Ever Nearly Killed Someone While Driving(And It Really Wouldn't Have Been Your Fault)

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#1
I was on my way to a show on sunday and i needed to get into another lane.

Signal

Check Mirrors

Check Blind Spot

Start moving over... aaaaaaand dick on a chopper with his gross old wife/girlfriend fly up from behind me and almost get wrecked by the side of my dad's Element.

the lady waved her hands at me like it was my fault.

then they proceeded to weave in and out of traffic.

kind of wish i had hit them. if they'd survived they'd have at least been in the ICU.
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#2
They were in a hurry, they were late to being a statistic
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#3
yeah, i don't like driving in the city anymore because people move about like they have a death wish (2 or 4 wheels doesnt matter, all insane).
#4
A little kid literally lunged towards my friends car while jaywalking with his family. It looked like he did it on purpose as a joke but **** that kid almost got himself splatted. Hope he got a stern talking to
#5
i forgot to mention this was on a major highway.

we're talking 70 mph.

those turds probably wouldn't have had any skin left.

(also the other day, although it was slightly my fault, i pulled out at an intersection when i probably shouldn't have because this guy was putting along and taking forever. instead of braking, he accelerated and nearly t-boned me.)
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#6
>getting off ramp onto highway
>merging
>car behind speeds to go around and get in front of me as we're merging

I have no idea what the fuck they were thinking
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


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#7
Quote by Momentosis
I have no idea what the fuck they were thinking

that they're the most important person in the world, probably.

like the piece of shit my friend witnessed park his car in the middle of an exit ramp, (not even on the shoulder. dead in the middle of the road, blocking traffic.) get out, and put the top back up on his convertible.

guy could have really used some roadside tire iron justice right there.
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#8
This morning, some POS prius driving cunt starts drifting into my lane and car from the right without a thought, and no blinkers on of course because this is MD where people are allergic to such a thing. I honked the shit out of him and he had a totally expressionless face like it was nothing.

Just another day in MD.

I seriously want all these cocksuckers dead.


Not kidding: As I was passing a slew of SUV-driving fat fucks cruising in the left lane earlier... I started seriously thinking of ways to install a LED sign in the back that I can activate to say "You don't deserve to drive, cunt." I think it would be immensely satisfying. Does anyone know if such a product exist?

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 21, 2015,
#9
Quote by Momentosis at #33561727
>getting off ramp onto highway
>merging
>car behind speeds to go around and get in front of me as we're merging

I have no idea what the fuck they were thinking

How insensitive dude. If they slowed down to stay behind you they would have been a WHOLE car behind you. That's what they were thinking.
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#11
Quote by Xiaoxi
This morning, some POS prius driving cunt starts drifting into my lane and car from the right without a thought, and no blinkers on of course because this is MD where people are allergic to such a thing. I honked the shit out of him and he had a totally expressionless face like it was nothing.

Just another day in MD.

I seriously want all these cocksuckers dead.


Not kidding: As I was passing a slew of SUV-driving fat fucks cruising in the left lane earlier... I started seriously thinking of ways to install a LED sign in the back that I can activate to say "You don't deserve to drive, cunt." I think it would be immensely satisfying. Does anyone know if such a product exist?



Typical BMW driver. Probably driving like an arsehole and blaming everyone else
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


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#12
Quote by Xiaoxi
This morning, some POS prius driving cunt starts drifting into my lane and car from the right without a thought, and no blinkers on of course because this is MD where people are allergic to such a thing. I honked the shit out of him and he had a totally expressionless face like it was nothing.

Just another day in MD.

I seriously want all these cocksuckers dead.

not far from NJ or anywhere, really.

i got stuck behind some POS last night doing 40 in a 50

FOR EV ERR

then they turned off without signalling.

or braking.

because they were apparently going slow enough to turn without braking.

i'm gonna end all these "bitch about driving" posts with confessions about dumb things i've done while driving. like this morning when i was so out of it i drove halfway to work with my highbeams on before someone returned the favor.

Quote by Xiaoxi
Not kidding: As I was passing a slew of SUV-driving fat fucks cruising in the left lane earlier... I started seriously thinking of ways to install a LED sign in the back that I can activate to say "You don't deserve to drive, cunt." I think it would be immensely satisfying. Does anyone know if such a product exist?

i vaguely remember my uncle telling me about a "Seymour Butts" thing he had in his car that mooned people behind him when he pulled a string or something.
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Last edited by jakesmellspoo at Aug 21, 2015,
#13
Earlier today, somebody drove into a business drive way from the opposite side of a main road and forced me to brake suddenly. He never even saw me. He was too busy looking at the building to notice he nearly hit me.
Free Ali
#14
Quote by Ed Hunter
Typical BMW driver. Probably driving like an arsehole and blaming everyone else



Of course he's a bad driver. I mean....Xiaoxi. Come on.
Check out my band Disturbed
#15
Quote by jakesmellspoo
i vaguely remember my uncle telling me about a "Seymour Butts" thing he had in his car that mooned people behind him when he pulled a string or something.


i have that.
it's sitting in my towel closet
#16
Quote by Xiaoxi
This morning, some POS prius driving cunt starts drifting into my lane and car from the right without a thought, and no blinkers on of course because this is MD where people are allergic to such a thing. I honked the shit out of him and he had a totally expressionless face like it was nothing.

Just another day in MD.

I seriously want all these cocksuckers dead.


Not kidding: As I was passing a slew of SUV-driving fat fucks cruising in the left lane earlier... I started seriously thinking of ways to install a LED sign in the back that I can activate to say "You don't deserve to drive, cunt." I think it would be immensely satisfying. Does anyone know if such a product exist?



http://www.amazon.com/Leadleds-Larger-Window-Message-Moving/dp/B00MIQ4DHA
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#17
I was at the traffic lights once in town on a Saturday night around 1-2am driving home with a group of friends when I got a green arrow to turn right. Some dumb drunk bitch decided to run across the street that I was turning into and ran into the side of my car as I was entering the street.

Because of the lights of the cars in that street blinding me I couldn't see her crossing at all until she hit my car, we were going about 10kph so it wasn't fast. We pulled over and saw she got up, then one of her mates, some big ass dude started swearing and was running towards us.

I thought he was gonna kill me so we hopped back in the car and high tailed it. No regrets. Really wasn't my fault.

Another time my mate and I were waiting on a traffic island to cross and this chick drove over the traffic island running over my mate whilst I kinda MacGyver slided off the bonnet to safety. I could see as she was driving over the traffic island she had both hands off the steering wheel holding her face. What the heck was she thinking?
#18
It would never not be my fault, I'm a terrible driver that endangers people on a daily basis but its pretty much inpossible to survive in the US without a car if you dont live in the city so lol i'll kill someone eventually no big deal
#19
I've seen many a bad driver but the worst/strangest was this one time going to work a couple years ago. It was little before 6am and i get behind this guy at a light about to turn left onto main road. There's really no one else on the road since it was early and in the summer. anyways, this dude puts his reverse lights on and starts backing up at me. so im like, okay ill honk and he'll stop but he kept coming! so just before he hits me i get my car in reverse and start going in reverse, thinking he's gonna stop. but NO, he keeps on coming and at an even faster pace! so now im basically flooring it in reverse not looking behind me because im so freaked out/ just not trying to get hit. btw im also still blaring my horn as im in reverse.

eventually he stopped after about 5 seconds of doing this, slowly pulled up to the light, the light turned green, and he went on his way. i just stayed there for a bit trying to grasp what happened. amazingly i didn't hit anything while going in reverse. i still don't know wtf that was or who it was or why someone would do that.
#20
i was riding with a friend back from another friends house at like 3 in the morning, and some chucklefuck decided it would be a good time to go for a jog down a hilly street wearing exclusively dark clothing

dorklord would have gotten proper schmangled if we didnt swerve
#22
none of you ungrateful ****s understand what it is to drive in south FL every single damn day
pinga
#23
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chucklefuck
love that expression
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I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
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If you are white, you are scum.
#24
Quote by Ed Hunter
Typical BMW driver. Probably driving like an arsehole and blaming everyone else

shitty ass prius driver detected


Quote by jakesmellspoo
not far from NJ or anywhere, really.

i got stuck behind some POS last night doing 40 in a 50

FOR EV ERR

then they turned off without signalling.

or braking.

because they were apparently going slow enough to turn without braking.
Nice thing about Jersey (perhaps the only nice thing ) is that the police actually somewhat enforce the "left lane for passing" rule.

i vaguely remember my uncle telling me about a "Seymour Butts" thing he had in his car that mooned people behind him when he pulled a string or something.

LOL


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Hmmm... is my road rage worth $259....

I think I'll start saving up

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#25
Going through a two lane roundabout no stoplights, just a little one in a small town. Me, going through at ~20 mph. I stop at the yield sign because a guy is going around the bout. The young girl behind me, tries to pass me at the last second and almost gets t-boned.
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#26
Quote by Xiaoxi

Just another day in MD.

I don't know how bad they are as a whole where you live, but literally every Maryland tag that somehow finds its way into my corner of Northern Virginia basically tries to get everyone killed on the road. Going too slow (I'm not even a speeder, we're talking 20 under), changing lanes numerous times without actually advancing anywhere, and most of all, running red lights. Like holy shit, you can wait 2 minutes to get through a light, don't be a dick and risk the lives of others.
#27
I've nearly been killed and/or killed someone else too many times while driving. Most of the times not being my fault. A few weeks ago, I was driving my friends back from a concert and a semi truck literally exploded in front of us on the opposite side of the highway. Like, it was normal, and then all of the sudden the entire thing was in flames. The poor bastard started pulling into the middle of the highway but overshot it and almost ended up pulling into our lane, but I did a quick swerve maneuver and saved us from the flaming truck of Doom.
#28
Once i was driving doing 60ks down a main rd, when some old oblivious idiot pulls out of a side street in front of me to turn onto the othersode of the road and then just sits in the middle of my lane waiting for a gap in traffic on the otherside. I had to stop and wait for him to move. Its like he didnteven knpw I was there.

And another time some fking drongo overtook me in a backstreet ROUND a corner, if there was someone coming from the other direction they would have smashed head on.

Just to balance this out, once when I was learning to drive, I was trying to turn onto the opposite side of a two lane road from a sidestreet. I thought there was a gap so I started going, but then noticed a black car that was obscured by bushes from the Side street. I had to stop in the turning lane in the middle of the rd. Not my best moment, especially when two cars had to swerve around me to turn
#29
Quote by Skullivan
Going too slow (I'm not even a speeder, we're talking 20 under), changing lanes numerous times without actually advancing anywhere, and most of all, running red lights.

Hmm... sounds too familiar... sounds like... MD

VA drivers however, love love LOVE strolling in the left lane. It is seriously uncanny. However, if nothing else they are at least predictable and stay where they are. MD drivers is chaos made manifest.

I've actually developed something of a Spidey sense for how shit they're gonna be. I was on the outside lane heading into a highway onramp with this van in the inner lane. I swear...just had a FEELING that this fuck worthless bitch was gonna do something stupid...no obvious signs, just pure intuition. SURE ENOUGH...RIGHT at the corner of the on ramp, cocksucker realizes "OH NOPE I DONT WANNA TAKE THIS" and jerks into my lane. He forces us off both into the runoff area where I calmly progressive brake and saved HIS ass. Of course his life is worthless, I was just protecting my car... the Toyota lol. I just anticipated it and let him go a bit ahead in case he was going to pull the shit he did.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 21, 2015,
#30
Quote by Xiaoxi at #33561912
Hmm... sounds too familiar... sounds like... MD

VA drivers however, love love LOVE strolling in the left lane. It is seriously uncanny. However, if nothing else they are at least predictable and stay where they are. MD drivers is chaos made manifest.

I've actually developed something of a Spidey sense for how shit they're gonna be. I was on the outside lane heading into a highway onramp with this van in the inner lane. I swear...just had a FEELING that this fuck worthless bitch was gonna do something stupid...no obvious signs, just pure intuition. SURE ENOUGH...RIGHT at the corner of the on ramp, cocksucker realizes "OH NOPE I DONT WANNA TAKE THIS" and jerks into my lane. He forces us off both into the runoff area where I calmly progressive brake and saved HIS ass. Of course his life is worthless, I was just protecting my car... the Toyota lol. I just anticipated it and let him in front of me in case he was going to pull the shit he did.



should've just rammed him until he died
#31
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
should've just rammed him until he died

I came within like a meter of T boning his worthless life out.

The weird thing is I didn't rage or anything at that moment. I didn't even honk him. I just pulled back onto the ramp. It was bizarre.

Of course, thinking back on it, I want to beat his face to a pulp.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Last edited by Xiaoxi at Aug 21, 2015,
#32
Quote by Xiaoxi

VA drivers however, love love LOVE strolling in the left lane. It is seriously uncanny. However, if nothing else they are at least predictable and stay where they are.

Yeah idk how the left lane became the slow lane. Middle is almost always faster, right lanes are undriveable because nobody actually knows where they're turning at.
#33
Quote by Skullivan
Yeah idk how the left lane became the slow lane. Middle is almost always faster, right lanes are undriveable because nobody actually knows where they're turning at.

Mmm in my experience in NoVa it's been more like "hey you're in the middle and i'm in the left... let's form an impenetrable wall together!"

In MD all the idiots go into the left lane thinking it's gonna be faster when they're all morons causing a traffic jam. Surprisingly, it leaves the RIGHT lane wide open quite often. I take what I can get.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#34
I was rear-ended when stopped at a red light by some tourists during highschool. Totaled the car, and done at a speed that could possibly have seriously injured -- let alone killed -- all 4 of us. Was an interesting day in court.
.
#37
Quote by jakesmellspoo
I was on my way to a show on sunday and i needed to get into another lane.

Signal

Check Mirrors

Check Blind Spot

Start moving over... aaaaaaand dick on a chopper with his gross old wife/girlfriend fly up from behind me and almost get wrecked by the side of my dad's Element.

the lady waved her hands at me like it was my fault.

then they proceeded to weave in and out of traffic.

kind of wish i had hit them. if they'd survived they'd have at least been in the ICU.

good for you.
I was driving my Oldsmobile station wagon when the speed limit was 65 on state roads.
I was traveling north on a highway that parallels the Mississippi River I can't remember the number of the road. Out of crowd of people a little girl runs right in front of me. I have one second to judge what to do. I could see if I maneuvered to my left I would run into her because she was running fast so I went off the road a little, to my right. She was running from my right to my left. If she would've seen me and froze she would've been roadkill. Luckily she kept on running fast as I maneuvered to my right. A girl who was in the car with me screamed at the top of her lungs. It was that close. She thought she was going to see that little girls living guts splattered. I've made other heroic emergency maneuvers to prevent death and destruction. But this is enough for now thank you.
Last edited by yope at Aug 22, 2015,
#38
A few years ago some dude was walking down the street on the pavement. Without looking, he steps into the road to go around someone just as I am about to pass him. I had to time to really react as he did it as I was literally a few feet from him (I was doing 25 mph because the road was not wide enough to do 30 safely). I almost clipped him with the wing mirror but I missed him by inches. I steered to avoid, and thank god there were no cars in the opposite lane, otherwise it would have been a head on collision. People, please check behind you when you intend to step into the road. I cant stop on a dime. If I hit you, thats it man, game over.

I ride motorbikes too and I was nearly killed by an inattentive driver who overtook me on a blind bend, saw a lorry coming and swerved back in. I had already been on the brakes by then so he missed me by a few feet, but had I not been paying attention I would be dead.

Still... Some dumb bint did knock me off my motorbike. She hit me from behind on a roundabout when I was stopped to let a van go by (his right of way). She was on her phone and "didnt see me." I was on a bike ****ing bike wearing bright green fluourescent jacket and it was a bright day. Fractured my facet joints, hairline fracture in 5 vertebrae and a concussion. She hit me at 30 and I rolled off the car.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#39
Quote by Xiaoxi
shitty ass prius driver detected



Wrong. Angry small man BMW driver detected.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


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#40
Only things I've almost killed have been animals at night and I feel like such a bad person afterwards. Like this dumb grey cat was sleeping in the road last night and I didn't see it till it jumped up as I was like probably 10 feet away ( not that far when on a 55mph road) and I nearly had a heart attack.

Though I did have some asshole merge onto the interstate, I was in the furthest left lane and he came all the way over and almost slammed into my car before he realized he wasn't paying even a tiny bit of attention to what the fuck he was doing.
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