#1
At least five, at the very least, probably more like six or seven or maybe more. I have lost count.

Always on the butthole . A grapefruit sized hole that looks like it was cut out neatly with scissors.

It happens on my underwear. My best guess is the washing machine. Why only underwear? Why always right on the butthole dead center. Same size same everything.

It's spooky. This like as a ghost here doing it.

We got a new washing machine so I will know in time. If it still happens I'm going to be a little freaked out.

Still even if it was my washing machine why does it have a taste only for buttholes on underwear?
No butthole pieces have ever been recovered ,they vanish .
Last edited by yope at Sep 13, 2015,
#3
this was closer to what I hoped it to be than what I imagined it to be
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#4
poltergeist.

get some salt and some iron and hope it doesn't get violent.
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
#6
ravenous butthole ghost
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#7
There's a worm in your butt and it's eating your underwear.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#8
either your mom or your sister is perving on you and cutting the butts out of your underwear


or your brother????
#9
i try to never think ab out belly buttons cause its all "if this knot weren't there there would be a hole in my stomach". that is not a pleasant thought, even if it isn't accurate.

saw my newborn niece today. umbelica chord put into some medical tube that i guess makes sure a quarter doesn't accidentally have its journey riding down the jugular rapid slide
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#10
Quote by Baby Joel at #33594284
i try to never think ab out belly buttons cause its all "if this knot weren't there there would be a hole in my stomach". that is not a pleasant thought, even if it isn't accurate.

saw my newborn niece today. umbelica chord put into some medical tube that i guess makes sure a quarter doesn't accidentally have its journey riding down the jugular rapid slide


wtf?

can i sig this?
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#11
It sounds like you're getting some sweet prostate-poking action
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#12
Your Most Bizarre Sexual Experience thread already exists

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#13
I haven't seen an improbable answer ITT yet
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#15
Quote by Bladez22
wtf?

can i sig this?

i honestly don't know what's happening with me. this is one of three weird analogies i've made that are so weird anyway but it kind of works


but seriously ew. growing up i thought that if the knot untied on my bellybutton, i'd just have this hole that suddenly is spewing stomach acids and various stages of digested anytihngs, just pouring out.

just...agggg

same thing with placenta. yeah sure it is nutritious i guess and some vague study shows better health between parent and child, just ew. if things are nutritionally amazing, we should be smart and find ways to have those for things that are appetising and not revolting.

ugh baby stuff is weird


like my sister gave birth yesterday and it's the only one of the three that didn't need a c-section, and I was all "ah that's nice, better recovery then" and she said "well without going into the details...it's gonna take a long time to recover" and I'm all ugh. brother in law texting updates "good news dilation is icreasing!" I don't need to know that. I don't need to know the tearing of the vagina as this incredibly evolutionary-contradictory birth thing that is like ok now push for forty minutes so that you can get this not-safe-proportion between the ability of skin to stretch, and babys to nbe all 'my head is big ahaha bet that hurt maybe if it wasn't such a messed up thing it would be easier and less painful and less chance of mother dying and etc

nahmean? like even talking about it is like, this is a strange thing doesn't need to be discussed, cause the only bits that would hold a conversation longer than two sentences, would be [people saythings like "oh man and when the bit breaks (or some other things)" and everyone universally nods and grimaces because they all have the same problems. it's gross so it's interesting by the nature that it's gross but it's so gross that you don't want to elaborate it at all.

another analogy: something gets said, brother says "oh man I just thought of a film like that but I don't need to go through it" and I looked at him and went "human centipede" and he went exactly. the plot of human centipede, and it's gimmicky meta film within film etc thing, is revolting enough to read. I don't need to explain it to people when I go "well basically human centipede is where you connect people via entrance and exit orifices in such a way that you are a single unit without the collective mind so you are trapped and eating crap and

mahmen? it's just ugh
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
Last edited by Baby Joel at Sep 13, 2015,
#17
Yope you have a stalker. Someone keeps stealthily cutting holes in your undergarments because they love your fragrance, or something.
I have nothing important to say
#18
I thought this was going to be a thread about TS' having random Glory Holes in various rooms throughout his house....

Either way, still entertaining.

Yope, easy solution, stop farting so much.
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#19
Quote by Ichikurosaki
aggressive farting
bedsheets suffer from this too
next question


Your haiku is short
There's only three syllables
on the last line, lel
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#20
I think you're a ****ing liar Yope. I think you're just making this all up. While the rest of these folk may find your antics amusing, I for one don't appreciate being ****ing LIED to. Why do you do this Yope? Why do you lie to me? To impress me? You needn't worry about that. My love isn't so difficult to earn.

What's that? You don't care about my love or stance on your shitty lie of a post? Well that's a ****ing LIE as well. I know you yearn for my affection Yope, and I'll give it, but don't you dare to ever ****ing LIE to me again or this relationship will end in your misery - and that my friend is no lie.
#21
Quote by wafflesyrup
I think you're a ****ing liar Yope. I think you're just making this all up. While the rest of these folk may find your antics amusing, I for one don't appreciate being ****ing LIED to. Why do you do this Yope? Why do you lie to me? To impress me? You needn't worry about that. My love isn't so difficult to earn.

What's that? You don't care about my love or stance on your shitty lie of a post? Well that's a ****ing LIE as well. I know you yearn for my affection Yope, and I'll give it, but don't you dare to ever ****ing LIE to me again or this relationship will end in your misery - and that my friend is no lie.

Wtf is wrong with you? Are you capable of responding to a thread without it turning into a violent outburst?
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#22
Quote by i_lovemetallica
Wtf is wrong with you? Are you capable of responding to a thread without it turning into a violent outburst?


Wtf is wrong with me!? Wtf is wrong with you pal!!?? You think you can come in here, quote my post, and fling such a ridiculous accusation in my face as though there will be no repercussions!? You're ****ing wrong about that buddy, dead wrong. Shit just got personal around here.
#23
Uh huh......
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#24
Quote by i_lovemetallica
Uh huh......


What's that suppose to mean!? Uh huh......!!?!?
#25
Quote by wafflesyrup
What's that suppose to mean!? Uh huh......!!?!?

I dunno m8, you ****in tell me?!?!
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#26
Quote by i_lovemetallica
I dunno m8, you ****in tell me?!?!


I wish I ****ing knew holmes cause I would!!!!
#27
Quote by wafflesyrup
I wish I ****ing knew holmes cause I would!!!!


dis guy
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american