#1
Hi, does this count as resurrecting an old thread?

Oh well, a while ago I shared some melody thing I'd written and was told to work on phrasing. I have been a busy little bee in the meantime so here are my 2nd and 3rd forays into melody writing.

Note: In response to comments, I've done new versions of both, which can be found by following the same link below. Still a bit messy but oh well.

Listen and Judge. Or don't, up to you.

The formidable forays VERSION 2
Last edited by Serotonite at Sep 3, 2015,
#2
shouldn't this be in original recordings or something

it's okay i guess, it's not really going anywhere though
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#3
My God, I never noticed Original Recordings. I made a stupid sorry.

IDK if I can move it but I'll get on that.
#4
Cool man, I would take those ideas and try to make it into something more along a full song format now to get the most out of it
#5
Good idea to put your tracks up for opinion.

Clearly, these are sketches (especially the 2nd one) ... can you multitrack? To try out a few ideas against each other.

As they stand, the timing on the first one gradually speeds up. Intentional? But progression is nice ... but try and vary the voicing some more.

If that's to turn into a song, I'd like to hear another section at least.
You should set yourself to writre a melody against it.

The playing right now sounds "polite", a bit emotionally flat, not enough "feeling" coming through. I suspect that's a lot to do with being aware you're recording yourself. Go for it!!
#6
Quote by jerrykramskoy
Clearly, these are sketches (especially the 2nd one) ... can you multitrack? To try out a few ideas against each other.


I don't think I will be able to mutitrack at the moment (beyond my technological capabilities atm) but I have shared some melody ideas and chord sequences with my guitar teacher and he sometimes improvises over them/gives advice and such.

Quote by jerrykramskoy
As they stand, the timing on the first one gradually speeds up. Intentional? But progression is nice ... but try and vary the voicing some more.

If that's to turn into a song, I'd like to hear another section at least.
You should set yourself to writre a melody against it.


The tempo speed-up is deliberate but I don't think I emphasised it enough in the recording, it has a repetitive structure so having it crescendo in terms of speed (and probably volume) would stop it from getting boring.

I was thinking of putting some chords/vocals/other instruments over it to vary it up a bit, but I agree, it definitely needs a bridge or something. I was thinking of maybe playing something with a similar rhythm but in different places to keep it familiar but interesting as it goes on. Right now its all capo on the 2nd fret but it also sounds nice higher up, so I might have a bridge in a higher position.

Quote by jerrykramskoy
The playing right now sounds "polite", a bit emotionally flat, not enough "feeling" coming through. I suspect that's a lot to do with being aware you're recording yourself. Go for it!!


Yeah, I'm still very much a beginner when it comes to guitar playing (only started in June) but I'm sure as I practice them and refine them more I should be able to play them confidently with more feeling. Thanks for the feedback
#7
Melody 5, if you only want this to be a single guitar track, i think you just need to throw in a few more techniques before the rests.

maybe think about adding in a harmony later on in the song, doing that same picking style to build onto the vibe.

i don't feel like this playing is emotionless. you have picking down very well, and i think you enjoy it so much, and feel so emotional while playing in your own realm, that you dont take a breath before and while you play, and wander outside of your comfort zone,. relax a bit, try throwing on a second guitar to your music. you call these tracks melody, but it seems more like it would be the rhythm, if you threw on some single sustained lead guitar notes to help carry the composition. keep it classy, it sounds very peaceful and personal.
#9
Quote by sadplanet
Melody 5, if you only want this to be a single guitar track, i think you just need to throw in a few more techniques before the rests.

maybe think about adding in a harmony later on in the song, doing that same picking style to build onto the vibe.

i don't feel like this playing is emotionless. you have picking down very well, and i think you enjoy it so much, and feel so emotional while playing in your own realm, that you dont take a breath before and while you play, and wander outside of your comfort zone,. relax a bit, try throwing on a second guitar to your music. you call these tracks melody, but it seems more like it would be the rhythm, if you threw on some single sustained lead guitar notes to help carry the composition. keep it classy, it sounds very peaceful and personal.


I agree that on their own, they sound a bit...thin. They're sort of the basis for some acoustic tracks with various other instruments (I want to start a band but I don't really have any members). I would try recording each part and editing them together but I don't actually play most of the instruments.

Neither are mean't to be single guitar tracks really. Melody 5 is intended to have a second guitar, a bass guitar, a violin or a cello perhaps and most importantly, vocals, some form of drum too possibly, so there would just be silence when I move up the capo.

I have played the other one with my guitar teacher, he liked it and we recorded a version with some chords played on his guitar and it sounds pretty good imo. I'll try and get him to send me the recording actually.

Thanks for the feedback
#10
This is beautiful And you said you were not nearly as good :P. Such an ambient feel to it Both Melody 4 and 5. Personal fav- Melody 5 its so good. Keep up the work bro!
#11
Quote by Iwalkalone11
This is beautiful And you said you were not nearly as good :P. Such an ambient feel to it Both Melody 4 and 5. Personal fav- Melody 5 its so good. Keep up the work bro!


Thanks man! really glad you like it you're right about the ambient feel. That is the atmosphere I was going for, a very natural sound. I don't have a name for it yet, but I was thinking just calling it 'Rain' as I was intending to translate the sound of raindrops in a forest to music.
Last edited by Serotonite at Sep 3, 2015,
#13
Quote by Serotonite
Thanks man! really glad you like it you're right about the ambient feel. That is the atmosphere I was going for, a very natural sound. I don't have a name for it yet, but I was thinking just calling it 'Rain' as I was intending to translate the sound of raindrops in a forest to music.


sounds really interesting ^^
#14
https://soundcloud.com/serotonin-17/new-song-update

Hey everyone. Here's an update on Melody 4.

It's me playing it and my guitar teacher jamming a basic chord sequence over it (that's him counting in).

Let me know what you think

PS. Sorry for the atrocious quality, it was recorded on a phone
Last edited by Serotonite at Sep 7, 2015,