#1
today I waited in your arms.
while you whispered reassurances in my ears

you dug a hole out back
and asked the neighbor to shoot the dog
cancer had spread through the chest cavity.

I get mocked for labels
what is the purpose of what we are doing.

what have I been doing?
Who have I been sleeping with?
Why is this guy in my bed?

He doesn't care about me, let alone respect me
but still I let him violate me.

It never makes me feel better.

I feel guilty when I walk past you.
I feel guilty when you still tell me you love me.
And I feel guilty when I tell you I still love you too.