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#1
sooo my girlfriend is about to bring me to the beach tomorrow. what do I do? Like are there any things to watch out for??? Thankss
#2
Indigenous murder creatures of the sea.

Oh, and dudebros.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#3
Mudcrabs. They're more fearsome than you.
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders
#4
A girlfriend that takes you to the beach is like when you bring your old dog to the woods. You're gonna be put down, son.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#6
sand creates uncomfortable friction and firmness that in general, is kind of stupid to do anything on sand except like beach volley ball or osmehting
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#7
Quote by Baby Joel at #33559579
sand creates uncomfortable friction and firmness that in general, is kind of stupid to do anything on sand except like beach volley ball or osmehting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi5jjXTPtyY
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#8
note the "it gets everywhere" part
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#9
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Maintain an erection from the moment you arrive until you leave.



STAY OUT OF MY MIND!!
#10
Watch out for sharks, I heard they hate boyfriends
Quote by SG_dave at #33549256
I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33553650
If you are white, you are scum.
#13
Look out for a talking sponge, I hear it knows karate.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#14
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Maintain an erection from the moment you arrive until you leave.

I don't think its a good idea to having your dick looking like a fish in the water in front of bigger fish.
#15
Quote by Baby Joel at #33559597
note the "it gets everywhere" part

Yeah, but being clean is overr8ted. Especially with ur gf

Unless ur showering together, which u can do after coming back from the beach covered in sand
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#16
Chestbump musclebound shirtless dudes. Preferably ones that are oiled and wearing a speedo. Also be sure to get a lot of grab-assing in while you're there.
GEEYUR :

X) Schecter Tempest Custom f/w SD SH-6

X) Ibanez RG321MH f/w SD SH-11

X) AMT Pangea CP-100 ( AWWW YIS )

X) Line 6 POD HD 500X


When you licky-bum-bum so hard you get sticky num-nums.
#17
Quote by 剣 斧 血 at #33559557
Mudcrabs. They're more fearsome than you.


Yeah, they're fearsome as hell.
Bass Gear:

Mensinger: Speesy
Fender Precision 1989 (CIJ Rosewood)
Fender Steve Harris (CIJ)
Lakland J Sonic 5
Epiphone Explorer
Maruszczyk (custom) Jake

Ashdown CTM 100
#19
Don't stare at the kids.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#21
Quote by metaldud536
I don't think its a good idea to having your dick looking like a fish in the water in front of bigger fish.

I'd be more worried if his smelled like fish. Given the content of the OP, that seems unlikely.
#23
I know a guy called Neil who's gonna be there. He's not as angry as he looks. If you see him, tell him I said I have those new frames for his pictures.
#25
tip #1: put on some suncreen
tip #2: bring a beach blanket to lay on the sand
tip #3. It's just seaweed don't freak out
tip #4: Do not get sea water in your orifices or eyes
#26
Quote by 剣 斧 血
Mudcrabs. They're more fearsome than you.

I saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures.

Quote by CL/\SH
Watch out for sharks, I heard they hate boyfriends

I agree watch out for sharks, but not because they hate boyfriends; they can smell the menstruation. You should ask her in advance how heavy her flow is to be safe. This may also be where the boyfriend-hating misconception comes from, since they are likely to see you as a competing predator and eat you first.
#28
Quote by UltimateGuizar
Be sure to point out all the hot chicks on the beach to her that you'd bang.
Chicks love that kind of shit.


So apparently in Slovenia it's a common thing for girls to go topless on the beach. I had no idea and I'd never seen anything like that before. So my girlfriend who I'm visiting takes me to the beach for the first time I freak the **** out and I'm like - THERES. NAKED GIRLS. HERE. and she's like yeah I know? don't stare they'll notice. and i'm like THEY'RE NAKED i couldn't handle it
Death comes as the harsh victory of the law of our ancestors over the dimension of our becoming ~monsieur dupont, Nihilist Communism

please listen to Dingo and TRON MAXIMUM !!
#29
Quote by LauraMarx
So apparently in Slovenia it's a common thing for girls to go topless on the beach. I had no idea and I'd never seen anything like that before. So my girlfriend who I'm visiting takes me to the beach for the first time I freak the **** out and I'm like - THERES. NAKED GIRLS. HERE. and she's like yeah I know? don't stare they'll notice. and i'm like THEY'RE NAKED i couldn't handle it


Topless beaches are a fairly typical thing in alot of places.
I went to the Dominican Republic and was met with the same shock. Then my fiancée deleted all my TnA pictures.

Funny story: i had a 70yr old bleached blond russian woman who was topless who would always swim really close to me in the ocean, every single time i went out!!!!!
#30
don't try and bond with me over girls dick savage
Death comes as the harsh victory of the law of our ancestors over the dimension of our becoming ~monsieur dupont, Nihilist Communism

please listen to Dingo and TRON MAXIMUM !!
#31
Quote by LauraMarx
don't try and bond with me over girls dick savage



Hell, i was just educating you a little and making good conversation. Is that against the rules?
#32
Quote by Dick Savage
Hell, i was just educating you a little and making good conversation. Is that against the rules?


Matthew 7:6
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#33
Quote by Arby911
Matthew 7:6


What exactly are you suggesting? That she isnt worthy? Or i am a liar?
#36
Quote by Dick Savage
What exactly are you suggesting? That she isnt worthy? Or i am a liar?


I'm suggesting you're casting pearls before swine, which is what the passage is most famously known for.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#37
Quote by Arby911
I'm suggesting you're casting pearls before swine, which is what the passage is most famously known for.

Having a wank on a pig farm?
#38
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Having a wank on a pig farm?


Although it's unlikely the original author had that thought in mind, it's not that much of a stretch, given the value, punishment and admonishment given to believers via the story of Onan.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#39
Sharks. And tornadoes. Tornadoes that lift up the sharks and toss them on the beach. I saw a documentary or something about that. Nasty stuff.
#40
Quote by slapsymcdougal at #33559964



yup that's a beach bear if i ever saw one.


tough sons of bitches they are
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