#1
there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides
#5
Nah the squire from the third kingdom would've got his arse kicked

Also this is such a 2005 #DadEmail

Can we make this a #DadEmail thread?

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#7
Ling is Emperor silly

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#9
Ling Yao that is

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#11
Ling Yao is also fictional m8

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#13
So who's not fictional because your Ling is from Dynasty Warriors

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#14
Quote by EndTheRapture51
So who's not fictional because your Ling is from Dynasty Warriors

>thinking dynasty warriors is fictional and not romanticized history.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#15
Xu Shu best character, omnislash every 15 seconds.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#16
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Nah the squire from the third kingdom would've got his arse kicked

Also this is such a 2005 #DadEmail

Can we make this a #DadEmail thread?


Lol all the dad emails I got were 'let's kill all the hispanics'
#17
The moral of the story is not to read OPs that are more than like 100 words.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#18
Quote by Bladez22
the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have.

So their only recourse of action is to murder each other over it? That's fucking stupid.

How about they put their heads together and find ways to sustain and monitor the usage and ecosystem of their shared lake so that their children have a resource to use and pass down? I understand this doesn't make the Blood-God happy at all, but sometimes you've just gotta be reasonable to survive.
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#20
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Nah the squire from the third kingdom would've got his arse kicked

Also this is such a 2005 #DadEmail

Can we make this a #DadEmail thread?

My dad once sent me the following joke in an email.

How do you have sex with a fat girl?

Wank in your hand and throw it at her.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#22
Before we start talking about triangles again, I feel I should point out that this is clearly a three kingdoms thread.

Let's talk about why Cao Cao's morality is victim to the ever present chinese historical bias.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you