#1
Okay, here's some lyrics I wrote. Took about an hour. I'm new to songwriting so I'd love to hear feedback. Thanks

THE TREE

There is a tree
Atop the knoll
Down that lonely road
We'd so often stroll

And under its shade
We'd sit and laugh at the world going by
Wondering how long
It had stood and teased the sky

Now without you to stay
It withers alone
Already dead inside
A shell of the known

INSTRUMENTAL

There is a tree
Just over the way
We planted after
The world fell away

A sapling of you
We plucked from the brittle shell
Only the best
We hope you can tell

INSTRUMENTAL

I wish one day
After I am gone
Under its shade
Brothers will laugh at the world going on…

If you are interested, this song is a story I came up with by merging two sad events that happened in real life. First, a big century old oak tree down the road from my house that my brother and my friends always used to go to and play cricket and football and stuff (fond memories) has an incurable disease and is slowly dying. Secondly, a childhood friend of mine had an older brother who was murdered tragically and a tree was planted at his funeral in memory. So this song is sort of about loss and rebirth I suppose.
#5
very cool song! loved the imagery and the sentimental quality of it as a whole. It tells a great story. keep it up!
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
#6
I think this works really well.
perhaps a couple of words feel forced where you tried for a rhyme.
All in all a great effort!
#8
I think you should have a go @ writing more songs.
If this is your first, your potential is limitless.
go for it!