#1
Happy Brithday ESP! I got you that roast thread you've been asking for!

Let's begin:

ESP is soo unimaginative, he actually had to copy Joshua Garcia's idea of a roast thread for his birthday.

ESP is soo illl educated about sex, he ended up talking to a naked girl about the beauty of life on his friend's sofa.

ESP is soo bad, half of you probably don't even know who he is because his only friends are a bunch of pony/pokemon dorks.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#2
Who the fuck is ESP.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#3
ESP is the kind of guy who works 60 hours a week and comes home to check on those fresh MLP comments made.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#5
...like the guitars...?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#7
who?
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#8
Happen birthday ESP-ey!

I made you a brisket.


Is that the right kind of roast?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#10
ESP can't even wake up at normal times for doing things
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#12
Quote by MeTallIcA313
ESP is so lame, he's Joshua Garcia's biggest fan.

wow


Also something, something Dougie
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#13
Quote by MeTallIcA313
ESP is so lame, he's Joshua Garcia's biggest fan.

That is not lame.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#14
Quote by MeTallIcA313
ESP is so lame, he's Joshua Garcia's biggest fan.
He's also constantly gaining and losing the title of Joshua Garcia's #1 waifu, so there's that.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
ESP is such a dork that he named himself after a guitar and not even extra sensory perception.
#17
Quote by MeTallIcA313
ESP is so lame, he's Joshua Garcia's biggest fan.


Real talk, This is probably one of the sickest burns I've ever read.
ayy lmao
#18
Pretty sure the title of biggest Joshua Garcia fan belongs to stepco.
Or belonged.

He made that avatar originally, as well as had the title "#1 The Joshua Garcia's Fan" and the location "Backstage fawning over Joshua Garcia of The Joshua Garcias" so...
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#20
Quote by Joshua Garcia at #33502082

ESP is soo bad, half of you probably don't even know who he is because his only friends are a bunch of pony/pokemon dorks.


oh I know who he is. back in 09 we were tied for two whiniest users on this site. that's embarassing enough and it isn't even a joke.

also iirc he lives in Alberta LOL
#22
Quote by Guitar0player
ESP is.....actually an ok guy....
Hey hey hey! None of that!

Don't want no trolls around here. It's his birthday, man. Best take that back now.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#23
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Hey hey hey! None of that!

Don't want no trolls around here. It's his birthday, man. Best take that back now.


Fine, ESP is actually not an ok guy.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#24
Better.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#26
Quote by King Donkey
Tbh there's nothing to roast, ESP put out some solid guitars at the summer NAMM. http://www.espguitars.com/pages/summer-namm-2015-new-products

That white strat.
The aqua one is better.
Both the guitar and the bass.
In fact, those are lovely. I wonder how much they go for.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#27
I just wish ESP didn't keep making copycat guitars of Jacksons.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#28
^I thought it was more bashing Fender than anything.
Quote by Joshua Garcia
The aqua one is better.
Both the guitar and the bass.
In fact, those are lovely. I wonder how much they go for.

Floyd Rose though blehh.

I'd guess in the $1000-1500 range.
West Ham United
#29
Quote by King Donkey at #33502471
^I thought it was more bashing Fender than anything.

Their Fender copies are forgivable because it's hard not to copy them, but their V guitars are pretty shameless Jackson clones.



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Jul 15, 2015,
#31
ESP is soo uninteresting that his thread only lasted a page before it turned into a thread about ESP guitars being copy cats.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#32
Quote by Joshua Garcia
ESP is soo uninteresting that his thread only lasted a page before it turned into a thread about ESP guitars being copy cats.


It's not about being a copy cat it's about how good you are at it.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#35
one of my ukuleles is Koa, it sounds really good compared to the others, bright, but still warm.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#36
The top is only a veneer.
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#38
Quote by King Donkey at #33502420
Tbh there's nothing to roast, ESP put out some solid guitars at the summer NAMM. http://www.espguitars.com/pages/summer-namm-2015-new-products

That white strat.


Dem Koa's tho

OT: ESP's favorite hockey team is bad and he should feel bad