#1
I was at my desk
and then my dog comes over and puts his head under the desk
it looked like he was starin or lookin for somethin or another but he's a weirdo so I paid no mind
looked under my desk eventually to see that there's a centipede just sittin there on the wall like he owns the place
I really don't like centipedes, in fact they ****in scare me, and had I seen it before my dog did I probably would have freaked the **** out
but not my ****in dog
my ****in dog was having NONE OF IT
puts his nose at the mother****er to stare at it closer
it darts under the table
my ****in dog chases after it and kills it
tries to eat part of it, but ya know that's his business
my dog is a ****in badass and and is better then u in every way shape and form
checkmate cats
¯\_()_/¯
#2
He's going to die.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#3
My cat catches and eats silverfishes. And has non-stop "go f*ck yourself" attitude. Lying there, being the fat freeloading bastard he is. I envy him.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#4
That's my cats average Tuesday. Get on his level.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#7
Quote by UltimateGuizar
That one centipede probably had the answer to world peace. Your dog is worst than hitler.

Everyone knows that the answer must be 42.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#9
That's it. Better quit it.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#10
one day he will die and you will be all alone. loneliness and bereavement will stalk you in your every waking moment, looming like a shadow in your mind, tolling like a bell in the wasteland of lost loves.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
Last edited by Banjocal at Jul 10, 2015,
#11
Quote by Banjocal
one day he will die and you will be all alone. loneliness and bereavement will stalk you in your every waking, looming like a shadow in your mind, tolling like a bell in the wasteland of lost loves.

Jesus that was brutal
#14
Quote by K'Nuckles
Jesus that was brutal
i dont want my cat to die i love him help
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#15
Quote by homeless-john
My dog uses "than" and "then" appropriately.

Your posts always give me a good laugh.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Plot twist - centipede was infected with zombie virus. Enjoy your soon-to-be-undead dog before he eat your brain and piss on your corpse.
#17
Quote by icanhasgodmode
Everyone knows that the answer must be 42.

God's Final Message to His Creation:
'We apologize for the inconvenience.'
#18
Quote by CaptainCanti

my dog is a ****in badass


I agree, but

checkmate cats


is this really necessary


also you swear way too much
cat
#19
Quote by GameSkate
Plot twist - centipede was infected with zombie virus. Enjoy your soon-to-be-undead dog before he eat your brain and piss on your corpse.

I think we all saw that coming.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#21
I'm more than capable of killing a centipede. Thus, you haven't proven your dog is better than I am. My lack of fear for centipedes, however, is evidence that I'm better than you.

:
Free Ali
#22
Off topic:


I hate talking to dog owners about dogs. They don't want to actually talk about dogs, they just wait for their turn to speak to talk about their dog.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#25
Quote by JustRooster
Off topic:


I hate talking to dog owners about dogs. They don't want to actually talk about dogs, they just wait for their turn to speak to talk about their dog.

I would love to have a meaningful and thought provoking convo with you about dogs without mentioning mine more than 83 times
Quote by SG_dave at #33549256
I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33553650
If you are white, you are scum.
#26
My dog slaughtered a bunch of baby rabbits one time after finding a nest. #kvlt #evan #eGraham
#27
one time i was mowing the grass in the pasture that had gotten up really high and i started seeing little rustles moving through the grass in front of me and away from me so i thought "oh god" and killed the engine and hopped off and sure enough i had gored a bunny and it was one of the most traumatic, brutal, horrifying experiences of my life

one of its eyes was popped out of its socket and it was shaking vigorously so i had to find a stick to hit it with and mercy kill it then i buried it

why did you remind me of this man

#28
Quote by GameSkate
Plot twist - centipede was infected with zombie virus. Enjoy your soon-to-be-undead dog before he eat your brain and piss on your corpse.

I don't see the problem here me and dog can be undead buddies
¯\_()_/¯
#29
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
one time i was mowing the grass in the pasture that had gotten up really high and i started seeing little rustles moving through the grass in front of me and away from me so i thought "oh god" and killed the engine and hopped off and sure enough i had gored a bunny and it was one of the most traumatic, brutal, horrifying experiences of my life

one of its eyes was popped out of its socket and it was shaking vigorously so i had to find a stick to hit it with and mercy kill it then i buried it

why did you remind me of this man

brutal