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#1
We all need them sometimes.







Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#3
gud guy will smith

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#4




#6
"It is very old-fashioned to call Khufu a cruel tyrant for making 100,000 fellahin, or peasants, work twenty years on his tomb. Scholars say he worked them only during the three months of the flood season, when they were not engaged in agriculture and were likely to find themselves at a loose end and get into mischief. The Egyptian lower classes were very immoral, always drinking or something. Thus Khufu was doing them a favor by keeping their minds occupied, and the whole affair was more or less one big picnic. At the same time, the exercise developed their characters and taught them the dignity of labor. The majority of the pyramid workers were not slaves, as we used to be told. They were free men, with rights and privileges specified in the Constitution."

- Will Cuppy

"I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor -- such is my idea of happiness."

- Tolstoy

"Some people don't want you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this, some people don't want you to say that. Some people think if you mention some things they might happen. Some people are really fucking stupid. Did you ever notice that, how many stupid people you run into during the day? Goddamn there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a pad and pencil with you, you'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day. Think about this; think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

- George Carlin
#7
There's only two quotes I ever took to heart. One is in my sig, another is Epicurus, who had said, "...but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped."
#8
"I love to smell flowers in the dark," she said. "You get hold of their soul then." -LM Montgomery

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.” -Kurt Vonnegut

EDIT Oh yeah my senior quote: "They don't think it be like it is, but it do." -Oscar Gamble

Last edited by SaintsofNowhere at Sep 23, 2015,
#9
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.” -Kurt Vonnegut


lol
#10
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again -Buffalo bill

Don't forget to bring a towel -Towelie

Cocaine is helluva drug -Rick James
#11
"It is unrealistic, and contrary to experience, to believe the aim of the music industry is to provide music, or to rely upon it to service our musical needs." - Robert Fripp
#12
What you really need is a new amp
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#14
I am the table.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#15
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.” -Kurt Vonnegut


stfu Kurt


Semicolons are more pleasing to my internal dialog; heavier than a comma, but not as robotic as a full stop


that being said, Mother Night was alright. gg no re
#17
Long-ass quote:
“A poet once said, 'The whole universe is in a glass of wine.' We will probably never know in what sense he meant it, for poets do not write to be understood. But it is true that if we look at a glass of wine closely enough we see the entire universe. There are the things of physics: the twisting liquid which evaporates depending on the wind and weather, the reflection in the glass; and our imagination adds atoms. The glass is a distillation of the earth's rocks, and in its composition we see the secrets of the universe's age, and the evolution of stars. What strange array of chemicals are in the wine? How did they come to be? There are the ferments, the enzymes, the substrates, and the products. There in wine is found the great generalization; all life is fermentation. Nobody can discover the chemistry of wine without discovering, as did Louis Pasteur, the cause of much disease. How vivid is the claret, pressing its existence into the consciousness that watches it! If our small minds, for some convenience, divide this glass of wine, this universe, into parts -- physics, biology, geology, astronomy, psychology, and so on -- remember that nature does not know it! So let us put it all back together, not forgetting ultimately what it is for. Let it give us one more final pleasure; drink it and forget it all!”
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; man got to tell himself he understand.


#18
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

-Jack Handey
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#19
Only a boring man will always want things to match; real quality lies in irregularity.
In all things, perfect regularity is tasteless. Something left not quite finished is very appealing, a gesture towards the future.
Yoshida Kenkō

To take a photograph is to participate in another person's mortality, vulnerability,
mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time's relentless melt.
Susan Sontag

Are a few that spring to mind...
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#20
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

Jack Handey
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#21
Also:

When I die, I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandpa did. Not like the screaming passengers in his car.

Jack Handey
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#22
Buck up and be jolly, my dear lady! Stillbirth is a sign that God has a sense of humour!

-Oscar Wilde

Quote by Fat Lard
Semicolons are more pleasing to my internal dialog; heavier than a comma, but not as robotic as a full stop



nice misuse of a semicolon there dane
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#23
"Moisture is the essence of wetness"
-Derek Zoolander
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#24
Quote by Zaphikh
"Some people don't want you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this, some people don't want you to say that. Some people think if you mention some things they might happen. Some people are really fucking stupid. Did you ever notice that, how many stupid people you run into during the day? Goddamn there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a pad and pencil with you, you'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day. Think about this; think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

- George Carlin


is this supposed to be ironic?
#25
Quote by Eastwinn
is this supposed to be ironic?

Shots fired
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#27
Quote by slapsymcdougal


I was there when the boy, Abe Lincoln said that, to be fair..
#29
Quote by Rebel Scum
"Enjoy every sandwich" - Warren Zevon

Simple but effective I find...

this is a contender for my favourite quote of all time.

Along with Bazza from the pub's 3 W's "Whip it out, whack it in, wipe it off."
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#30
Quote by Eastwinn
is this supposed to be ironic?

If you're referring to George's use of the word "stupider", then yes, there's some irony to his whole tirade. Well done. Nothing gets past you.

Now, if you're attempting to make an underhanded statement that I am a stupid person, it would not be ironic at all - it would be coincidence. Irony is a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result. My posting of Carlin's quote in no way means: that by posting this, I am not a stupid person. It simply means that I found his quote to be entertaining, hence its placement in a thread about favorite quotes. The fact that the quote itself deals with stupid people, and that you view me as a stupid person creates a state of coincidence. On the other hand, if you found irony in me posting a quote about stupid people, you are effectually saying that my character is opposite to what the content of the quote was about.
#31
"I cannot live without books" because its true I would probs just wither away.
cat
#36
Quote by Zaphikh
If you're referring to George's use of the word "stupider", then yes, there's some irony to his whole tirade. Well done. Nothing gets past you.

Now, if you're attempting to make an underhanded statement that I am a stupid person, it would not be ironic at all - it would be coincidence. Irony is a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result. My posting of Carlin's quote in no way means: that by posting this, I am not a stupid person. It simply means that I found his quote to be entertaining, hence its placement in a thread about favorite quotes. The fact that the quote itself deals with stupid people, and that you view me as a stupid person creates a state of coincidence. On the other hand, if you found irony in me posting a quote about stupid people, you are effectually saying that my character is opposite to what the content of the quote was about.

nah.. he made a classic mistake about statistics and was apparently ignorant of some psych 101 facts. p dumb quote, reminds me of my dad
#37
Quote by theogonia777
nice misuse of a semicolon there


"I care naught for the misuse of punctuation ---- if it is aesthetic I shall like it; Wittgenstein didn't gaf about it either, so I'm good"

(Fat Lard, 2015)
#38
"fuck UG"


tons of people 2001-2015
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#40
"Now remember, Kif: the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in" - Zapp Brannigan
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
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