#1
Hey guys- wrote this piece over the past month, and I wanted to know what you think.

My main concerns are that the transitions seem disjointed, as well as the drum track might not fit- I have very little knowledge of drums.

Thanks!
Attachments:
California Skate Punk.gp5
#3
Quote by Rokkstar
You didn't tune the bass down the half-step. It'd make more sense if you added the vocal melodies. Without the vocal melodies, if there are any, it just sounds like chords! But I don't know much about it.


Thanks for catching that! I actually don't have experience writing lyrics, so maybe I need to work on that next.

EDIT: Here's the revised file.
Attachments:
California Skate Punk Song.gp5
Last edited by Jake P at Aug 1, 2015,
#4
You.. still didn't tune down the bass. Also, your drum patterns have like, 8 instances of cymbals. Everything in the drum loop appears to be kick, snare and low tom.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#5
Quote by EpiExplorer
You.. still didn't tune down the bass.


Sorry about that... bit of a Luddite here. This should work.

Quote by EpiExplorer
Also, your drum patterns have like, 8 instances of cymbals. Everything in the drum loop appears to be kick, snare and low tom.


Aaaaaand? What specifically can I improve about it? I mean, we are talking about punk drumming here. I didn't mention it before, but I definitely want to keep the guitar at the forefront of the arrangement, so I want to keep the patterns very simple.
Attachments:
California Skate Punk Song.gp5
Last edited by Jake P at Aug 2, 2015,
#6
That's all well and good, but even in punk, they use the hi-hat at the least.
Here's the thing: What you're writing here is not what it'll sound like in real life. You need an equal balance of low, mid and high end for an encompassing experience. By adding something as simple as a hi-hat every quarter note, you're already forming the basis of a strong rhythmical backline.
Without it, you're missing vital rhythmic and tonal depth, cuz the instruments you're using are all in the bass, low-mid and mid range frequency bands.

I hope I am genuinely being helpful and not too much of a patronizing dick.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#7
Quote by EpiExplorer
That's all well and good, but even in punk, they use the hi-hat at the least.
Here's the thing: What you're writing here is not what it'll sound like in real life. You need an equal balance of low, mid and high end for an encompassing experience. By adding something as simple as a hi-hat every quarter note, you're already forming the basis of a strong rhythmical backline.
Without it, you're missing vital rhythmic and tonal depth, cuz the instruments you're using are all in the bass, low-mid and mid range frequency bands.

I hope I am genuinely being helpful and not too much of a patronizing dick.


Ahhh... that makes sense- I'll try reworking it... maybe send it over to the Instrument Ideas thread.

No worries, man, you're being very helpful! I actually find it refreshing when people can be direct (without being patronizing, of course) in their communication. Thanks for the feedback!
#8
I wasn't able to edit your drum part in Guitar Pro, so I just went ahead and did another one over top to make a point about the drum parts. The other guy is right, you need to hit all the dynamics. Obviously it's your song, and this is just a couple minutes of work on my part. But you can instantly tell the difference in pace when you utilize the cymbals and toms tastefully. I tried my best to capture the original feel of the song. Maybe I succeeded, maybe not. But this is just to give you an idea about what the other user may have been saying.
Attachments:
California Skate Punk drums.gp5
#9
Quote by ninja.kitty
I wasn't able to edit your drum part in Guitar Pro, so I just went ahead and did another one over top to make a point about the drum parts. The other guy is right, you need to hit all the dynamics. Obviously it's your song, and this is just a couple minutes of work on my part. But you can instantly tell the difference in pace when you utilize the cymbals and toms tastefully. I tried my best to capture the original feel of the song. Maybe I succeeded, maybe not. But this is just to give you an idea about what the other user may have been saying.


Wow, this sounds great! Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it! Definitely fits the feel of the song.

A few of questions, though:

I noticed a couple of things about the bass drum: first, I noticed that you added an extra hit on the last offbeat of some measures, but not others, for example in measure 14. Any particular reasoning from a drummer standpoint behind this? Also, I noticed you used two kinds of snare drums- is this to add tonal variety, or for some other purpose?

For the 16th note rhythm on measure 18, for example, I noticed you used both the snare and tom. Why not just use one? Tonal variety again?

Lastly, the big one: are there any good resources out there for composing drum parts as a guitarist? I feel like I have so many gaps in my knowledge (e.g., dynamics) on drums, and endless "whys".

I'm also enclosing the current version of my song, just in case you wanted to take a look.

Thanks again!
Attachments:
California Skate Punk Song.gp5
Last edited by Jake P at Aug 11, 2015,
#10
Quote by Jake P
Wow, this sounds great! Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it! Definitely fits the feel of the song.

A few of questions, though:

I noticed a couple of things about the bass drum: first, I noticed that you added an extra hit on the last offbeat of some measures, but not others, for example in measure 14. Any particular reasoning from a drummer standpoint behind this? Also, I noticed you used two kinds of snare drums- is this to add tonal variety, or for some other purpose?

Those are just "fills." They are needed (in my opinion) so that the song doesn't sound super monotonous. It's definitely up to whoever is playing. But I like to have the drummer switch things up, so that's how I write.

For the 16th note rhythm on measure 18, for example, I noticed you used both the snare and tom. Why not just use one? Tonal variety again?

Yeah, just to spice things up.

Lastly, the big one: are there any good resources out there for composing drum parts as a guitarist? I feel like I have so many gaps in my knowledge (e.g., dynamics) on drums, and endless "whys".

I was exactly the same dude. Same with all of us here! I'm sure you could pick the brains of a few drummers to see what and why they employ some techniques. But for me, it was a matter of practicing. Over time, you know what works, and you get faster and faster at writing it down.

Thanks again!

You're welcome! Good luck, and keep at it!