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#1
I'm having this issue lately where I sit down with all my school stuff (laptop, packed lunch, books, etc.) in a public place, set everything up, and then immediately need to poo. The dilemma: do I pack my things back up and bring them with me to the bathroom? Or am I in a safe enough place that I can leave my things and come back without getting robbed?

Other shit news: popcorn at night is making it hard to poo in the morning. I usually try not to snack/eat before sleeping and it's been doing wonders for how I feel in the morning. However, if I am really feeling munchy, I'll make some popcorn since it's so low in calories but really satisfying to chew. I wonder if it's the starch turning into sugar (sugary stuff makes my tummy and asshole hurt later) or if it is something else.


Let me know about your shit life. For love life concerns, please, contact anything other than this forum. And just call your wife next time jfc


Edit: I have been shitting for 24 years and this is how I am repaid.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




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minterman22
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Last edited by vintage x metal at Aug 31, 2015,
#2
I don't poop enough

Also I totally get what you mean with that first part.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#3
I shit quite a lot, but that's probably the anxiety messing with me and making me need to go more

Also I've been on shift work for 2 months, 6am-2pm and 2pm-10pm, which switch every week. All my body clocks including my shitting schedule are completely fvcked
#4
That feel when thread is actually filled with shit.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#5
At least you're not at the stage of having to shit, shitting, wiping, washing your hands, AND THEN HAVING TO SHIT AGAIN.
#6
Solution is to study on the toilet.

If it were me though I'd pack my laptop (which is the only thing I have anyway) and go do my business.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#8
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Shitting is a filthy disgusting habit and I haven't done it in 17 years


That explains so much...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#9
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Shitting is a filthy disgusting habit and I haven't done it in 17 years

idk I generally like it unless it's painful
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#10
cigarettes and caffeine make most of my life revolve around the toilet.

gotta squeeze one out before i leave for work or i'll end up having to go as soon as i get there or hold it until break/lunch and have terrible gas all day.

have you ever tried making it through a workday only being able to wipe with awful retail store TP? ugh, it's a nightmare. maybe i should start bringing my own travel wipes with me.

jfc, i'm like an old man at 23.

also i ate a greasy Smashbuger the other day and that thing wrecked my shit.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#11
My shit life's been kind of a rollercoaster recently. I gained a bit of weight so to make up for it I lived off cashews for a couple days; didn't do me much good.
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 

Quote by Bladez22
I'm a moron tho apparently and everyone should listen to you oh wise pretentious one
#12
Got to have that one app in case it gets stolen


As for my life and shit, ehhh it comes and goes cant complain
.
#13
^ what app?

Quote by K33nbl4d3
My shit life's been kind of a rollercoaster recently. I gained a bit of weight so to make up for it I lived off cashews for a couple days; didn't do me much good.


damn yr shit life sounds nuts


oh ya jakesp, fast food kills my poo immediately and I only get the weird organs.
also considering cigs again just for pooing purposes
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#14
i just took a a pretty satisfying dump but it was too sludgy so i couldnt finish up completely so im probably gonna have a shitty asshole later on
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#15
I shit like clockwork 40 minutes after I wake up every single day and if I shit at the wrong time it makes me anxious

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#16
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I shit like clockwork 40 minutes after I wake up every single day and if I shit at the wrong time it makes me anxious

That's late.

Ideal time is right before a shower.
#17
I shower before bed

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#18
Quote by EndTheRapture51 at #33576013
I shit like clockwork 40 minutes after I wake up every single day and if I shit at the wrong time it makes me anxious


Do you sit on the toilet and worry like" omg this was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago!"

Quote by EndTheRapture51 at #33576016
I shower before bed


gross
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#19
I shit quite often.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#21
Quote by EndTheRapture51 at #33576016
I shower before bed

I've always been on your side until now
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#22
Quote by vintage x metal
^ what app?


damn yr shit life sounds nuts


oh ya jakesp, fast food kills my poo immediately and I only get the weird organs.
also considering cigs again just for pooing purposes



Any tracking one I suppose. Friend had his iphone stolen at a basketball court, and led him back to it with the help of pd. No charges pressed because he was just happy to get his pictures/etc lol
.
#23
What's wrong with showering before bed? Lets you sleep longer in the morning and it is beneficial for my hair

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#24
I shower after work these days which is about exactly halfway between when I wake up and when I go to bed idk if that is acceptable
#25
That's 100% cool unless you do physical activity that causes sweat in between

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#26
I'm actually about to shit right now.


I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#28
I don't know about you but even doing the washing up can cause me to sweat

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#29
Quote by EndTheRapture51
What's wrong with showering before bed? Lets you sleep longer in the morning and it is beneficial for my hair

How does that help a top knot?
#31
i just poo'd

One weird thing I noticed, I don't poop when I go on trips. As a kid, I wouldn't poop on our summer vacation trips. A solid 3 days with no pooping and no urge to poop really. In high school traveling for club stuff and fun stuff, I NEVER shat. And even today, if it's out of the city limits my body won't expel waste. I wonder why?
#32
L O L this is much better than I expected
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#33
Quote by Weaponized
i just poo'd

One weird thing I noticed, I don't poop when I go on trips. As a kid, I wouldn't poop on our summer vacation trips. A solid 3 days with no pooping and no urge to poop really. In high school traveling for club stuff and fun stuff, I NEVER shat. And even today, if it's out of the city limits my body won't expel waste. I wonder why?

as I am getting older I find myself having to talk myself into pooing - getting all situated, making myself really comfortable and getting to a lax enough state.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#34
Quote by EndTheRapture51 at #33576043
What's wrong with showering before bed? Lets you sleep longer in the morning and it is beneficial for my hair

Lucky. If I did that my hair would be awful.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#35
I often feel like I have to shit in the middle of my newspaper route. It wouldn't be a huge deal tho cuz it's in the middle of the night and out in the country and I always have plenty of paper with me
#36
Quote by vintage x metal
as I am getting older I find myself having to talk myself into pooing - getting all situated, making myself really comfortable and getting to a lax enough state.


Sounds like you need more fiber tbh.


Shit just falls out of my asshole like pennies thrown off an apartment balcony.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#37
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I shower before bed



Same. Sometimes I shower twice because it gets hot here. I work late hours at a greasy job and there's no way I'm going to sleep greasy and oily.
#38
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Sounds like you need more fiber tbh.


Shit just falls out of my asshole like pennies thrown off an apartment balcony.

I eat lots of fiber. Actually, painful amounts of fiber. Ever have poo that looks like seaweed?
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#39
Quote by Andrea55


Same. Sometimes I shower twice because it gets hot here. I work late hours at a greasy job and there's no way I'm going to sleep greasy and oily.

I'm sure there's some kind of astro-glide joke in there soemwhere.
#40
I had a massive poo at work the other day. It was almost the size of my forearm, not even kidding. I can say with certainty now that fisting definitely isn't for me
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