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#1
Alright, time for another misfortune thread. Most, if not all all, of you will love this one


So earlier today I did my weekly car wash. Usually takes about an hour or so. Looks particularly clean today because I did it while the sun was setting so the water isn't drying onto the paint.

Afterwards, I go to this plaza/park nearby for my leisurely walk. Since it's a Monday night, there was a sidewalk parking spot free closest to the walk path. So I park there and go on my walk, takes about an hour or so. I'm thinking "oh yea, feelin gud, and I got a clear mind to keep composing when I get home"

But as I walk up to my car, what was pristine white is now completely black and brown. It was covered in a literal torrent of bird poo. HOLY SHIT (lol) I've never seen that much poo on a car in my life. Cars that have been neglected for weeks fare better than this. Not a single inch or panel on the car was spared. It's honestly kind of amazing

Anyways, I'm freaking out at this point... bird shit is acidic and will etch into your paint if left on for a while. So I act like it's no big deal and get in my car but internally I'm screaming hysterically. I drive home....can barely even see the road because that's how much shit there is!!! Parked it on the driveway and scrambled to wash it again. My god, all that poo...fuckin gross. The car's clean again but it's got a lot of water spot since I wasn't about to do a full wash again but also I probably look like an even bigger lunatic to my neighbors...I mean I just washed the car 2 hours ago and now I'm doing it again at 10PM?

So yea, that's what I get for worshiping a false deity


Now your turn.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
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#4
Quote by Pastafarian96
>walk 2 km to get lunch
>only café for 20 km is closed
>sit and silently cry, utterly starving,






Quote by chev311e
my car is silver so

Silver paint is not exempt from the wrath of bird poop......

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#6
Quote by chrismendiola
I shit all over somebody's M235i. I'm waiting for karmic justice.

If that's how you shit you need to see a doctor asap...

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#8
Quote by Asecretchord
your neighbors could have gradually collected bird crap and then dispersed it on your car. do you have anyone in particular who hates you (besides your neighbors) .

chris butthurtmercedesiola up there ^^

Even if they got a bucket of bird shit, the dropping pattern is too "natural" to be dumped from a bucket. No, they would have needed to pray and chant until Jesus himself said "ok enough is enough" and directed all the birds in the world to my car.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 3, 2015,
#9
Quote by Xiaoxi
chris butthurtmercedesiola up there ^^

Even if they got a bucket of bird shit, the dropping pattern is too "natural" to be dumped from a bucket. No, they would have needed to pray and chant until Jesus himself said "ok enough is enough" and directed all the birds in the world to my car.


was your car above a large roof
#10
Under a tree.... classic mistake. But wow... I guess nature calls for birds at 9-10PM.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
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#12
Wonder if they shit on all the cars parked in that spot
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#13
Quote by Xiaoxi at #33531695
chris butthurtmercedesiola up there ^^

I was actually gonna get my Mercedes a new paint job, but maybe I'll try your approach first and just park it under a tree so birds can shit all over it.
Free Ali
#14
I got bad news and punched my computer today. It killed the processor.

It was a really bad day.
#15
Quote by Rossenrot at #33531732
I got bad news and punched my computer today. It killed the processor.

It was a really bad day.

Were you the guy who dismantled HitchBot?
Free Ali
#16
Ok so this happened today, I was taking pics with my phone that I got a few days ago and the phone case kept reflecting the flash so I sat down on a bench to get the phone case off (it was very difficult) and I put it next to me for a second. Some guy came up to the bench, grabbed my phone case and ran off with it

Normally I'd be happy it was the phone case and not my phone but I paid more for the case than for the phone so this was really irritating and I had to go buy another case
cat
#17
Quote by Cardbored
Wonder if they shit on all the cars parked in that spot

You know I was thinking that. I frequent there lots and don't recall other cars being subject to it in that particular spot. I'll have to take a closer look next time...

Quote by chrismendiola
I was actually gonna get my Mercedes a new paint job, but maybe I'll try your approach first and just park it under a tree so birds can shit all over it.

free paint strippin

what color?

I personally would do a dip or wrap. Both can look amazing.

Quote by guitarxo
Ok so this happened today, I was taking pics with my phone that I got a few days ago and the phone case kept reflecting the flash so I sat down on a bench to get the phone case off (it was very difficult) and I put it next to me for a second. Some guy came up to the bench, grabbed my phone case and ran off with it

Normally I'd be happy it was the phone case and not my phone but I paid more for the case than for the phone so this was really irritating and I had to go buy another case

Holy shit!!! Where did this happen?


and also, nini and rossenrot while that sucks I don't think it's quite on a DIVINE SPITE scale...

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 4, 2015,
#18
Quote by Xiaoxi at #33531742
what color?

I personally would do a dip or wrap. Both can look amazing.

Nah, I was just setting up a joke. Is dip like PlastiDip? Like what ricers do? You'll never catch me doing that to a car.

I'm not too bothered about the colour. Besides, I expect to start searching for a different car again come the new year once I get my tax return so I have money for a down payment/make up for depreciation and such.
Free Ali
#19
Quote by chrismendiola
Nah, I was just setting up a joke. Is dip like PlastiDip? Like what ricers do? You'll never catch me doing that to a car.

lol that's what I thought you'd say.

you have no idea the level of quality on dips these days.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#20
Quote by Xiaoxi at #33531753
lol that's what I thought you'd say.

you have no idea the level of quality on dips these days.

You're right, I don't. My idea of PlastiDip are the matte-finish-looking/gradients of many different colours. Even if there are more natural looking finishes, I'm still not interested in the colour of a car all that much, anyway.
Free Ali
#21
Quote by Xiaoxi

Holy shit!!! Where did this happen?


and also, nini and rossenrot while that sucks I don't think it's quite on a DIVINE SPITE scale...


somewhere in admo lol I was looking for a store. if god loved me I would've been born with google maps in my retina or something ok
cat
#23
Quote by chrismendiola
I was actually gonna get my Mercedes a new paint job, but maybe I'll try your approach first and just park it under a tree so birds can shit all over it.


bird post
#25
Quote by chrismendiola
You're right, I don't. My idea of PlastiDip are the matte-finish-looking/gradients of many different colours.
They've got it looking pretty much identical to paint. Of course, has to be done right.


Quote by guitarxo
somewhere in admo lol I was looking for a store. if god loved me I would've been born with google maps in my retina or something ok

Adams Morgan? That sucks!!! DC suuuucccckks!

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#26
Quote by chrismendiola
Were you the guy who dismantled HitchBot?

it was in philly. they were treating it the same way they treat their significant other. kind of touching really.
#29
Quote by The Madcap
lol washing a BMW. Ever heard of polishing a turd?


...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
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#30
Couple weeks ago some shitstain opened his door into my driver's side door and put a big ass dent in it. Like, big ass dent. No idea who did it either, so I'm just kinda stuck with it.
Check out my band Disturbed
#33
Here's my emotional reaction to the entirety of your story:

1) Oh god yes, thank you, thank you, that dude needed to be taken down a notch.
2) Hold up, something really bad could've happened to his car, what kind of person am I?
3) Hahahahahahaha
4) Hahaha
5) Awesome.
#34
Quote by StewieSwan
Couple weeks ago some shitstain opened his door into my driver's side door and put a big ass dent in it. Like, big ass dent. No idea who did it either, so I'm just kinda stuck with it.

Yea fuck those assholes.

Don't know if god put them up to it though...

Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Here's my emotional reaction to the entirety of your story:

1) Oh god yes, thank you, thank you, that dude needed to be taken down a notch.
2) Hold up, something really bad could've happened to his car, what kind of person am I?
3) Hahahahahahaha
4) Hahaha
5) Awesome.


...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 4, 2015,
#35
my car is already a piece of shit so

bmw drivers are terrible at parking

that bird was probably commenting on your crappy parking job

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#37
I sacrificed a white bull to God to ask for his help in making birds cover BMWs in 10 feet of bird shit.

The bastard obviously just got bored.
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Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#38
Its a good thing you have a weekly car wash so all the poo will come off next week
#39
You just walk around the park for an hour, like why.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#40
I don't think this is proof that God hates you, just that you're not very observant about where you park your car (or how to park it ) or, proof that birds are insconsiderate assholes
Quote by SG_dave at #33549256
I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33553650
If you are white, you are scum.
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