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#1
*********************/articles/2015/09/14/worlds-first-human-head-transplant-scheduled-for-2017

Putting "give me head" in a different context.

Quote by Jenna Pitcher, IGN.com
Russian computer scientist Valery Spiridonov will undergo the world's first head transplant in December, 2017, CEN reports.

Chinese surgeon Ren Xiaoping and Italian surgeon Sergio Canavero confirmed that they will likely perform the procedure at Harbin Medical University in China along with a Chinese-Italian team.

Thirty-year-old Spiridonov, who has an incurable muscle-wasting condition called Werdnig-Hoffmann disease, was confirmed for the procedure earlier this year after volunteering for the project.

“When I realised that I could participate in something really big and important, I had no doubt left in my mind and started to work in this direction,” Spiridonov told CEN. “The only thing I feel is the sense of pleasant impatience, like I have been preparing for something important all my life and it is starting to happen,”

Lasting up to 36 hours, the procedure involves removing the heads from the donor and patient and then transplanting Spiridonov’s head onto the donor body with glue and stitches. Spiridonov’s head and the donor’s body will be cooled during the procedure to extend the cells lifespan without oxygen.

“According to Canavero’s calculations, if everything goes to plan, two years are needed to verify all scientific calculations and plan the procedure’s details,” Spiridonov said. “It isn’t a race. No doubt, the surgery will be done once the doctor and the experts are 99 percent sure of its success.”

Spiridonov will be induced into a month-long coma post operation while a cocktail of drugs will help stop the transplanted parts rejecting each other. It is not yet publically known where the donor body will come from.

Ren said the procedure will go only ahead on the scheduled date if research and calculations adhere to the project’s milestones. "A lot of media have been saying we will definitely attempt the surgery by 2017, but that's only if every step before that proceeds smoothly," Ren told AFP.


TL;DR: Russians are mental.
Free Ali
#2
i literally cant even


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#4
What is the point?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#5
Quote by Rossenrot at #33595350
It's not a head transplant - it's a body transplant. You are your head.

I'm actually a ~soul~ tyvm
Free Ali
#6
I Am Greater Than The Sum Of My Parts

also, gross
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#7
that link
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#9
I first read "Fish head transplant"! However, this is cool too.
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#11
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33595353
What is the point?


Why not? Man's gonna die anyway, may as well try and advance science.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#12
Quote by chrismendiola

TL;DR: Russians are mental.


This is all apart of Vladimir Putin's plan to become immortal.
#13
Quote by Trowzaa
Why not? Man's gonna die anyway, may as well try and advance science.

Advance science to What purpose? When is someone actually going to need the knowledge on how to transplant heads?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#14
so they're gonna operate for 36 hours

are there designated bathroom/break periods for the doctors or are they doing this tag team style
ggg1 ggg3

.
#15
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33595385
Advance science to What purpose? When is someone actually going to need the knowledge on how to transplant heads?

when a head is in need of being transplanted duh
#16
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33595385
Advance science to What purpose? When is someone actually going to need the knowledge on how to transplant heads?


When is someone actually going to need the knowledge on how to transplant hearts/livers/kidneys/other organs
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#17
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33595385
Advance science to What purpose? When is someone actually going to need the knowledge on how to transplant heads?

obvs

Free Ali
#18
The Russians have a head start it seems
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#19
Quote by behind_you
so they're gonna operate for 36 hours

are there designated bathroom/break periods for the doctors or are they doing this tag team style

probably just gonna cut a hole in the dead dude's bladder and piss in it


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#20
Quote by Rossenrot
It's not a head transplant - it's a body transplant. You are your head.

whoa
Quote by TheSennaj
And well yes, I'll enjoy the carpal tunnel and tendonitis, because trying to get one is clearly smarter than any word you have spoken thus far.
#21
Quote by Neo Evil11
Advance science to What purpose?

To become a GOD!
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#22
Quote by behind_you at #33595388
are they doing this tag team style


d-vonnnn

get the table
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#23
Quote by behind_you
so they're gonna operate for 36 hours

are there designated bathroom/break periods for the doctors or are they doing this tag team style

The doctors should have entrance themes too
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#25
I'm sorry, what? What?

Lasting up to 36 hours, the procedure involves removing the heads from the donor and patient and then transplanting Spiridonov’s head onto the donor body with glue and stitches.



What??? WHAT?!?!?!
#26
Maybe they're getting aHead of themselves here
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#27
It's probably quite easy to transplant a head. Keeping the patient alive, however, might prove difficult.
I have nothing important to say
#28
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33595425
I'm sorry, what? What?


What??? WHAT?!?!?!


Don't worry, it's not gonna work

Quote by Bladez22 at #33595431
Maybe they're getting aHead of themselves here


baldez pls
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#29
Could I also get a second head this way, like Zaphod? Hmmm...
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#30
So they're going to sever his spinal cord, deprive his brain of oxygen and blood for several hours, while they just fucking "glue" it all back together? What–are they out of chewing gum? Couldn't use blue tacks?


That man's gonna die. We're all gonna die anyway, but he best say goodbye before he does this. I get the ethics behind it — our bodies are just sacks of meat, the person is in the brain, which is really just housing for the information that is the person — but how the hell do you sever a spine for fuck's sake and just put it back together? I thought that shit results in instantaneous death? Never mind doing so with the intent to give him full capacity over this new body, we're talking letting him live past this here.


Of course it's a great idea, it'd be awesome if they could do it but...2017? Has there been some sort of explosion in neuroscience this past year that I missed?
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Sep 14, 2015,
#31
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
So they're going to sever his spinal cord, deprive his brain of oxygen and blood for several hours, while they just fucking "glue" it all back together? What–are they out of chewing gum? Couldn't use blue tacks?


That man's gonna die. We're all gonna die anyway, but he best say goodbye before he does this. I get the ethics behind it — our bodies are just sacks of meat, the person is in the brain, which is really just housing for the information that is the person — but how the hell do you sever a spine for fuck's sake and just put it back together? I thought that shit results in instantaneous death? Never mind doing so with the intent to give him full capacity over this new body, we're talking letting him live past this here.


Of course it's a great idea, it'd be awesome if they could do it but...2017? Has there been some sort of explosion in neuroscience this past year that I missed?


Alright don't lose your head, I'm sure they know what they're doing
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#32
Quote by Bladez22 at #33595455
Alright don't lose your head, I'm sure they know what they're doing

The guy gave the keynote in a tunic.
#33
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33595462
The guy gave the keynote in a tunic.





Imagine how fucking insane it would be to wake up with a completely different body. Like what if he used to be really tall and they transplant his head onto a dwarf body or something. He would probably die just from the shock alone.
#34
I think a lot of you strongly underestimate how rapidly medicine is being developed.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#35
I think this is the start of Putin's master plan to clone his head and attach it to the bodies of every Russian before conquering the globe.
#36
Are they using a dead body for it or are they killing somebody.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#37
Ali, animals have been beheaded and their heads kept alive for hours, way back in the Soviet Union. I think we've made even more progress since then. I'm not sure how they deal with brain damage but it certainly doesn't mean instant death.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#38
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
but how the hell do you sever a spine for fuck's sake and just put it back together? I thought that shit results in instantaneous death? Never mind doing so with the intent to give him full capacity over this new body, we're talking letting him live past this here.

Actually, the severing of the spinal cord only results in death if the injury is high enough that the person can no longer breathe on their own, and doesn't get oxygen. A lot of higher-level quadriplegics have to be on ventilators or they'll suffocate, but alive they are.

If they have oxygen getting to his brain during surgery, he'll live. Or, rather, it won't be that aspect that kills him.

But I can't imagine they talked about this and glossed over the fact that he'd be paralyzed. I mean, there's no way not to be, unless he's simultaneously going to be a guinea pig for some spinal cord injury cure. But if it's between that and being dead soon (which I gather is the alternative), being paralyzed seems like the ideal alternative.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
Last edited by Skynyrd890 at Sep 14, 2015,
#39
yeah like when you get guillotined and you can still see for a few seconds after your head hits the ground
#40
Yeah the paralysis part is bugging me. Surely they can't get past that, or else we'd have much fewer people in wheelchairs.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
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