidance counsellor
#20
Quote by SMH07
Why would the prospect of a hangover stop you having a good time? Its so minor.



I have a really thin line between being comfortably drunk and absolutely wankered. I'd rather not drink than have one of those nights where you come home and try to sleep but the room is spinning and then you throw up and feel like shit the next day tbh.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#21
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I have a really thin line between being comfortably drunk and absolutely wankered. I'd rather not drink than have one of those nights where you come home and try to sleep but the room is spinning and then you throw up and feel like shit the next day tbh.


I'm exactly the same to be honest.

I don't let that stop me though. I wouldn't do it on a work night because apart from feeling like shit at work, its unprofessional and all that.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#22
Quote by SMH07
I'm exactly the same to be honest.

I don't let that stop me though. I wouldn't do it on a work night because apart from feeling like shit at work, its unprofessional and all that.


Last Friday I was right between on the line between drunk and too drunk. Had no idea about it til I got home and back in bed and my stomach was feeling unsettled and I had a little bit of a dizzy head but I was so glad I didn't stay for an extra drink cos it would've written Sunday off for minimal gain.

I just hate wasting a day off being hungover so it's all about being careful with the drink, it's proper hard when the line is so thin though

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#23
I used to dislike the song Shiny Happy People because my brother said he found it annoying. And then I started to get into REM properly and now the song is great. I love the meaning behind the song also.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#24
My neighbor's sister-in-law makes $82 /hour on the computer . She has been fired from work for six months but last month her pay check was $14550 just working on the computer for a few hours. read this article...


>>>>>+++++++++++++++++++ http://www.home-income60.tk
#25
Quote by sashki
But is this something you have control over?

Do I have to pretend to be a happier person, even though I find it difficult, until people start to believe the act is the real me?
Or is it better to accept the way I am and not bother trying to be something I'm not?

I can be happy with my life, but I won't necessarily become more extroverted/optimistic/outgoing/adventurous/interesting. The question I'm trying to ask is, is this "mindset" the result of a natural predisposition, or an effort to avoid sinking into depression?

I don't think most people are "happy", even "happy" people. Happiness does not last...nor should it. Happiness just leads to complacency which leads to stagnation which leads to...unhappiness.

I think by happiness, what you really mean is people who take action and work toward what they want to achieve. That is true happiness, but it is not a feeling of being happy, it is a feeling of having value and meaning to your life.

People who are not "happy" tend to have an outlook of "what's the point, I'll probably fail anyway" and inclines more towards negativity while people who are "happy" have an outlook of "I will definitely fail if I don't try." It's really subtle reframing of the same thing, but it makes all the difference.

Now as for being outgoing/etc, I think it is a little bit of predisposition but largely shaped by your upbringing. However, most of these are like anything else...they come with practice and experience. You may not be naturally extroverted, but that doesn't excuse you from lacking the skills to carry a conversation or introducing yourself to a new person. Those come from practice (and the willingness to do so), it just means that it takes more energy for you to do these things than it does for a naturally extroverted person.

By asking these questions, you indicate that you have some semblance of wanting to achieve more. The rest all comes down to how much you're willing to actually work to work on these common challenges.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#27
Quote by sashki

If you're a happy person, are you naturally inclined to be that way, or does it take a huge effort?



A bit of both.
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#28
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I'm pretty happy with my life but most people describe me as a pure phlegmatic, I don't really get excited about doing new stuff and meeting new people.

Brotip though, trying to 'improve' yourself by putting on a fake smile and suppressing your negative emotions with some bullshit motivational attitude / carpe diem approach won't make you optimistic, it's gonna make you have problems.

You are my spirit bear dude
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#29
My life is a cakewalk and there's not much that I want that I don't already have, so I have no choice but to be happy. :-)

By "happy," I mean that I go through my days with few, if any, complaints. I'm not someone who externally appears thrilled to be alive.
Free Ali
Last edited by chrismendiola at Jun 24, 2015,
#30
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I have a really thin line between being comfortably drunk and absolutely wankered. I'd rather not drink than have one of those nights where you come home and try to sleep but the room is spinning and then you throw up and feel like shit the next day tbh.


try sitting up when you sleep next time that happens. helps a lot
Last edited by Dregen at Jun 24, 2015,
#31
Being happy and having an "outgoing" personality don't go hand in hand perfectly.

For instance, right now I'm pretty happy, but I don't really enjoy meeting new people, "living in the moment", YOLO or that kind of stuff, at least not to that "optimistic" extent.
There are also some "outgoing" people who feel like shit inside and are not happy at all.

So no, don't try to force yourself into that mindset. Though I guess it's good to acknowledge that those are good things you can try once in a while (meeting people, etc)
#32
I keep reading this as "Skinny Happy People" and of course that's nonsense because everyone knows that it's the fat people that are always jolly!!
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#34
I'm somewhere between being optimistic and being a miserable little shit. It's something that shifts back and forth with time. Right now I'm probably the latter.
#35
Tried to keep this short but couldn't help it lol, but my 2c:

Don't fall into the trap of happy people = dumb ignorant "normies", or "black sheep" mentality.

By creating that false dichotomy (devaluing happiness and social relations by associating those things with negative experiences and observations), you sabotage yourself of your own happiness and set yourself up for failure in developing those skills and mindsets.

You end up holding yourself back by persistently holding onto your self conception of "you" that you are accustomed to, so much that you don't allow positive change to happen. What I mean by that is the involuntary retention of neurotic and self debilitating thought patterns and behaviour.

I might be reading into this question a bit too far in one direction, but I feel a lot of people would be able to relate to these feelings as a sort of defensive coping mechanism. It's a bitter and cynical sort of way to deal with disillusionment from social alienation, self doubt,
#36
Some people might have that goal-oriented mindset of 'I need to do this, meet someone like this etc.', but I don't care. I'm perfectly content with every day being a variant of its predecessor so long as I'm doing something I deem productive. Just figure out what sort of lifestyle you wish to lead in the long term and work towards it. Everything else would follow from that.
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ
Last edited by Cianyx at Jun 25, 2015,
#37
I'm optimistic most of the time, pretty much happy to live day by day. Working out well so far anyways. If you are not happy, make changes to be happy, life is short.
#38
I love life, meeting people, and having new experiences. However, I am kinda scared of meeting/interacting with new people even though I know I'll have a really good time in the end. Some people think I'm grouchy or stuck-up because of it; if they get to know me better they'll know I'm generally neither. So it does take some effort for me to put myself out there and talk to new people but once I'm comfortable with someone I'd rather be with them than alone, given the choice. I also dislike talking to strangers for no reason but if someone starts a conversation with me I'm usually happy to continue it.

I am unhappy - everyone is - but I don't let it interfere with what I want to achieve in my life. I don't think it is necessary to have goals in order to be happy but working towards goals, especially outlining why I want to achieve these goals and what I can do to be a better person makes me happy.

Exclusively living in the moment is not good for me because I like planning things and following up on them and being very specific and organized about all this but I do it occasionally.
cat
#39
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w

More Žižekn stuff. Granted it's not one of his more serious vids but I kinda see what he means with happyness not being an ethical category, at least not to the extent that it's presented in some cultures.

Of course I wouldn't call it worthless or anything but I think the whole idea that personal happiness should be the main goal in our life is a purely idiological one and ultimately causes more problems than it fixes.
#40
Quote by Arby911
I keep reading this as "Skinny Happy People" and of course that's nonsense because everyone knows that it's the fat people that are always jolly!!

this explains my misery
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me