Poll: Wyd
Poll Options
View poll results: Wyd
Shit shave shower
16 26%
Shit shower shave
34 56%
Shave shower shit (I am a heathen)
1 2%
Shave shit shower
9 15%
Shower shit shave
1 2%
Shower shave shit (I am also a heathen)
0 0%
Voters: 61.
Page 1 of 2
#1
Alright guys it's time for our annual SSS thread. I must make an update for myself this time around: I used to shave, shit and shower but now I've since changed the process to shit, shower, shave because it is more civilized and American of me
pinga
#2
So, not Super SS?

I'd best take this stylish Hugo Boss uniform off, then.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#3
Quote by slapsymcdougal
So, not Super SS?

I'd best take this stylish Hugo Boss uniform off, then.


Only animals and sheep loving Scotsmen shave in the shower
#4
Quote by TobusRex
Only animals and sheep loving Scotsmen shave in the shower

That's bollocks. Aberdeen fans don't shower.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#5
Quote by slapsymcdougal
That's bollocks. Aberdeen fans don't shower.


Appy polly logies....
#6
Shit shave shower. I don't use a razor for convenience, so that's gotta be the order. Otherwise it's shit, shower, shave.
#7
Shower in the evening before bed

Shit in the morning before work

Shave whenever I need to be shaven. If "areas" require shaving I do them pre shower.
#8
It's just shit, shower, shave, that is the only order those 3 should be done in if those 3 are needed to be done at similar times.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#9
ideally, i shit shower shave -- but i can't just wake up & shit right away, so it really depends how early i gotta be somewhere.
#10
every year I say shit shower shave and everyone's like 'lol wtf?' glad someone finally gets it.

though yeah I don't always shit in the morning (I'm a bird I just shit whenever and wherever you know?) and I only do minor shaving every couple days now.
#11
Shaving after a shower is stupid. The oils in your skin help keep your blade sharp.
#12
Man you people are organized! This isn't something I think about, happens in whatever order seems best at the moment.
#13
Shit shave then shower.I shave my head and face at the same time only makes sense to shower after to get rid of foam and shavings.
Last edited by smittyanthrax at Sep 18, 2015,
#15
I never understood why people shave after showering, I mean you're gonna have to full on wash your face afterward anyway unless you want tiny hairs and that gross shaving cream feel all over your face for the rest of the day

Its just not efficient
#16
Showering opens up your pores and softens the hair so it's easier to shave so you don't bleed profusely everywhere if you do nick yourself
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#19
Quote by GuitarGod_92
I never understood why people shave after showering, I mean you're gonna have to full on wash your face afterward anyway unless you want tiny hairs and that gross shaving cream feel all over your face for the rest of the day

Its just not efficient

Because there isn't a way to just wash your face or anything. It's not like you have a sink in front of you for Christ sake
pinga
#20
Yeah but you literally just showered

And now youre washing your face thats a waste of water you polar bear melting piece of shit
#22
Quote by GuitarGod_92 at #33601816
I never understood why people shave after showering, I mean you're gonna have to full on wash your face afterward anyway unless you want tiny hairs and that gross shaving cream feel all over your face for the rest of the day

Its just not efficient

is this even a thing
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#23
Shit -> Shower -> Shave is objectively the best option.
The only other alternative is Shave -> Shit -> Shower, depending on which principle you prefer to hold true and which one not to.

The proof is below (I posted it in a previous thread):

Quote by gonzaw
There are 3 basic principles in the SSS theory, which are enumerated based on priority:

Principle One:
Shower after shitting or Shit > Shower

The point is about leaving the bathroom clean. If you shower, then shit, you will clean certain parts of your body (like your anus, crotch and ass cheeks), but then will immediately stain them when shitting. You just made that process void.
However, if you shit first, then shower, when you shower you have the opportunity to clean those areas of your body even more.
Also, showering makes your skin wet and drippy, if you shit afterwards, it will be easier for the shit to cling onto your skin, and more difficult to wipe away. Also, your ass could get slightly stuck at the toilet, and you will wet the toilet seat, which you will need to dry and possibly clean later.
All of these, make shitting before showering priority #1

Obs: Whether you shave in between or not is irrelevant to this principle.

Principle Two:
Shave after shitting or Shave > Shit

If you shit, and then shave, you will very likely carry bacteria, or even shit in your hands (depending on how well you clean your ass). You then proceed to nicely put all these shit and bacteria on your face, your shaving cream, and your razor before proceeding to shave.
Not only does this alone put shit on your face (which would be bad alone), but if you cut yourself with the razor, you have the chance of introducing this shit/bacteria into the wound, and maybe your bloodstream.
So yeah, big no.
This is priority #2 instead of #1, because it's not mainly that big of a problem if you clean your hands and ass well after you shit. If you do so very badly though, it could get nasty. But ultimately. I think it's more important to always get out of the bathroom clean, than having this small risk, so Shit > Shower has more priority than Shit > Shave.

Obs: If you somehow shit, and then shave, it is better if you shower in between. You will likely wash your hands with soap inside the shower, so you'll have less chances of smearing shit all over your face.
If this were to happen, the relation goes as follows: If you have fulfilled or not principle 1 and/or 3, then not fulfilling principle 2, but showering in between, will be exactly one step lower in the hierarchy than if you fulfilled/failed P1-3 (the same way you did before), but DID fulfill principle 2.

Principle Three:
Shave after showering or Shower > Shave

Trowza already explained this one. Hot shower opens your pores, softens your skin, makes it easier to shave altogether.
Also, you can put some lotion or stuff on your face after shaving and make it feel nice, but if you do it the other way round (shave THEN shower), that lotion gets washed by the shower.
This doesn't really concern actual cleanness of the body though, so it has the least priority.

Obs: Whether you shit in between or not is irrelevant to this principle.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, the order of the actions taken will depend on how closely they follow these principles. One permutation of the SSS sequence that fulfilled principle One, but not Two, will be "better" than one that fulfilled principle Two, but not One.
This creates a well-founded relation that allows us to rate all the sequences of Shit-Shave-Shower:

  • Shit -> Shower -> Shave: P1 - P2 - P3
  • Shave -> Shit -> Shower: P1 - P2 - P3
  • Shower -> Shave -> Shit: P1 - P2 - P3
  • Shit -> Shave -> Shower: P1 - P2 - P3
  • Shave -> Shower -> Shit: P1 - P2 - P3
  • Shower -> Shit -> Shave: P1 - P2 - P3


Now you may be asking yourself: "Why did Shit->Shower->Shave won, if by going with principles Shave->Shit->Shower has a higher order?".
In this case the observation from Principle 2 takes place: "If you have fulfilled or not principle 1 and/or 3, then not fulfilling principle 2, but showering in between, will be exactly one step lower in the hierarchy than if you fulfilled/failed P1-3 (the same way you did before), but DID fulfill principle 2."
Shit->Shower->Shave already fulfilled principles 1 and 3. Because of the previous postulate, the immediate "superior" sequence will be one that fulfilled principles 1, 3 and 2. That one is the best possible sequence of them all, therefore the one where P2 is fulfilled "halfways" is the 2nd possibly best.
Since that "best possible sequence" is impossible to create in this scenario, Shit->Shower->Shave is the best one.

Hopefully this clears the debate.
#26
Quote by Pastafarian96
Shit, shower. on lazy Sundays, none of them.

Incidentally should I shave right now? because I'm thinking about it.


I was thinking you need to go take a dump....
#27
shit, shower, shave duh. people who willingly do it in any other order are mongoloids.

of course, life is cruel and the reality is more like: wake up late for work, stuff breakfast and coffee into mouth-hole, drive to work, work for a few hours, take a shit in an employee/public restroom (they're equally filthy, really), struggle through the rest of the day because no business is willing to spend just a little extra on barely decent tp, so i have to make do with that awful, thin, sandpaper like substance (some might consider it cruel and unusual punishment) that really doesn't cut it ifyaknowwhatimean, drive home with my dirty butt at the end of the work day, sit on the couch intending to rest for just 5 minutes before i take a shower, wake up in the same spot drenched in sweat 4 hours later because your dad and his girlfriend are nice enough to not wake you AND turn the AC off so the house is 80 degrees.

then i finally take a shower.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#28
none of these apply to me
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#29
Does everyone here really shit every morning?
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#30
Quote by WCPhils
Does everyone here really shit every morning?


Raisin Bran dictates when I crap, not the clock.
#31
Quote by WCPhils
Does everyone here really shit every morning?

when i showered before work, yes. but getting up at 4 AM just to shower before i worked from 6 - 11:30 ( or 2) got to be really ridiculous because i'd need to shower again when i got home anyway. (sweaty work)

now my whole SSS schedule is ****ed because i just started working nights. my body is in revolt, i think.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#33
i don't shit on a schedule, it's just when it makes its presence known. which is often at night. i've honestly never understood people who are like "alright, now's my shittin' time."
#35
Quote by Jackintehbox
i don't shit on a schedule, it's just when it makes its presence known. which is often at night. i've honestly never understood people who are like "alright, now's my shittin' time."

it's called being regular.

jfc, i'm an old man.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#36
Quote by jakesmellspoo
it's called being regular.

jfc, i'm an old man.

yuck, normies. wake up sheeple.
#37
with me, having a regular time to take a shit was all about avoiding having to go at work because the tp sucks and i'd get stuck going through the rest of the work day feeling dirty.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#38
Quote by jakesmellspoo
with me, having a regular time to take a shit was all about avoiding having to go at work because the tp sucks and i'd get stuck going through the rest of the work day feeling dirty.

i can't tell the difference between cheap and not cheap toliet paper. i mean, i recognize different papers, but i couldn't tell you which ones were cheap and which ones weren't. they all get the job done.
#39
I go either every day or every other day depending on how much I'm eating. But (unless you count being sick) I've never gone more than once in a day, that's mental.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
Page 1 of 2