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#1
so a friend of mine has a problem and he doesnt know who to ask and he only trusts me but i dont know either so i thought id ask the pit because im sure theres someone here with experience on this

my friend is gaycurious and he was experimenting and he put something in his rectum its not relevant what it is but the thing is that he cant get it out anymore

he doesnt want to go to the hospital because then everyone will think that he is homogay while it was just an experiment and he is into girls

please help my friend he is desperate
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#2
Go to the ****ing hospital. Right. ****ing. Now.

Whatever the **** he put in there, they've seen worse. Probably today.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#3
what slapsy said. or pull it out yourself

im koo with whatever


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#4
Push it further until it comes out of his mouth.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#5
Insert another object up there to try and wiggle it out

EDIT: Just go to the hospital though, and get your friend to tell the staff that he "Just slipped and it went up there"......they'll never expect to hear that
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
Last edited by i_lovemetallica at Sep 16, 2015,
#6
More people are gonna think ur gay for using that font than shoving something up ur own arse

seriously though take ur friend to the hospital
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#7


Crazy Dutchies with their drugs infused gay experimentation lifestyle.

Go to the hospital, say he swallowed it and nearly succeeded in pooping it out.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#8
So basically what you're saying is you were having gay sex with your friend and then your friend got vaginismus but of the anus and now your penis is stuck up your friends bum.
#11
Quote by JackalUK
"My friend" yeah...? I believe you. Was it a toy car?

A guy at my school once came into class loudly talking about how he shoved the bristly end of a toothbrush up his pooper......
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#12
Yeah the guy who definitely isn't you should should let the doctors handle this before he does any more damage.


In the future, use the buddy system.
#13
to be fair, who the **** else would you ask advice on other than a friend or the internet?

especially given the circumstances
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#14
Quote by the bartender at #33597705
he put something in his rectum its not relevant what it is

And I resent that you would hold out on us.
#15
Quote by i_lovemetallica
A guy at my school once came into class loudly talking about how he shoved the bristly end of a toothbrush up his pooper......


There was a guy in the year below me that got some nickname I can't remember because he liked to use pens. Followed him for years though, not seen him in a decade though.
#16
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
And I resent that you would hold out on us.

I'm just going to wildly speculate for you:
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#17
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
And I resent that you would hold out on us.

this

What went up the arse in question? it could be very important to calm the situation, or aggravate it.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#18
Quote by Pastafarian96
this

What went up the arse in question? it could be very important to calm the situation, or aggravate it.

Again, I'm really only guessing until TS tells us, but maybe this?
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#20
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#21


the whole individual object
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#23
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#26
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#29
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#31
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#33
****ing lost it
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#34
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#36
Ok what you're gonna want is a piece of pipe. About 2-3 inches in diameter. Shove that thing right in there ensuring that the earlier inserted foreign object is in the middle.

Next, he shakes his ass a bit and it wiggles out itself or you help pull it out. Now I know this works because I cop told me that's what they do in prison except they shove the pipe in, slide some barbed wire in the middle and then take the pipe out. You don't wanna do that.

He will then graciously and with great courtesy thank you to which you reply



or oooh what a lovely tea party
#37
Quote by DardySon
So basically what you're saying is you were having gay sex with your friend and then your friend got vaginismus but of the anus and now your penis is stuck up your friends bum.

He's no gay.His boyfriend is.
#38
please help my friend he is desperate

Yes, let's ask Dr. The Pit for help. My advice is to dial 9-1 before you try any suggestions here, and then be ready to dial 1 again when you see blood.
mmmmmmhmmm

That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote by munkymanmatt
brilliant
#40
Quote by Pastafarian96 at #33597803




jfc

Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
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