#1
When I go, I go alone
There ain't no one ever looking out for me
Just the sun, my own lean shadow
And the wind out among the trees

Home, it's far beyond,
Long lost horizons
Home I'll never see
For I'll be a prisoner of the road
And I hold no key,
That will ever set me free

Most humbly on my bending knee
I'm begging you,
To help me, please
For I'm a prisoner of the road
And I hold no key,
I hold no key,
That will ever set me free.


I found some old, short piece I worked on a long time a go.
Thoughts, critiques?
Last edited by Funtwo92 at Jul 20, 2015,
#2
I like it, sometimes lyrics (i think) lyrics can get a bit bland when the whole song is the same metaphor. Like possibly let the real topic poke through a little. That is just something I do with my writing though, your a different person and you have your own way of doing things. So really I'm just nagging. Do what you want, art is you.
#3
Thanks. I appreciate it. For some reason I go with an "either or" when it comes to writing songs. Either full metaphor, or none at all.
Looking forward to reading some of your work as well.
#4
this is a pretty good song that has the potential to be great IMO. Add some more stanzas and up the imagery a bit and you have a pretty damn cool song in your hands.
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
#5
Thank you very much! Like I said, this is an old song I found tucked away, so I'm hoping to continue working on it, and maybe re-posting it. Especially after the nice feedback

Sorry for the bad English/misspelling. I'm a bit drunk...
#8
It's been 10 years since I have uploaded the last song I wrote here.
Something brought me back to this site and I am so happy to see the forum is still going!
I'm glad I clicked on your thread - great song man.
simple, well written, and something I can relate to. That's what a song with a soul looks like.
must say that when I was reading it it sounded very different in my head than the video you have uploaded. I like the lyrics but I do think you can play around with the music some more.

Sasha