thing that i don't get and i'm not smart enough to figure out or organise it so i'm m

#1
aking a thread where I can list the points of what i'm thinking and then we all can learn together

Marriage s often referred to as a religious institution, which it isn't. But I think it only exists, because of religion.

So if you've got a couple who've lived together for ten years, are there any reasons to get married? I'm not smart, so I'm only thinking through this with my elementary mind, but does marriage offer any sort of 'benefit' that could not be received through a lifelong partner? There's probably some weird social economic thing that is exlusive to marriage, but I don't see why marriage gets 'benefits' that a non-married could have?

So at this point I got back to religion. In a way, marriage is primarily descending tradition that came from the earlier religions. But it's different then than it is now.

Abraham (from which three of the larger reliigions come from) had multiple wives. King David (pre beth-sheeba) and Solomon (before Songs of Solomon) both had craploads. like thousands basically. So they're Jewish figures, both very important and iconic. you have the Star of David, you have Solomon's Temple, Solomon is used in fables to show his wisdom, etc. I find that often their large mass of marriage and concubine and orgy and who knows gets brushed under the rug while it's their success that are remembered.

But they still had billions of wives and it wasn't wrong. David gets told off by a prophet and basically says "yo, God gave you a bunch of women, why you gotta kill a guy to get one more?"

So basically I think marriage is about sex. And that's why it's not marriage. Judaic canon has God endorsing plural marriage, same with Islam, and same in some parts of Christianity (the weird creepy ex-mormon cults ugh) all have plural marriages endorsed. So when did we get to the point that you could only have one wife?

It sounds to me that marriage is literally just a word that is used to represent parents of children, and something else that I forgot to write.

(this is when my sleeping pill kicks in, so it's possible that I'll be incoherent and then repost the thread five times)

So really marriage between a man and a woman is dogma from Christianity (and eventually Judaism...I think?), and the reason you get married is the bond and official synergetic relationships. But why marry if you already are at a point where you would propose? Coming from the Christianity aspect (and if I remember correctly, it's kind of the western christian-descendant groups that focus on one man and one woman), it's pretty much to say "don't have sex until you get married" etc.


So for people who aren't religious, why would polygamy be illegal (all giving proof of legal consent)? At that point it's about the sex, which isn't "marriage". And if you can get social and economic equalities from recognised 'long lasting' couples (and even then, maybe not) why would you go through the hassle of marriage, unless it meant something to you? But it would only mean something if you grew up with the idea of marriage being the start of a co-existant relitionship, and it's a social milestone that if you don't hit, will have some vague prejudices.


tl;dr marriage is all about sex so why do we care so much about gay or straight or polygamist marriages? You can be married with someone half a world away, both of you plenty of 'affairs' but neither of you are bothered. So why is the marriage still legal as a 'marriage' at that point, because that would just be a recognition of conjoined economic and social benefits.

anyway, what I'm getting at is marriage is a word that we should use and I think it's inherently western and a bit behind because you don't need to love someone to get married, and you don't have to abuse three of your seven eives, etc. it's all about how freaky people are going to get 50 shades of grey style


anyway that is it thank you for reading but it's likely you didn't read it, so whatever.
These are tings I thought today, so it's very raw and imprecise at some points.
superman is killing himself tonight
#2
yea marriage is pretty cool tbh




#3
Marriage is absolutely a religious institution, but that doesn't make all marriage religious.
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#4
marriage doesn't have to be religious, but that's where it comes from. And perhaps this isn't universally true, but the concept of a second wife (or frien with benefits) is treason in marriage.

So with that I don't understand how marriage can exist as a concept, without the religious influence of no premarital sex, and affairs get you done in.

If you want to have a threesome from the same women, who live in the same house etc, why could that not be marriage? I think (and again not sure) that it comes to the Christian identity of be faithful in marriage.
superman is killing himself tonight
#7
Quote by Baby Joel
marriage doesn't have to be religious, but that's where it comes from.

Are you sure about that?
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#8
Taxes
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#9
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Are you sure about that?

I don't know, that's kind of the purpose of this thread. I have lots of thoughts about it, but I'm not great at making them concise, or factual.


I think it's strange that a man can live in a house with two women and they can do all sorts whatever they want, but the man can't marry both of them

that's kind of a simple way to put my dilemma.
superman is killing himself tonight
#10
TBH, the main benefit to getting married is the provision of a legal framework when the relationship ends, or one partner dies.

Unless you're a Porsche dealer whose clients are mainly wedding arrangers and florists.
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#11
From HIST 101, I remember my professor saying that marriage is traditionally a socioeconomic thing and that they were traditionally arranged for purposes that weren't "love." What he said was something about how it was completely normal to have a spouse and someone on the side whom you loved and with whom you had children. Also, romantic love had roots from the time when knights were knocking about the country, and that chivalry had something to do with feelings for the queen or whatever.

I don't remember much, the guy talked really fast and I was more interested in his humour.
Free Ali
#13
Marriage was established before there were popular monotheistic religions. The origin of marriage was really due to the fact that people wanted to keep track of lineage aka; know who fathered whom of all the kids running around. It was also political to marry between Oligarchies.

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TBH, the main benefit to getting married is the provision of a legal framework when the relationship ends, or one partner dies.


I married my wife mostly so I could pass along my unused education benefits to her from the military, and so she could share in on my cheap life and health insurance because I love that hoe.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#14
I don't know how many claims I should be making about marriage since, well, I've never been married. My own thoughts are that there are lots of people who are married for years and remain total strangers, cluster B assholes pretending for their own sense of game, etc. But the valuable thing that I think it offers is proximity. A long-term back and forth between two people, shortening the distance between them over time. Someone you can trust to be with you at your absolute lowest, most pathetic points of life. Who trusts you with the same. Yeah, it's a "religious institution", but it's being redefined into something of more human value.


Polygamy: depends on the kind. I don't think it should be illegal, I don't actually know why. But it can be used in extremely harmful ways. Like the abusive and dependent kind, especially with religious cultures.
#15
Quote by JustRooster

I married my wife mostly so I could pass along my unused education benefits to her from the military, and so she could share in on my cheap life and health insurance because I love that hoe.

:')
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#16
real facts marriage was about ensuring patrilineality
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#17
for 'merica, marriage tradition means that it is bible-god ordained. for 'merica now, bible-god ordaining can't happen with some of the marriage's parameters contradicting scripture. and what is viewed as contradiction is sometimes relative, although it shouldn't be. so it is a mess.

so marriage now needs to be redefined as not needing bible-god priests (or any god) to confirm it.
#19
Quote by Baby Joel
so it's very raw and imprecise at some points.


best kind of sex

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#23
i'm just gonna wait until you post this exact same thread tomorrow and then maybe I'll have an answer
#24
I'm married. I loathe all religions, especially the anti-human Abrahamic ones, Islam, Christianity and Judaism.

Marriage is not a religious institution; it is NOTHING to do with religion. Marriage is a personal bond between two people. It's simply a promise, a betrothal to one person. It pre-dates their bullshit holy books.

Like so many other things (e.g. morality) religion has hijacked marriage.

We had a secular marriage: no church, no religious music, prayers, verse, etc. Jesus was never on the guest list, probably to the chagrin of my God-bothering friends and relatives.
Last edited by Jehannum at Aug 8, 2015,
#25
Quote by Jehannum at #33539082

Jesus was never on the guest list



FYI he's pissed. he called me up and vented about it for like an hour