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#1
I was only nine years old
I loved Senator Bernie Sanders (D) so much, I owned all the campaign posters and surfed /r/sandersforpresident daily
I pray to Bernie every night, thanking him for the dank bud I have been given
"Bernie is love", I say, "Bernie is life"
My dad hears me and calls me a commie
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Bernard
I called him a ****-servitive
He slaps me and sends me to my room
I am crying now, because Donald Trump is on the television
I go into my bed and it is very cold
I feel a warmth moving towards me
I feel something touch me
It's Bernie Sanders!
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear, "This is my Country"
He grabs me with his powerful Jew hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for Mr. Sanders
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much, but I do it for Bernie.
I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force. I truly feel the Bern now.
I want to please the Senator
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Eco friendly seed.
My dad walks in
Bernie looks him deep in the eyes and says, "In my view, a corporation is not a person. A corporation does not have First Amendment rights to spend as much money as it wants, without disclosure, on a political campaign. Corporations should not be able to go into their treasuries and spend millions and millions of dollars on a campaign in order to buy elections."
Bernie leaves through my window
Bernie is love, Bernie is life
#3
You truly are the king of memers
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#4
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You can tell if it's eager, because you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating oats.

Nicest compliment on my looks:
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Putting the 'sex' in 'convicted sex offender'.
#5
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#6
Take a Zantac or a TUMS
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#8
I heard that Bernie killed it at Liberty University.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#9
lol I remember when people here were givig me shit for liking Bernie cuz they thought he had no real chance but now ppl are literally opening their assholes for him.
#10
I was only nine years old
I loved MP Jeremy Corbyn so much, I owned all the campaign posters and surfed /r/jeremyforPM daily
I pray to Corbyn every night, thanking him for the dank bud I have been given
"Corbyn is love", I say, "Corbyn is life"
My dad hears me and calls me a commie
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Jeremy
I called him a ****-servitive
He slaps me and sends me to my room
I am crying now, because David Cameronis on the television
I go into my bed and it is very cold
I feel a warmth moving towards me
I feel something touch me
It's Jeremy Corbyn!
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear, "This is my Country"
He grabs me with his powerful socialist hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for Mr Corbyn
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much, but I do it for Corbyn.
I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force. I truly feel the Corbyn now.
I want to please the MP
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Eco friendly seed.
My dad walks in
Corbyn looks him deep in the eyes and says, " The Tories have used the economic crisis of 2008 to impose a terrible burden on the poorest people in this country. Those that have seen their wages frozen or cut, those that can’t afford to even sustain themselves properly, those that rely on food banks to get by, it is not right it is not necessary and it has got to change. We need an economic strategy that improves people’s lives, that expands our economy that reaches out to care for everybody. You can’t to do that if at the same time you do nothing about grotesque levels of inequality within our society. We need to develop an economic policy that deals with those issues”
Corbyn leaves through my window
Corbyn is love, Corbyn is life

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#11
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
lol I remember when people here were givig me shit for liking Bernie cuz they thought he had no real chance but now ppl are literally opening their assholes for him.



seems unhygienic.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#12
fanfiction about politicians bumming 9 year olds. When did UG become 4chan?
#13
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I was only nine years old
I loved MP Jeremy Corbyn so much, I owned all the campaign posters and surfed /r/jeremyforPM daily
I pray to Corbyn every night, thanking him for the dank bud I have been given
"Corbyn is love", I say, "Corbyn is life"
My dad hears me and calls me a commie
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Jeremy
I called him a ****-servitive
He slaps me and sends me to my room
I am crying now, because David Cameronis on the television
I go into my bed and it is very cold
I feel a warmth moving towards me
I feel something touch me
It's Jeremy Corbyn!
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear, "This is my Country"
He grabs me with his powerful socialist hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for Mr Corbyn
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much, but I do it for Corbyn.
I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force. I truly feel the Corbyn now.
I want to please the MP
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Eco friendly seed.
My dad walks in
Corbyn looks him deep in the eyes and says, " The Tories have used the economic crisis of 2008 to impose a terrible burden on the poorest people in this country. Those that have seen their wages frozen or cut, those that can’t afford to even sustain themselves properly, those that rely on food banks to get by, it is not right it is not necessary and it has got to change. We need an economic strategy that improves people’s lives, that expands our economy that reaches out to care for everybody. You can’t to do that if at the same time you do nothing about grotesque levels of inequality within our society. We need to develop an economic policy that deals with those issues”
Corbyn leaves through my window
Corbyn is love, Corbyn is life



You been mind-tricked.
#17
Quote by MetalMullet at #33598426
Why do I not understand half the shit that is posted on UG? How do I keep up?

Me neither, but it doesn't matter. Just play along!
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#18
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33597918
I heard that Bernie killed it at Liberty University.

Define "killed it" cuz (1) they gave him polite applause and (2) it was part of an assembly that the students had to attend.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#19
Quote by ElMaco
Me neither, but it doesn't matter. Just play along!


Oh, is that how it works? Cool.

Nice meme, guy!
this
#20
Quote by MetalMullet at #33598450
Oh, is that how it works? Cool.

Nice meme, guy!

That's how you get cool!
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#21
Quote by ErikLensherr
Define "killed it" cuz (1) they gave him polite applause and (2) it was part of an assembly that the students had to attend.

Polite applause after he made his points clear? Sounded more like agreeing.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#22
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33598469
Polite applause after he made his points clear? Sounded more like agreeing.

No they were just being polite.

http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2015/09/14/bernie-sanders-makes-rare-appeal-to-evangelicals-at-liberty-university/

When they give Ted Cruz "thunderous applause" that's agreeing.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#23
Quote by ErikLensherr
No they were just being polite.

http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2015/09/14/bernie-sanders-makes-rare-appeal-to-evangelicals-at-liberty-university/

When they give Ted Cruz "thunderous applause" that's agreeing.

I watched the video. If cheering is being "polite", then I'd happily take that every day. Obviously not the entire room was enthousiastic, but it was clear that a lot of them were. The worst applause was during his abortion stance, and even that received better than expected.

Also Ted Cruz didn't actually discuss any policy. I'm sure they would have applauded as well had Bernie came there and said: I am running. Even though most of them would not have had any ****ing idea who he was. That was polite applause, while people were tapping away on their phones.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2015/03/27/liberty-university-students-say-they-were-required-to-attend-ted-cruz-speech/
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
Last edited by Neo Evil11 at Sep 16, 2015,
#24
Bernie Sanders has over 20,000 people attending his rallies. Someone ask President Ron Paul how he feels about that.
#25
Quote by Rossenrot
Bernie Sanders has over 20,000 people attending his rallies. Someone ask President Ron Paul how he feels about that.

Did Ron Paul ever lead the polls in multiple states that vote first in the primaries?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#26
this is the weird part where a july '15er has a thread "you've probably noticed I haven't been on recently but I'm back now" sort of thread, and then has stuff like this.

well played whoever you are
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#27
Quote by Neo Evil11
Did Ron Paul ever lead the polls in multiple states that vote first in the primaries?


Then mention the polls and not the audience. Attendance at rallies is a poor meter for the health of a campaign.
#28
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33598508
I watched the video. If cheering is being "polite", then I'd happily take that every day. Obviously not the entire room was enthousiastic, but it was clear that a lot of them were. The worst applause was during his abortion stance, and even that received better than expected.

Also Ted Cruz didn't actually discuss any policy. I'm sure they would have applauded as well had Bernie came there and said: I am running. Even though most of them would not have had any ****ing idea who he was. That was polite applause, while people were tapping away on their phones.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2015/03/27/liberty-university-students-say-they-were-required-to-attend-ted-cruz-speech/

They already know Ted Cruz's positions, he's a well known right-wing evangelical. He's one of them, Bernie isn't. They can applaud individual parts of Bernie's platform like helping the poor, but they're not gonna vote for him. You've been sipping too much Bernie Kool-Aid.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#29
Quote by Rossenrot
Then mention the polls and not the audience. Attendance at rallies is a poor meter for the health of a campaign.

When did I mention the audience? I was merely discussing the fact that he wasn't booed off, but actually cheered by some of the students at probably the most christian, right wing university there is in the USA. Attendance was compulsory, so I would never even want to bring up attendance.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#30
Quote by ErikLensherr
They already know Ted Cruz's positions, he's a well known right-wing evangelical. He's one of them, Bernie isn't. They can applaud individual parts of Bernie's platform like helping the poor, but they're not gonna vote for him. You've been sipping too much Bernie Kool-Aid.

When have I said they would vote for him? A good portion of them cheered when he said that abortion is a difficult decision and that the government should stay out of the woman's choice. If Bernie can get cheers at that place, then I am sure he can convince normal people.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
Last edited by Neo Evil11 at Sep 16, 2015,
#31
Quote by Neo Evil11 at #33598542
When have I said they would vote for him? A good portion of them cheered when he said that abortion is a difficult decision and that the government should stay out of the woman's choice. If Bernie can get cheers at that place, then I am sure he can convince normal people.

So your point was just that they clapped for him and were nice to him? Okay.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#32
Quote by ErikLensherr
So your point was just that they clapped for him and were nice to him? Okay.

There's a difference between clapping and cheering. Did you even bother to look up the video of the entire thing or are you basing your opinion on that shitty nytimes article?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#33
Tbh no I don't wanna watch that whole thing
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#34
Quote by ErikLensherr
Tbh no I don't wanna watch that whole thing

Then shut the **** up you ignorant twat.

Neo out.

edit: there was one point where he brought up universal healthcare though, and these ****ing "christians" were awfully quiet right there.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#35
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#36
Quote by Baby Joel at #33598532
this is the weird part where a july '15er has a thread "you've probably noticed I haven't been on recently but I'm back now" sort of thread, and then has stuff like this.

well played whoever you are

Yea I wonder who this guy is. It's almost like one of the mods forced him to ditch the forum before.

Quote by ErikLensherr at #33598568

nice
#37
Quote by Neo Evil11
When did I mention the audience? I was merely discussing the fact that he wasn't booed off, but actually cheered by some of the students at probably the most christian, right wing university there is in the USA. Attendance was compulsory, so I would never even want to bring up attendance.


Wasn't directed at you, and it's funny how a socialist is warmly received at a right-wing campus while the tolerant left-wing campuses boo and frequently prevent speakers they disagree with.
#38
Quote by MetalMullet
Why do I not understand half the shit that is posted on UG? How do I keep up?


You're probably just not that smart.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#39
hi hello I'm here to observe the following:

Quote by MeGaDeth2314
..ppl are literally opening their assholes...

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
Last edited by M00NAGEDAYDREAM at Sep 17, 2015,
#40
Quote by MeTallIcA313
Yea I wonder who this guy is. It's almost like one of the mods forced him to ditch the forum before.


nice

it's our current LOLMNT AKA...
which then became "YOU CAN'T STOP ME I HAVE MANY NAMES" where it's continuous synonyms of saying UG sucks or whatever.

there is always one

hbk bless his heart

koyanisqaatsi, by far one of the best
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
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