#1
and it all looks like decay / foamy bubbling
chokes beneath the tidal bore; my mouth my

flesh. and fingertips / to i feel all these canines;
begin the tearing off of skin


-


blood and seemed more than it was, write. death the anti-art /
heart and guts, cut and strung out,
write: i am death i am


archaic infantile


-


avulsion is here / is the umbilical cord,
ersatz attach to placenta


nuchal cord plugged into a dusty generator


nuchal cord plugged into a failing generator


more morbid shit

starting to think i should stop writing things like this, on the other hand it keeps me a ghost in this forum. my entire existence is ironically sardonic. i don't fucking care what anyone thinks anymore. alcohol is a disease of society
Last edited by Dregen at Aug 23, 2015,
#2
hey you should consider a journal for drunk poems so you can post them here later if you want but can withhold if not

not that I don't love your drunk poems or anything, just saying it might make things more satisfying for you
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#3
I really like this, packed full of incredible moments like "tidal bore" and anti-art / heart" and "i am death" tucked in the shadow of a middle stanza.

Maybe the spacing needs a bit more attention, I'm not getting anything particularly cohesive from it - play with more extremes or divide this into separate parts maybe?

Also on the same lines as vintagexmetal, I'd like to see you collect more of this kind of stuff and release it together.
#4
I think this is my favorite of what ive read from you.

the umbilical cord into the generator part is interesting, human into machine. (metal as hell)
#5
thank you all

Quote by vintage x metal
hey you should consider a journal for drunk poems so you can post them here later if you want but can withhold if not

not that I don't love your drunk poems or anything, just saying it might make things more satisfying for you


yeah, i've been considering it now for most of the day. even if it's as simple as a little blogspot website or something, or just cataloging it on my computer. mostly depends on how these next few days go because i'm in the middle of figuring out my living situation.

i would do it on paper, but i use the internet as a resource for a lot of my stuff (dictionary, thesaurus, wikipedia + other reference materials)

Quote by doubtfulsalmon
I really like this, packed full of incredible moments like "tidal bore" and anti-art / heart" and "i am death" tucked in the shadow of a middle stanza.

Maybe the spacing needs a bit more attention, I'm not getting anything particularly cohesive from it - play with more extremes or divide this into separate parts maybe?

Also on the same lines as vintagexmetal, I'd like to see you collect more of this kind of stuff and release it together.


i thought the spacing was a problem too, so i'll definitely go over it and see what i can do

also maybe i'll try to get a little chapbook together someday- or more likely i'll probably just make an e-book or something and release it for free. but i don't have enough related material of good quality to make one at this moment

Quote by Magnumopus7001
I think this is my favorite of what ive read from you.

the umbilical cord into the generator part is interesting, human into machine. (metal as hell)


almost think i should just sell this shit to death metal bands for lyrics <.< lol
Last edited by Dregen at Aug 20, 2015,