#1
a toddler lumbering.
bleach|
      |

gritty and
drying. tender toe
inbetweens. a|
             |
             |
             [refrain]                        hu.nch/childsh du
                                      st of the beach contne.nt      
                                     sex/n the plastc sharpness
                                                            the


                                                        staring
                                 beaten earth rises with flinty 
                                                      teeth and

                                                   breastfeeds. [/refrain]


basking mouth; chalky
ribcage drips.
the plaster
drips. snow sticks
in footprints to
softness.

[refrain]

a toddler stumbling.
the chemical dead-skin shar
pness of a sea.


[refrain]

malaria erupts in the cotswolds
        washes africa an ice-age|
                                |i resurface childles
                                |s. burlap/sharkfles
                                |h/plaster.eyeless 
                                |granite, saltwater
                                |croc mask/quicklime
                                |moulded, a probiscus


the dust incubates|
                  |draining iron from the west,
                  |from west-africa:
                  |
                  |and digesting.
#2
Wow. I wish my experimental poetry was this good. I love how you play with grammar and words in a way that creates a visual artwork as well as the message it conveys. It reminds me of e.e. cummings. I am not sure if he is a huge inspiration for you but I have always envied the style because it is tough to pull off and you nailed it here.
#3
Lots of texture here. "gritty and drying" and "plastic sharpness" are very specific and evocative when I linger on them. The visual images seem much more vague in comparison, though not in a bad way but more like they're being viewed through a haze.

"snow sticks/ in footprints to/ softness" does seem too vague to me given your other tactile images are so vivid.

I read the refrains a few different ways. The first is as code syntax. Seeing the first refrain in brackets as "[refrain]" and then the second preceded by a slash as "[/refrain]" makes me think you intend the stanza between those [refrain]s to be read as the refrain. The third and fourth iterations of "[refrain]" make this problematic though.

Another way is simply as an empty refrain, or as an implied repetition of the line preceding it each time I read "[refrain]."

I'm also inclined to link the refrains to the two sections at the end that are positioned to the right of a wall of vertical lines:

Quote by doubtfulsalmon


|i resurface childles
|s. burlap/sharkfles
|h/plaster.eyeless
|granite, saltwater
|croc mask/quicklime
|moulded, a probiscus


and

Quote by doubtfulsalmon

|draining iron from the west,
|from west-africa:
|
|and digesting.


because the first time the refrain appears it is also presented this way. I don't think you intended for those sections to be mentally inserted where it says "refrain" or anything like that, but they do seem linked, which may or may not be what you want.