#2
I once missed a day of school because my oesophagus was essentially on fire.

I can't eat capsicum because severe indigestion either.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#3
I was eating a crap steak at a pub, it was tough as shit. I cba'd chewing it anymore so I went to swallow and it got hella stuck. I tried drinking some Guinness to push it along but it literally came straight back out, nothing was coming in or out. This is when my at the time girlfriend was like YO WTF OH NO. Some slapper from the valleys come over and started smacking me in the back and I finally gozzed it back up
#4
During my last job my alcohol problem was at it's worst. And I was on my way there after drinking all night hungover as shit when I sharted down the street from my job. I said nope, went back home, and called in sick.
#5
turtleneck :')




#6
there was a ten day stretch where I didn't poop
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#8
Quote by Baby Joel
there was a ten day stretch where I didn't poop


my condolences

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#9
Quote by Baby Joel at #33488509
there was a ten day stretch where I didn't poop

ok but for real someone explain this to me

not gonna lie my weight fluctuates big time and its p lame but i deal with it anyway last week i overate myself into flavourtown legit 2 pound plates 3 times a day for the hell of it yknow but i didn't take a dump at all for like 5 days yet my weight stayed the same as it was before the binge someone wanna explain to me what happened there where could it all go i don't get it (i skipped health class in school btw)
#10
bout 2 months ago i caught this awful ****ed up digestive virus. I went to work, felt totally normal and fine. Hour and a half later im shitting liquid and doubled over from stomach pains, and i continued to alternate shitting and throwing up every 20 minutes or so at home the rest of the night until i wound up on the toilet still shitting liquid while puking into a grocery bag at the same time. It was the most awful 2 days of my life, honestly. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. Literally dry heaving and almost choking to death from vomiting every half hour was completely miserable, never mind the incredible ring of fire.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#11
Ive developed lactose intolerance over the last two years and its lame caus my french family has cheese and butter with every meal and im accustomed to using it when cooking. I just take the pills and deal with it
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#12
Quote by Baby Joel
there was a ten day stretch where I didn't poop

Oh sweet jesus, that's...
Quote by Acϵ♠
bout 2 months ago i caught this awful ****ed up digestive virus. I went to work, felt totally normal and fine. Hour and a half later im shitting liquid and doubled over from stomach pains, and i continued to alternate shitting and throwing up every 20 minutes or so at home the rest of the night until i wound up on the toilet still shitting liquid while puking into a grocery bag at the same time. It was the most awful 2 days of my life, honestly. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. Literally dry heaving and almost choking to death from vomiting every half hour was completely miserable, never mind the incredible ring of fire.

bad but not so much compared to this.
Quote by Wiegenlied
Ive developed lactose intolerance over the last two years and its lame caus my french family has cheese and butter with every meal and im accustomed to using it when cooking. I just take the pills and deal with it

They have pills for lactose intolerance you say? Where can I acquire this pill of my dreams?
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#13
Quote by Acϵ♠ at #33488640
bout 2 months ago i caught this awful ****ed up digestive virus. I went to work, felt totally normal and fine. Hour and a half later im shitting liquid and doubled over from stomach pains, and i continued to alternate shitting and throwing up every 20 minutes or so at home the rest of the night until i wound up on the toilet still shitting liquid while puking into a grocery bag at the same time. It was the most awful 2 days of my life, honestly. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. Literally dry heaving and almost choking to death from vomiting every half hour was completely miserable, never mind the incredible ring of fire.



did this when I was like 5 years old except I vomited into the toilet first and then shit a little bit in my pants because I didn't realize I was about to shit and vomit at the same time


this thread is ****ing gross
#14
now no matter what happens i realize there is no low point in life quite like violently shitting and puking at the same time and there's nothin you can do about it
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#15
Quote by Acϵ♠ at #33488673
now no matter what happens i realize there is no low point in life quite like violently shitting and puking at the same time and there's nothin you can do about it



yeah it really is quite degrading. it's like getting a swift kick in the balls from the universe.
#16
I have acid reflux so every day is an indigestion story
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#17
Quote by eGraham
I have acid reflux so every day is an indigestion story

this too, but I haven't in a while so I'm actually pretty happy about that.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#18
I either take the medicine every day that causes constipation or stay up a few extra hours every night waiting for the stomach acid in my throat to subside.

There are worse ailments but it's such a pain in the ass
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#20
I ate something bad, and I woke up in the middle of the night with a massively sore stomach.....


I then proceeded to let out one looooooooong loud fart.


It was horrendous, I thought of running and opening a window, but the fog had descended already and it surrounded me.


I mean, this was bad, as in having my balls kicked would have been more comfortable. My eyes were watering, I'm pretty sure the noise had shaken the house from it's foundations.

And the worst part....

The smell lingered, so when my girlfriend at the time came to visit the next day, she found me frantically shoving my sheets into the washing machine and all the windows open in my room on a freezing cold night.


Yeah, indigestion sucks
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#21
Quote by Acϵ♠
now no matter what happens i realize there is no low point in life quite like violently shitting and puking at the same time and there's nothin you can do about it



This but also having my period at the same time is my worst indigestion story. Also this was in the middle of the night so I spent like 6 hours just crying in the bathroom and then i had to go to work because the sun came up.
cat
#22
You guys...I drank too much cum tonight...tobh, I think it was human cum...but maybeh..

...babbboon cummmm....?...maybeh???
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#23
Quote by guitarxo at #33488818
This but also having my period at the same time is my worst indigestion story. Also this was in the middle of the night so I spent like 6 hours just crying in the bathroom and then i had to go to work because the sun came up.



whoa....that hella sucks
#24
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
whoa....that hella sucks


it's ok now I know I can tolerate any one of those conditions on my own no matter how painful it is
cat
#25
Im so glad i'm not a girl... adding period issues onto my already temperamental digestive system would be sooooo shit (literally lol)
#27
I get liquid shit after drinking a bottle and a half of JD and i think considering the pain, that counts.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#28
Quote by Wormholes
During my last job my alcohol problem was at it's worst. And I was on my way there after drinking all night hungover as shit when I sharted down the street from my job. I said nope, went back home, and called in sick.


no joke dude i've always worried about the same thing happening to me
#29
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM
my condolences

Quote by Pastafarian96
Oh sweet jesus, that's...

Quote by Jon777
indigestion


gj on not dying

Quote by xTURTLENECKx
That's rough bro


by the time I finally did poop, I'm quite certain I was on the toilet for three to four hours. It was...uncomfortable. And painful.
and it was bloody as well
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#30
but were you relieved?
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#31
uh

in a way


now i've been tearing the raisin bran apart, so 3 hour sessions are no longer a problem
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me