#1
So this is something I've had kicking around for a little while, and I wanted some opinions on it. This is the first thing I've written that I haven't 100% hated immediately after writing. Let me know what you think and how I can improve, I'm very new to songwriting.

You wake up in the morning begging for sleep.
You force yourself up but you've had enough
Of these day ins and day outs
Watching life pass you by.
You promise that this year won't be like the last.
But with no signs of progress,
Still stuck on the past.

Just tell yourself
It's safer to be alone.
It's safer to feel nothing at all.
It's safer to hide and safer to die.
It's safer to not even try.

Your friendships all fizzled out
But what can you say?
"Man, we just grew apart."
Introversion comes easy when you only run in place.
A look so obvious emblazoned on your face.
You promise yourself this year won't be like the last.
But still there's no progress,
You're still stuck on the past.

Keep telling yourself
It's safer to be alone.
It's safer to feel nothing at all.
It's safer to hide and safer to die.
But I swear would it kill you to try?

(I may add a bridge here)

But I just tell myself
It'd be safer to be alone.
It'd be safer to feel nothing at all.
It'd be safer to hide, just give up and die.
But I think that I may want to try.
#2
Pretty decent. Good job. I like changing "me" to "you" and vice a versa. Not much more to say.
Last edited by EtotheG at Aug 22, 2015,
#3
The directness is good but it's a little vague. maybe describe a place or a character. Here's an example of some pretty good emo-acoustic lyrics "I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a ****ing song and
I'm sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can't wait." Notice that there's more specific lyrics but it's still not on a name by name basis. Maybe write it in a more linear fashion, like a specific story that causes the depression that you describe or an interaction that has suffered because of it.