#1
Meet me in a dark alley, pretty lady...
I am the dark screen of your damaged reality,
that foreshadowed every cavity of your sacredness;
we are now forever acquainted to every fateful night
of unworldly fights. I’ve seen the other side of your watchful glass
and, for the first time, I can almost gasp a last smile.

“I stand tall - I am a world eater
for the stars that shiver
in their wake”.
Last edited by Bleed Away at Oct 15, 2015,
#2


hi. i think the first two lines of this set it up to be something it wasn't. i think your third line breaks the tangibility of it for me a little. i also think i know why and i think a lot of people would like it, so it's just a personal thing. i'm not a fan of the juxtaposition of "cavity" and "sacred" but beyond that i just don't think the word "cavity" is good for what you're trying to express here. it reminds me of dentists.

actually beyond that one line i do like it a lot for a shorter piece. keep writing .





love is a dog from hell.